to his computer and said we should get back to work.
He seemed relieved to change the subject and for the next ten minutes, I answered as many questions as I could about Alyce. Things she loved, like black-and-white movies; her favorite color (purple); things she hated, like holidays (except Halloween), pink anything, girls who talked in baby voices, and poor dental hygiene. She scorned team sports and wasn’t involved in extracurricular activities except the Halsey Hospitality Club that I started our freshman year. Alyce, Dustin, and I used to be the only members, but recently a bunch of volunteers had signed up. As president, I officiated at meetings and distributed “Hello Halsey!” gift baskets to new students. Dustin did paperwork, and Alyce worked behind the scenes creating these beautiful baskets.
When I was done answering questions, Dustin inputted everything and accessed some records for the school yearbook. After a few minutes, a printer started up.
“Got it!” Dustin announced when the printer was silent and a single sheet of paper fluttered in a tray. He scooped up the paper and held it out for me. “Here. The top three ‘love’ matches for Alyce.”
With hopes fluttering, I read the names:
1. Zachary Hernandez
2. Kyle Mondovey
3. Taylor A. Pate
Oh. My. God.
Staring down at the printout, my throat went drier than a desert in a drought. I could hardly speak. No freaking way could Dustin be serious! This had to be a joke. Ha, ha, just messing around so he could mock me and prove my idea sucked.
Zachary wore neat, buttoned-down shirts and was always flashing a big grin like he was running for election—which could be the case, since he was on the Student Council and president of the photography club. While I didn’t know Zachary personally, I knew enough to worry for his personal safety if he ever got too close to Alyce. She’d run him through the garbage disposal and feed his remains to her cat.
Kyle’s rebel ’tude might intrigue Alyce: black leather, shaved head, piercings, and front teeth sharpened to dagger points. He was rumored to have a mob uncle and be only recently returned from his true alma mater, Juvie. And those weren’t the worst rumors—his last girlfriend couldn’t hide her bruises with makeup and, after showing up with a broken arm, she “coincidentally” transferred to another school.
“Amazing results, huh?” Dustin asked me.
“How can you possibly ask me that? Alyce could never fall in love with any of these people. Zachary is a total tool—she can’t stand guys like him. And Kyle—well, he scares me. It’s not safe to mess with someone with family connections.”
“You know better than to listen to rumors. His uncle isn’t in the mob. He works at a mobile phone company.”
“That doesn’t explain the bruises on his last girlfriend, Keesha, and I saw her broken arm.”
“The computer doesn’t lie,” Dustin insisted as he scooped the papers out of my hands. “These three guys are the top matches for Alyce.”
“Guys?” I snorted. “FYI, Dustin. Taylor isn’t even a guy.”
“What are you saying?”
“Taylor Ann Pate is in my gym class, and she’s definitely female.”
Biting his lower lip, he glanced down uneasily at the paper. “That’s not possible. I couldn’t miss such an important detail. Still, it’s easily fixed. I’ll delete Taylor from the list. That still leaves us two promising matches. Are you ready to proceed to the next step?”
“Next step?” I asked uneasily.
“Contact in a public setting.”
“You mean … dates?”
“How else will you select the best candidate for Alyce?”
“No, no, no way.” I pulled over a chair and sank next to him. “I hadn’t thought about that … I mean … How can I go out with other guys? I won’t cheat on Eli.”
“You won’t be going out—Alyce will.”
“With me in her body. Eww! What if Zachary or Kyle try to kiss me?”
“That would be a great opportunity to
He seemed relieved to change the subject and for the next ten minutes, I answered as many questions as I could about Alyce. Things she loved, like black-and-white movies; her favorite color (purple); things she hated, like holidays (except Halloween), pink anything, girls who talked in baby voices, and poor dental hygiene. She scorned team sports and wasn’t involved in extracurricular activities except the Halsey Hospitality Club that I started our freshman year. Alyce, Dustin, and I used to be the only members, but recently a bunch of volunteers had signed up. As president, I officiated at meetings and distributed “Hello Halsey!” gift baskets to new students. Dustin did paperwork, and Alyce worked behind the scenes creating these beautiful baskets.
When I was done answering questions, Dustin inputted everything and accessed some records for the school yearbook. After a few minutes, a printer started up.
“Got it!” Dustin announced when the printer was silent and a single sheet of paper fluttered in a tray. He scooped up the paper and held it out for me. “Here. The top three ‘love’ matches for Alyce.”
With hopes fluttering, I read the names:
1. Zachary Hernandez
2. Kyle Mondovey
3. Taylor A. Pate
Oh. My. God.
Staring down at the printout, my throat went drier than a desert in a drought. I could hardly speak. No freaking way could Dustin be serious! This had to be a joke. Ha, ha, just messing around so he could mock me and prove my idea sucked.
Zachary wore neat, buttoned-down shirts and was always flashing a big grin like he was running for election—which could be the case, since he was on the Student Council and president of the photography club. While I didn’t know Zachary personally, I knew enough to worry for his personal safety if he ever got too close to Alyce. She’d run him through the garbage disposal and feed his remains to her cat.
Kyle’s rebel ’tude might intrigue Alyce: black leather, shaved head, piercings, and front teeth sharpened to dagger points. He was rumored to have a mob uncle and be only recently returned from his true alma mater, Juvie. And those weren’t the worst rumors—his last girlfriend couldn’t hide her bruises with makeup and, after showing up with a broken arm, she “coincidentally” transferred to another school.
“Amazing results, huh?” Dustin asked me.
“How can you possibly ask me that? Alyce could never fall in love with any of these people. Zachary is a total tool—she can’t stand guys like him. And Kyle—well, he scares me. It’s not safe to mess with someone with family connections.”
“You know better than to listen to rumors. His uncle isn’t in the mob. He works at a mobile phone company.”
“That doesn’t explain the bruises on his last girlfriend, Keesha, and I saw her broken arm.”
“The computer doesn’t lie,” Dustin insisted as he scooped the papers out of my hands. “These three guys are the top matches for Alyce.”
“Guys?” I snorted. “FYI, Dustin. Taylor isn’t even a guy.”
“What are you saying?”
“Taylor Ann Pate is in my gym class, and she’s definitely female.”
Biting his lower lip, he glanced down uneasily at the paper. “That’s not possible. I couldn’t miss such an important detail. Still, it’s easily fixed. I’ll delete Taylor from the list. That still leaves us two promising matches. Are you ready to proceed to the next step?”
“Next step?” I asked uneasily.
“Contact in a public setting.”
“You mean … dates?”
“How else will you select the best candidate for Alyce?”
“No, no, no way.” I pulled over a chair and sank next to him. “I hadn’t thought about that … I mean … How can I go out with other guys? I won’t cheat on Eli.”
“You won’t be going out—Alyce will.”
“With me in her body. Eww! What if Zachary or Kyle try to kiss me?”
“That would be a great opportunity to
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