of my rapid career changes. I remember once saying, âIâve got a great idea for a new business.â He replied, âFor Godâs sake donât tell me what it is, sonny boy, or I shall probably laugh so much that Iâll make a mess in my trousers.â
26 September
Dear Charlie,
Herewith £100, I suggest â I donât expect suggestions to be accepted â that you buy an overcoat, some watertight shoes and some warm shirts. You might also pay some rent in advance and put yourself â temporarily â on a good wicket.
I had lunch with your godfather F. Fletcher today, a very gentle person, essentially kind. His marriage is disintegrating, he is in poor health and v. hard up. Your mother is v. tiresome at present and by 8.30 p.m. seems to have reached the point of no return.
If Aunt Joan asks you to supper, please go. She is not a very hilarious character but fundamentally benevolent and you could be the heir! Sheâs much richer than I am.
D
(R. F. Mortimer)
1974
Budds Farm
28 February
Here is some treacle for your petrol. If there is anything left over, stand plump Miss Fisheyes a drink.
RFM
I have just opened an estate agency called Tips Butler and Co in Kensington High Street. The backing money is provided by some highly suspect continental gentlemen. Due to the minersâ strike and the three-day week, this turns out to be possibly the most unpropitious time in living memory to open such a venture
.
Dear Charles,
Aunt Shirley, accompanied by her nurse-companion, had to stay three nights in a hotel in Dorset last week. Unfortunately Aunt Shirley had to get up several times in the night. Each time she went back to the wrong room and the climax came when she climbed into a bed already occupied by a honeymoon couple. The manager asked her to leave the next morning.
Yours ever,
RM
I am invited to my Great-Aunt Shirleyâs eightieth birthday celebrations at the Dorchester. I say, âHello, Aunt Shirley, itâs a great party.â âYes it is, isnât it?â she replies. âWhose is it?â
I fear I opened this boring communication to you by mistake. How do you like humping bricks? I expect it is more fatiguing that constructing halma boards but more profitable. Come and have a rest here soon.
RFM
After my estate agency goes bust I try my hand at labouring on a building site and making backgammon boards which, rather surprisingly, I sell to Asprey, purveyor of luxury goods
.
Budds Farm
3 April
My Dear Lupin,
I enclose a small birthday present with my best wishes. Iâm afraid it wonât get you very far nowadays but you may be able to buy a gallon of petrol and a meal at a Chinese restaurant near the Tottenham Court Road.
It is regrettable that your twenty-second birthday finds you out of work and with scant prospect of employment. I did talk to Mr P. on your behalf. Unfortunately his organization will not consider anyone who does not possess a university degree. Furthermore, out of the thirty graduates selected, only one or two survive the preliminary training.
It is unfortunate that you possess no qualifications of any sort, not even a single humble A level. Furthermore, you have never stuck to anything long since leaving school, which hardly encourages a potential employer. I know you are capable of hard work and you have the useful ability of getting on with people, but up till now you have been, in racing parlance, a non-stayer. However, it is the way of life you have chosen and there is nothing that I can do about it. I am afraid that the construction of sets for Ludo, etc. will not get you very far. Do you know anyone in North Sea oil? That is where the big money is going to be before long. My own business, journalism, is in a sad plight and it is quite possible that Beaverbrook newspapers will fold up before the year is out. Have you considered the Church? There is much to be said for the quiet life of a country curate.
26 September
Dear Charlie,
Herewith £100, I suggest â I donât expect suggestions to be accepted â that you buy an overcoat, some watertight shoes and some warm shirts. You might also pay some rent in advance and put yourself â temporarily â on a good wicket.
I had lunch with your godfather F. Fletcher today, a very gentle person, essentially kind. His marriage is disintegrating, he is in poor health and v. hard up. Your mother is v. tiresome at present and by 8.30 p.m. seems to have reached the point of no return.
If Aunt Joan asks you to supper, please go. She is not a very hilarious character but fundamentally benevolent and you could be the heir! Sheâs much richer than I am.
D
(R. F. Mortimer)
1974
Budds Farm
28 February
Here is some treacle for your petrol. If there is anything left over, stand plump Miss Fisheyes a drink.
RFM
I have just opened an estate agency called Tips Butler and Co in Kensington High Street. The backing money is provided by some highly suspect continental gentlemen. Due to the minersâ strike and the three-day week, this turns out to be possibly the most unpropitious time in living memory to open such a venture
.
Dear Charles,
Aunt Shirley, accompanied by her nurse-companion, had to stay three nights in a hotel in Dorset last week. Unfortunately Aunt Shirley had to get up several times in the night. Each time she went back to the wrong room and the climax came when she climbed into a bed already occupied by a honeymoon couple. The manager asked her to leave the next morning.
Yours ever,
RM
I am invited to my Great-Aunt Shirleyâs eightieth birthday celebrations at the Dorchester. I say, âHello, Aunt Shirley, itâs a great party.â âYes it is, isnât it?â she replies. âWhose is it?â
I fear I opened this boring communication to you by mistake. How do you like humping bricks? I expect it is more fatiguing that constructing halma boards but more profitable. Come and have a rest here soon.
RFM
After my estate agency goes bust I try my hand at labouring on a building site and making backgammon boards which, rather surprisingly, I sell to Asprey, purveyor of luxury goods
.
Budds Farm
3 April
My Dear Lupin,
I enclose a small birthday present with my best wishes. Iâm afraid it wonât get you very far nowadays but you may be able to buy a gallon of petrol and a meal at a Chinese restaurant near the Tottenham Court Road.
It is regrettable that your twenty-second birthday finds you out of work and with scant prospect of employment. I did talk to Mr P. on your behalf. Unfortunately his organization will not consider anyone who does not possess a university degree. Furthermore, out of the thirty graduates selected, only one or two survive the preliminary training.
It is unfortunate that you possess no qualifications of any sort, not even a single humble A level. Furthermore, you have never stuck to anything long since leaving school, which hardly encourages a potential employer. I know you are capable of hard work and you have the useful ability of getting on with people, but up till now you have been, in racing parlance, a non-stayer. However, it is the way of life you have chosen and there is nothing that I can do about it. I am afraid that the construction of sets for Ludo, etc. will not get you very far. Do you know anyone in North Sea oil? That is where the big money is going to be before long. My own business, journalism, is in a sad plight and it is quite possible that Beaverbrook newspapers will fold up before the year is out. Have you considered the Church? There is much to be said for the quiet life of a country curate.
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