the position in life that God has called them to occupy.
At that my Irish blood came to the surface, and I told him that if God had planned to make all of these 113 little children into useless, ignorant, unhappy citizens, I was going to fool God! That we weren't educating them out of their class in the least. We were educating them INTO their natural class much more effectually than is done in the average family. We weren't trying to force them into college if they hadn't any brains, as happens with rich men's sons; and we weren't putting them to work at fourteen if they were naturally ambitious, as happens with poor men's sons. We were watching them closely and individually and discovering their level. If our children showed an aptitude to become farm laborers and nurse-maids, we were going to teach them to be the best possible farm laborers and nurse-maids; and if they showed a tendency to become lawyers, we would turn them into honest, intelligent, open-minded lawyers. (He's a lawyer himself, but certainly not an open-minded one.)
He grunted when I had finished my remarks, and stirred his tea vigorously. Whereupon I suggested that perhaps he needed another lump of sugar, and dropped it in, and left him to absorb it.
The only way to deal with trustees is with a firm and steady hand. You have to keep them in their places.
Oh, my dear! that smudge in the corner was caused by Singapore's black tongue. He is trying to send you an affectionate kiss. Poor Sing thinks he's a lap dog--isn't it a tragedy when people mistake their vocations? I myself am not always certain that I was born an orphan asylum superintendent.
Yours, til deth,
S. McB.
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE,
JOHN GRIER HOME,
April 4.
THE PENDLETON FAMILY,
Palm Beach, Florida.
Dear Sir and Madam:
I have weathered my first visitors' day, and made the trustees a beautiful speech. Everybody said it was a beautiful speech--even my enemies.
Mr. Gordon Hallock's recent visit was exceptionally opportune; I gleaned from him many suggestions as to how to carry an audience.
"Be funny."--I told about Sadie Kate and a few other cherubs that you don't know.
"Keep it concrete and fitted to the intelligence of your audience."--I watched the Hon. Cy, and never said a thing that he couldn't understand.
"Flatter your hearers."--I hinted delicately that all of these new reforms were due to the wisdom and initiative of our peerless trustees.
"Give it a high moral tone, with a dash of pathos."--I dwelt upon the parentless condition of these little wards of Society. And it was very affecting--my enemy wiped away a tear!
Then I fed them up on chocolate and whipped cream and lemonade and tartar sandwiches, and sent them home, expansive and beaming, but without any appetite for dinner.
I dwell thus at length upon our triumph, in order to create in you a happy frame of mind, before passing to the higeous calamity that so nearly wrecked the occasion.
"Now follows the dim horror of my tale, And I feel I'm growing gradually pale, For, even at this day, Though its smell has passed away, When I venture to remember it, I quail!"
You never heard of our little Tammas Kehoe, did you? I simply haven't featured Tammas because he requires so much ink and time and vocabulary. He's a spirited lad, and he follows his dad, a mighty hunter of old--that sounds like more Bab Ballads, but it isn't; I made it up as I went along.
We can't break Tammas of his inherited predatory instincts. He shoots the chickens with bows and arrows and lassoes the pigs and plays bull-fight with the cows--and oh, is very destructive! But his crowning villainy occurred an hour before the trustees' meeting, when we wanted to be so clean and sweet and engaging.
It seems that he had stolen the rat trap from the oat bin, and had set it up in the wood lot, and yesterday morning was so fortunate as to catch a fine big skunk.
Singapore was the first to report the discovery. He returned to the house and rolled on the rugs
At that my Irish blood came to the surface, and I told him that if God had planned to make all of these 113 little children into useless, ignorant, unhappy citizens, I was going to fool God! That we weren't educating them out of their class in the least. We were educating them INTO their natural class much more effectually than is done in the average family. We weren't trying to force them into college if they hadn't any brains, as happens with rich men's sons; and we weren't putting them to work at fourteen if they were naturally ambitious, as happens with poor men's sons. We were watching them closely and individually and discovering their level. If our children showed an aptitude to become farm laborers and nurse-maids, we were going to teach them to be the best possible farm laborers and nurse-maids; and if they showed a tendency to become lawyers, we would turn them into honest, intelligent, open-minded lawyers. (He's a lawyer himself, but certainly not an open-minded one.)
He grunted when I had finished my remarks, and stirred his tea vigorously. Whereupon I suggested that perhaps he needed another lump of sugar, and dropped it in, and left him to absorb it.
The only way to deal with trustees is with a firm and steady hand. You have to keep them in their places.
Oh, my dear! that smudge in the corner was caused by Singapore's black tongue. He is trying to send you an affectionate kiss. Poor Sing thinks he's a lap dog--isn't it a tragedy when people mistake their vocations? I myself am not always certain that I was born an orphan asylum superintendent.
Yours, til deth,
S. McB.
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE,
JOHN GRIER HOME,
April 4.
THE PENDLETON FAMILY,
Palm Beach, Florida.
Dear Sir and Madam:
I have weathered my first visitors' day, and made the trustees a beautiful speech. Everybody said it was a beautiful speech--even my enemies.
Mr. Gordon Hallock's recent visit was exceptionally opportune; I gleaned from him many suggestions as to how to carry an audience.
"Be funny."--I told about Sadie Kate and a few other cherubs that you don't know.
"Keep it concrete and fitted to the intelligence of your audience."--I watched the Hon. Cy, and never said a thing that he couldn't understand.
"Flatter your hearers."--I hinted delicately that all of these new reforms were due to the wisdom and initiative of our peerless trustees.
"Give it a high moral tone, with a dash of pathos."--I dwelt upon the parentless condition of these little wards of Society. And it was very affecting--my enemy wiped away a tear!
Then I fed them up on chocolate and whipped cream and lemonade and tartar sandwiches, and sent them home, expansive and beaming, but without any appetite for dinner.
I dwell thus at length upon our triumph, in order to create in you a happy frame of mind, before passing to the higeous calamity that so nearly wrecked the occasion.
"Now follows the dim horror of my tale, And I feel I'm growing gradually pale, For, even at this day, Though its smell has passed away, When I venture to remember it, I quail!"
You never heard of our little Tammas Kehoe, did you? I simply haven't featured Tammas because he requires so much ink and time and vocabulary. He's a spirited lad, and he follows his dad, a mighty hunter of old--that sounds like more Bab Ballads, but it isn't; I made it up as I went along.
We can't break Tammas of his inherited predatory instincts. He shoots the chickens with bows and arrows and lassoes the pigs and plays bull-fight with the cows--and oh, is very destructive! But his crowning villainy occurred an hour before the trustees' meeting, when we wanted to be so clean and sweet and engaging.
It seems that he had stolen the rat trap from the oat bin, and had set it up in the wood lot, and yesterday morning was so fortunate as to catch a fine big skunk.
Singapore was the first to report the discovery. He returned to the house and rolled on the rugs
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