I have never seen him so cast down. Shortly we are to go to Bagnères, a nearby spa, which I am told does wonders for depressed spirits, and I am hoping it will have the effect of uplifting us all.
New Year 1786
I could not have believed that we should find such pleasant society in this part of the world, but we have met with such elegant and fashionable people as I thought were to be found only in London and Paris. Dear Lord and Lady Chesterfield, whom we met at the spa last year, are now with us at the house party to celebrate the New Year. He has been ambassador to Madrid for some time and she could not be more affable and charming. They introduced us to several other English families—we were surprised to find so many in this far-flung place—and we have visited and corresponded these last few months.
We are to have theatricals at the house party and I hope that my condition will not prevent me from taking part. Lady Chesterfield was so delightfully solicitous of my health when I confessed to her the reason for my frequent digestive upsets.
‘You are far and away the best actress among us Madame la Comtesse,’ she declared, ‘but we must take no risks with your heath. The Comte, after all, needs an heir to inherit his great new estate once his work is completed.’
These new acquaintances have greatly increased my enjoyment of this part of France and I feel now I could settle here for some years quite contentedly.
I have written to my eldest cousin, James Austen, to beg he would visit us here. My uncle, I know, feels he should travel before he goes up to Oxford and what better place to visit than our works, which will be well advanced by the time he gets here.
February 1786
My plans for my cousin’s visit have been thrown into disarray by the urgent desire my husband has expressed for our child to be born inEngland. I had not reckoned that he would feel this so strongly and had not considered that I might have to undertake the long journey again in my delicate state of health.
‘Consider, dear wife, the advantages of an English birth for our son, and I am sure they will overcome all your doubts. To be born an Englishman will no doubt be of great advantage to him in future years.’
‘But Comte, he—if it is indeed a son—will be born into the French nobility. Would that not be of equal—indeed greater—advantage?’
‘In former times I would consider you to be correct in that assumption, but as things are here at present I am not sure that to be related to the royal family itself could be called advantageous. Only yesterday in Guines, I heard a group of ruffians talking about wanting to be able to vote and to have the right to food—imagine, my dear, what we are coming to. No, mark me, English gentleman is what we should aspire to for our son and heir.’
I was dismayed, for I knew that the Comte would never be able to accompany me to England because of the progress of his works here. At a time when I should most have wished for and needed his company we were to be so far apart, with no fixed time for our being reunited. Had I not had the comfort of my mother to be with me, I could never have contemplated undertaking the journey. But it was my husband’s wish, so how could I gainsay him?
Rouen, May 1786
I have mixed feelings now about my arrival in England. I begin to yearn to see my dear relations and to be somewhere familiar, but I have grown so large that I am somewhat ashamed of my appearance and nervous about what my dear uncles and aunts and cousins willthink of my nonexistent waist and my tanned and roughened skin. I am afraid, too, that I lack the maternal skills and commitments that will shortly be called for. I know nothing of nurseries, nor of how to care for brats. Mama is reassuring and tells me such skills are found when they are needed. I am taken up with fearing that I have miscalculated my dates and the baby will be born in some inn en route, which would be the greatest shame
New Year 1786
I could not have believed that we should find such pleasant society in this part of the world, but we have met with such elegant and fashionable people as I thought were to be found only in London and Paris. Dear Lord and Lady Chesterfield, whom we met at the spa last year, are now with us at the house party to celebrate the New Year. He has been ambassador to Madrid for some time and she could not be more affable and charming. They introduced us to several other English families—we were surprised to find so many in this far-flung place—and we have visited and corresponded these last few months.
We are to have theatricals at the house party and I hope that my condition will not prevent me from taking part. Lady Chesterfield was so delightfully solicitous of my health when I confessed to her the reason for my frequent digestive upsets.
‘You are far and away the best actress among us Madame la Comtesse,’ she declared, ‘but we must take no risks with your heath. The Comte, after all, needs an heir to inherit his great new estate once his work is completed.’
These new acquaintances have greatly increased my enjoyment of this part of France and I feel now I could settle here for some years quite contentedly.
I have written to my eldest cousin, James Austen, to beg he would visit us here. My uncle, I know, feels he should travel before he goes up to Oxford and what better place to visit than our works, which will be well advanced by the time he gets here.
February 1786
My plans for my cousin’s visit have been thrown into disarray by the urgent desire my husband has expressed for our child to be born inEngland. I had not reckoned that he would feel this so strongly and had not considered that I might have to undertake the long journey again in my delicate state of health.
‘Consider, dear wife, the advantages of an English birth for our son, and I am sure they will overcome all your doubts. To be born an Englishman will no doubt be of great advantage to him in future years.’
‘But Comte, he—if it is indeed a son—will be born into the French nobility. Would that not be of equal—indeed greater—advantage?’
‘In former times I would consider you to be correct in that assumption, but as things are here at present I am not sure that to be related to the royal family itself could be called advantageous. Only yesterday in Guines, I heard a group of ruffians talking about wanting to be able to vote and to have the right to food—imagine, my dear, what we are coming to. No, mark me, English gentleman is what we should aspire to for our son and heir.’
I was dismayed, for I knew that the Comte would never be able to accompany me to England because of the progress of his works here. At a time when I should most have wished for and needed his company we were to be so far apart, with no fixed time for our being reunited. Had I not had the comfort of my mother to be with me, I could never have contemplated undertaking the journey. But it was my husband’s wish, so how could I gainsay him?
Rouen, May 1786
I have mixed feelings now about my arrival in England. I begin to yearn to see my dear relations and to be somewhere familiar, but I have grown so large that I am somewhat ashamed of my appearance and nervous about what my dear uncles and aunts and cousins willthink of my nonexistent waist and my tanned and roughened skin. I am afraid, too, that I lack the maternal skills and commitments that will shortly be called for. I know nothing of nurseries, nor of how to care for brats. Mama is reassuring and tells me such skills are found when they are needed. I am taken up with fearing that I have miscalculated my dates and the baby will be born in some inn en route, which would be the greatest shame
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