knew it would never end. These people, these fine church folk—her mother included—would never free her from the cage of words they’d conjured to confine her. Bad girl. Lizzie the lezzie. Somehow her sister Myra’s sins, the smoking and drinking that started in middle school, the endless string of boys, were never discussed. But Myra had always been an afterthought—an accident according to Rob and Brett—yet fair like the rest of the Kerns. Ellie stood out, dark-haired and large-breasted. Different.
She considered running, leaving the valley for good. But she knew there was nowhere she could go. Even Klamath Falls, only forty miles down a winding county road, seemed a world away. When Luellen left for Southern Oregon University in the fall, an option never even considered for her, Ellie would be alone. Helpless. And so, come Saturday, her father escorted her down the aisle in the Victory Chapel sanctuary, pausing only to squeeze her arm and sigh before moving to his seat in the front row. It took all she had to hold back her tears as she and Stuart spoke their vows. That night the worm found its home.
Ellie sat in the brook, allowed the water to fill the smooth valley between her legs and draw away the heat. A sense of chilly calm crept up her back. The wedding had been two years before, a lifetime ago. A sharp boundary between Ellie Kern and Lizzie Spaneker, two different girls. After the wedding, she and Stuart moved onto a small farm, a joint gift from the Spanekers and the Kerns. The water rights were restricted, but adequate to run a small crop of field corn and another of barley. Ellie cared for the house while Stuart split time working on her family’s hog ranch and for his old man. In time, Stuart hoped his efforts on behalf of the Kernsmight earn him a portion of the plentiful Kern water. Another foot or two per acre would enable him to plant mint or peas or potatoes, real cash crops.
Until then, the long hours kept Stuart busy and tired—a blessing for Ellie. He’d come in late at night, eat, and fall right to sleep. Every so often he awoke in the night. “I want some of the sweet stuff.” A compliant wife, she’d spread her legs. Sometimes she bled, but her mother told her bleeding was common for new brides. Ellie wasn’t so sure—Lady Latex had never mentioned it—but she kept her mouth shut. Stuart gave her money for expenses and she worked around their little farm. There were some chickens and rabbits, the garden to keep up. Housework. She stayed busy. Stuart was tired often enough that when he wasn’t she could deal with the worm.
But now it was the end of the season. Field corn laid up, barley sold. Stuart was around more, wanted sex more often. The worm remained long and thin and always stretched out tight like a steel spring.
“I’d leave him.” Luellen was home from college for a visit. “That, or make him do some reading on the concept of foreplay. They have books with pictures and everything.”
“You’re from another world.”
Luellen had no response.
As autumn settled onto the valley, Stuart came to a decision. “Let’s make us a son.” He’d barged into the house full of energy after a slow day doing equipment maintenance with his father. Just last night, Ellie thought, the waters of the brook trailing ripples from her dipped fingers. For herself, Ellie hoped for a daughter. Someone who could grow up in the house with her while Stuart was working, someone she could talk to and teach to be a woman. But when she said as much to Stuart, he scoffed.
“Someone you can lezzie with, Lizzie?” He laughed as though he’d made a joke and pressed her into the wall, kissed her hard.Then he picked her up with one arm around her waist. He carried her into their bedroom and dropped her on the bed. “Remember when everyone thought you were a witch?”
She sighed. “I’d rather forget.”
“Aw, come on. It’s kinda funny when you think about it.” He laughed again and
She considered running, leaving the valley for good. But she knew there was nowhere she could go. Even Klamath Falls, only forty miles down a winding county road, seemed a world away. When Luellen left for Southern Oregon University in the fall, an option never even considered for her, Ellie would be alone. Helpless. And so, come Saturday, her father escorted her down the aisle in the Victory Chapel sanctuary, pausing only to squeeze her arm and sigh before moving to his seat in the front row. It took all she had to hold back her tears as she and Stuart spoke their vows. That night the worm found its home.
Ellie sat in the brook, allowed the water to fill the smooth valley between her legs and draw away the heat. A sense of chilly calm crept up her back. The wedding had been two years before, a lifetime ago. A sharp boundary between Ellie Kern and Lizzie Spaneker, two different girls. After the wedding, she and Stuart moved onto a small farm, a joint gift from the Spanekers and the Kerns. The water rights were restricted, but adequate to run a small crop of field corn and another of barley. Ellie cared for the house while Stuart split time working on her family’s hog ranch and for his old man. In time, Stuart hoped his efforts on behalf of the Kernsmight earn him a portion of the plentiful Kern water. Another foot or two per acre would enable him to plant mint or peas or potatoes, real cash crops.
Until then, the long hours kept Stuart busy and tired—a blessing for Ellie. He’d come in late at night, eat, and fall right to sleep. Every so often he awoke in the night. “I want some of the sweet stuff.” A compliant wife, she’d spread her legs. Sometimes she bled, but her mother told her bleeding was common for new brides. Ellie wasn’t so sure—Lady Latex had never mentioned it—but she kept her mouth shut. Stuart gave her money for expenses and she worked around their little farm. There were some chickens and rabbits, the garden to keep up. Housework. She stayed busy. Stuart was tired often enough that when he wasn’t she could deal with the worm.
But now it was the end of the season. Field corn laid up, barley sold. Stuart was around more, wanted sex more often. The worm remained long and thin and always stretched out tight like a steel spring.
“I’d leave him.” Luellen was home from college for a visit. “That, or make him do some reading on the concept of foreplay. They have books with pictures and everything.”
“You’re from another world.”
Luellen had no response.
As autumn settled onto the valley, Stuart came to a decision. “Let’s make us a son.” He’d barged into the house full of energy after a slow day doing equipment maintenance with his father. Just last night, Ellie thought, the waters of the brook trailing ripples from her dipped fingers. For herself, Ellie hoped for a daughter. Someone who could grow up in the house with her while Stuart was working, someone she could talk to and teach to be a woman. But when she said as much to Stuart, he scoffed.
“Someone you can lezzie with, Lizzie?” He laughed as though he’d made a joke and pressed her into the wall, kissed her hard.Then he picked her up with one arm around her waist. He carried her into their bedroom and dropped her on the bed. “Remember when everyone thought you were a witch?”
She sighed. “I’d rather forget.”
“Aw, come on. It’s kinda funny when you think about it.” He laughed again and
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