thrashing about in the water. I see their life ebbing away as water floods their lungs, and they sink down to join the other sunken-eyed skeletons in that watery graveyard below.
Why are they so afraid of drowning? Death is as certain as life itself. And being taken by the sea is the only way to go. Why thrash about? Why scream? Why not go serenely and calmly to the next life? It’s a mystery to me.
I keep asking myself if I care? The truthful answer is no, because I know they no longer suffer.
Sometimes I wonder if I will become like the ancient mariner, incurring the wrath of the spirits when he shot the albatross? Will I be doomed to bear the burden of my crimes and wander the seas for eternity? Except that would be no hardship for me.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, trying to pin-point the turning point, the exact moment. But I can’t. I had a simple, happy childhood. I had everything I needed. Since then, I’ve lived my life exactly how I’ve wanted to live it. So when did it happen?
When did I become this person I am now? Still, think of what the Bible says: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
9
Jess lay in bed, exhausted from travelling, but with her mind so alive she was finding it hard to get to sleep. She’d been up twice to get a drink of water to counteract all the food and alcohol at dinner. Why did she have that coffee after everyone had gone? Now, apart from the sound of waves caressing the shore, all she could hear was the ceiling fan clunking rhythmically above.
Tossing this way and that in the heat, her arms and legs itched like mad from mozzie bites. She’d been counting sheep, even trying to meditate herself to sleep.
Clunk… clunk.
She had to get some sleep, or she’d be fit for nothing in the morning.
Clunk… clunk.
Her eyes felt heavy…
The pavement glowed white in the moonlight as she ran. Only the sound of her ragged breathing cut into the silence of the night. Throat constricted with terror and dizzy with exhaustion, she was running as fast as she could without getting anywhere. Run! She screamed at herself. Run!
She looked over her shoulder. She couldn’t hear any footsteps, but she knew he was there.
Fear flowed through her. She had to get inside where she’d be safe… if only she could get to the door. Why couldn’t she get to the door? Why couldn’t she move?
She could hear her teeth chattering, then another sound…
A familiar sound, carried over from her waking life. If only she could understand it. Was someone crying? A child? But the sound escaped back into the recesses of her dreams, lost or irretrievable in her befuddled mind.
A loud noise crashed in her ears. Jess snapped awake, and looked around at unfamiliar dark shapes and shadows.
Where was she?
Of course! Everything came flooding back… the Governor’s Residence.
Lying naked, she stared into womblike darkness, listening to the rain lash against the windows. Her hair was sticking to her damp forehead and neck, as little beads of sweat trickled between her breasts.
The latch on her bedroom door clicked.
She gasped and sat up. “Who’s there?”
No reply.
Her heart hammered as she jumped out of bed and went over to the door. She peered out to the landing. No-one there. The house was dark and still. Closing the door, she turned the key in the lock and went over to the window. As she opened the shutters, spray from the hammering rain blew in her face. It was so refreshing, she breathed in deeply to banish the suffocating heat, and looked down into the courtyard. She could see nothing in the dark and rain. It must have been the wind earlier blowing through the house’s old timbers and rattling the latch on her bedroom door. Why was she so jumpy?
She went back over to the bed, then stopped. There was no way she’d be able to go back to sleep without checking the house.
She put on her robe. Barefoot, she went
Why are they so afraid of drowning? Death is as certain as life itself. And being taken by the sea is the only way to go. Why thrash about? Why scream? Why not go serenely and calmly to the next life? It’s a mystery to me.
I keep asking myself if I care? The truthful answer is no, because I know they no longer suffer.
Sometimes I wonder if I will become like the ancient mariner, incurring the wrath of the spirits when he shot the albatross? Will I be doomed to bear the burden of my crimes and wander the seas for eternity? Except that would be no hardship for me.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, trying to pin-point the turning point, the exact moment. But I can’t. I had a simple, happy childhood. I had everything I needed. Since then, I’ve lived my life exactly how I’ve wanted to live it. So when did it happen?
When did I become this person I am now? Still, think of what the Bible says: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
9
Jess lay in bed, exhausted from travelling, but with her mind so alive she was finding it hard to get to sleep. She’d been up twice to get a drink of water to counteract all the food and alcohol at dinner. Why did she have that coffee after everyone had gone? Now, apart from the sound of waves caressing the shore, all she could hear was the ceiling fan clunking rhythmically above.
Tossing this way and that in the heat, her arms and legs itched like mad from mozzie bites. She’d been counting sheep, even trying to meditate herself to sleep.
Clunk… clunk.
She had to get some sleep, or she’d be fit for nothing in the morning.
Clunk… clunk.
Her eyes felt heavy…
The pavement glowed white in the moonlight as she ran. Only the sound of her ragged breathing cut into the silence of the night. Throat constricted with terror and dizzy with exhaustion, she was running as fast as she could without getting anywhere. Run! She screamed at herself. Run!
She looked over her shoulder. She couldn’t hear any footsteps, but she knew he was there.
Fear flowed through her. She had to get inside where she’d be safe… if only she could get to the door. Why couldn’t she get to the door? Why couldn’t she move?
She could hear her teeth chattering, then another sound…
A familiar sound, carried over from her waking life. If only she could understand it. Was someone crying? A child? But the sound escaped back into the recesses of her dreams, lost or irretrievable in her befuddled mind.
A loud noise crashed in her ears. Jess snapped awake, and looked around at unfamiliar dark shapes and shadows.
Where was she?
Of course! Everything came flooding back… the Governor’s Residence.
Lying naked, she stared into womblike darkness, listening to the rain lash against the windows. Her hair was sticking to her damp forehead and neck, as little beads of sweat trickled between her breasts.
The latch on her bedroom door clicked.
She gasped and sat up. “Who’s there?”
No reply.
Her heart hammered as she jumped out of bed and went over to the door. She peered out to the landing. No-one there. The house was dark and still. Closing the door, she turned the key in the lock and went over to the window. As she opened the shutters, spray from the hammering rain blew in her face. It was so refreshing, she breathed in deeply to banish the suffocating heat, and looked down into the courtyard. She could see nothing in the dark and rain. It must have been the wind earlier blowing through the house’s old timbers and rattling the latch on her bedroom door. Why was she so jumpy?
She went back over to the bed, then stopped. There was no way she’d be able to go back to sleep without checking the house.
She put on her robe. Barefoot, she went
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