look of hurt on Cruz’s face earlier during their encounter in
his office today had imprinted itself on her brain. All she wanted to do was
forget his expression and, most of all, that she’d been the cause of it. Coward
that she was, she’d avoided him after that. That was easy enough to do, since
they’d seen a record number of patients come through PGH’s emergency room doors
today.
She knew she’d hurt his feelings. But damn it, why should
she care about his feelings? He’d been careless about her feelings in the past.
Not that he’d known she had a crush on him back then. So was it really his
fault? Her harsh words echoed against her skull.
“We don’t
have a relationship…That doesn’t exactly make us friends.”
She cringed. What a bitch. She’d be surprised if he ever
talked to her again.
You still care for him, even after all these
years.
“Yeah, I still care,” she said to her empty kitchen. Talking
to herself was a habit others found odd, but she never bothered to try and
break. After all, she considered herself the best listener.
“And, now he wants…” JJ frowned. “What the fuck does Cruz
want? It’s not exactly his #
DrAvery
MO.
He sleeps around. He doesn’t
have relationships.”
Glass of wine and book in hand, she headed outside to sit on
her patio while there was still light to read by. She plopped down in one of
her cozy loungers near the pool. If only their world was different and she was
free to explore this tentative…uh, relationship wasn’t exactly the word… connection? Bond?
Rapport? Bitter laughter escaped her.
But things weren’t different. The ugliness of her past hung
over her like the dark, oppressive cloud of shame. She kept telling herself
what had happened in
Beverly Hills
hadn’t been her fault. But after replaying the events over and over again in
her mind over the summer, there wasn’t anyone left to blame but herself. No one
had forced her to become involved with fellow emergency room doctor Mark Jacobs.
He’d been sexy, charismatic, and a fun companion.
At least at
first. Then
things shifted and JJ could see how he manipulated those around him to get what
he wanted, including her. There was a nasty side to Mark that she didn’t want
any part of and she broke off the relationship after only a couple of months. Trouble
was, Mark didn’t take kindly to being dumped and he began to make JJ’s life a
living hell every day at work. On her days off, he would show up where she was
and inevitably make a scene. He’d become a bit physical, grabbing her arms and
leaving bruises. He’d even gone so far as to slap her once. Once. His brutal and stalking behavior
creeped her out and scared the shit out of her.
Finally, JJ had to file a restraining order against him and
she was able to change her work schedule to work on days he wasn’t at the
hospital. Then there had been an anonymous tip to the California State Medical
Board complaining about narcotics missing from the ER’s Pyxis medication management
system and JJ was responsible. Accused, she had to defend herself before the
board. The ensuing investigation, random drug screens she had to perform over
and over, the distrust she saw in other’s gazes…JJ shuddered at the memories, as
humiliation washed over her all over again. Worse was the betrayal when she’d
found out Mark had been the one to file the complaint. That old saying came to
mind.
Fool me once,
shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
“Doesn’t matter cuz I’m not getting my ass into trouble
again.”
JJ sipped her wine and let the warmth curl deliciously in
her belly. No more dreary thoughts. She knew her new dating rules. As long as
she kept away from Cruz, she’d be fine.
She glanced at the beautiful desert skyline as the sun made
its downward climb and relaxed the tension building up along her neck and
shoulders. So many shades of blue, pink, orange and red. A perfect blend of
colors. She sighed. The sunsets were her
his office today had imprinted itself on her brain. All she wanted to do was
forget his expression and, most of all, that she’d been the cause of it. Coward
that she was, she’d avoided him after that. That was easy enough to do, since
they’d seen a record number of patients come through PGH’s emergency room doors
today.
She knew she’d hurt his feelings. But damn it, why should
she care about his feelings? He’d been careless about her feelings in the past.
Not that he’d known she had a crush on him back then. So was it really his
fault? Her harsh words echoed against her skull.
“We don’t
have a relationship…That doesn’t exactly make us friends.”
She cringed. What a bitch. She’d be surprised if he ever
talked to her again.
You still care for him, even after all these
years.
“Yeah, I still care,” she said to her empty kitchen. Talking
to herself was a habit others found odd, but she never bothered to try and
break. After all, she considered herself the best listener.
“And, now he wants…” JJ frowned. “What the fuck does Cruz
want? It’s not exactly his #
DrAvery
MO.
He sleeps around. He doesn’t
have relationships.”
Glass of wine and book in hand, she headed outside to sit on
her patio while there was still light to read by. She plopped down in one of
her cozy loungers near the pool. If only their world was different and she was
free to explore this tentative…uh, relationship wasn’t exactly the word… connection? Bond?
Rapport? Bitter laughter escaped her.
But things weren’t different. The ugliness of her past hung
over her like the dark, oppressive cloud of shame. She kept telling herself
what had happened in
Beverly Hills
hadn’t been her fault. But after replaying the events over and over again in
her mind over the summer, there wasn’t anyone left to blame but herself. No one
had forced her to become involved with fellow emergency room doctor Mark Jacobs.
He’d been sexy, charismatic, and a fun companion.
At least at
first. Then
things shifted and JJ could see how he manipulated those around him to get what
he wanted, including her. There was a nasty side to Mark that she didn’t want
any part of and she broke off the relationship after only a couple of months. Trouble
was, Mark didn’t take kindly to being dumped and he began to make JJ’s life a
living hell every day at work. On her days off, he would show up where she was
and inevitably make a scene. He’d become a bit physical, grabbing her arms and
leaving bruises. He’d even gone so far as to slap her once. Once. His brutal and stalking behavior
creeped her out and scared the shit out of her.
Finally, JJ had to file a restraining order against him and
she was able to change her work schedule to work on days he wasn’t at the
hospital. Then there had been an anonymous tip to the California State Medical
Board complaining about narcotics missing from the ER’s Pyxis medication management
system and JJ was responsible. Accused, she had to defend herself before the
board. The ensuing investigation, random drug screens she had to perform over
and over, the distrust she saw in other’s gazes…JJ shuddered at the memories, as
humiliation washed over her all over again. Worse was the betrayal when she’d
found out Mark had been the one to file the complaint. That old saying came to
mind.
Fool me once,
shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
“Doesn’t matter cuz I’m not getting my ass into trouble
again.”
JJ sipped her wine and let the warmth curl deliciously in
her belly. No more dreary thoughts. She knew her new dating rules. As long as
she kept away from Cruz, she’d be fine.
She glanced at the beautiful desert skyline as the sun made
its downward climb and relaxed the tension building up along her neck and
shoulders. So many shades of blue, pink, orange and red. A perfect blend of
colors. She sighed. The sunsets were her
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