close call. I’d been out for two days, so near the brink that o nly Stefan’s blood could revive me. If Toa hadn’t disbanded that demon just in time, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. He had saved my life, and now asked to have an easier way to do it in the future.
My stomach turned for a different reason . I hated that Toa was right. That I’d needed Stefan’s help with that demon, and he wouldn’t supply it. Worse, since that night, three nights ago, he’d been distant. Fear, uncertainty and guilt washed through the link constantly, his emotions raging from one thing to the other even though his face stayed perfectly blank. That demon had triggered old wounds, and now he was trying to shut me out.
But sucking blood from the guy in front of me was a bit extreme. Plus, in what world did I want Toa to feel all my emotions ? I might be able to figure out how to cut them off without simultaneously cutting off Stefan’s, but I’d still feel what Toa was feeling.
Yuck. No way.
I shook my head. “Why didn’t Stefan talk to me about this? He doesn’t just give up control.”
“As I said, he does not like it, but he does see the value in it. I doubt he wanted to show his weakness by admitting his inabilities.”
“You people and your fear of weakness.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, either we need to find a different way to share magic, or we just won’t. This has gone too far into insanity-ville.”
Toa maintained his patient tone as he said, “Stefan is sacrificing on a personal level so that you may have some assurance. Some safety. Will you spit in his eye by refusing?”
Lead settled into my body. The one thing I didn’t want to do was let Stefan down for any reason. He’d constantly backed and supported me, sacrificed for me, taken the hard road to stay with me. I owed him some discomfort if it meant he’d rest easier.
I recommenced the stare off, assessing. I really didn’t want to. I really, really didn’t.
“I’ m not convinced he approved this,” I muttered.
“What does the link tell you?”
Guilt rode through it heavily, laden with a sense of failure. My heart dropped. He did know. He was sacrificing his dignity, allowing others to see that he couldn’t provide for me as he ought, in order to keep me safe. This was terrible, but it was what he wanted.
I shook my head, trying to think of a way out of this. And failing.
Chapter 5
Stefan sat in the early morning light at the back of the mansion, breathing the fresh air to calm himself. The link with Sasha had winked out a half hour before. He’d felt her doubt, and then she’d muffled their tie, something she did when she was uncomfortable with his presence. It didn’t take a genius to know why.
After another fifteen minutes he heard her soft, even pace behind him, making her way to the stone bench on which he sat. He tried not to hunch in on himself as she settled quietly beside him. She didn’t touch him as she usually did—not even a glance of the arm.
“So…” She stared out at the budding day , the trees swaying in the chilly breeze of the morning. “You’re under the impression I need to share emotion-space with Sir Stares-A-Lot, huh?”
His intestines felt like crawling snakes. “I let you down, Sasha. You could’ve died.”
“True. I could’ve died a few times since I met you. I’ve been overextending my whole magical life. And you’ve always been there to pick up the pieces. I trust you, Stefan. I trust that. You’ve always kept me safe.”
“Not this time.”
“To err is human. Even though, you know, you’re not actually human. Look, Stefan…tell me what’s wrong. Confide in me. Don’t just pawn me off on some blondie vampire look-alike because you’re too chicken to open up to your future mate. Please. ”
“I just…” How did you tell the love of your life that you weren’t worthy of her? That you were a coward. That the male she pledged her
My stomach turned for a different reason . I hated that Toa was right. That I’d needed Stefan’s help with that demon, and he wouldn’t supply it. Worse, since that night, three nights ago, he’d been distant. Fear, uncertainty and guilt washed through the link constantly, his emotions raging from one thing to the other even though his face stayed perfectly blank. That demon had triggered old wounds, and now he was trying to shut me out.
But sucking blood from the guy in front of me was a bit extreme. Plus, in what world did I want Toa to feel all my emotions ? I might be able to figure out how to cut them off without simultaneously cutting off Stefan’s, but I’d still feel what Toa was feeling.
Yuck. No way.
I shook my head. “Why didn’t Stefan talk to me about this? He doesn’t just give up control.”
“As I said, he does not like it, but he does see the value in it. I doubt he wanted to show his weakness by admitting his inabilities.”
“You people and your fear of weakness.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, either we need to find a different way to share magic, or we just won’t. This has gone too far into insanity-ville.”
Toa maintained his patient tone as he said, “Stefan is sacrificing on a personal level so that you may have some assurance. Some safety. Will you spit in his eye by refusing?”
Lead settled into my body. The one thing I didn’t want to do was let Stefan down for any reason. He’d constantly backed and supported me, sacrificed for me, taken the hard road to stay with me. I owed him some discomfort if it meant he’d rest easier.
I recommenced the stare off, assessing. I really didn’t want to. I really, really didn’t.
“I’ m not convinced he approved this,” I muttered.
“What does the link tell you?”
Guilt rode through it heavily, laden with a sense of failure. My heart dropped. He did know. He was sacrificing his dignity, allowing others to see that he couldn’t provide for me as he ought, in order to keep me safe. This was terrible, but it was what he wanted.
I shook my head, trying to think of a way out of this. And failing.
Chapter 5
Stefan sat in the early morning light at the back of the mansion, breathing the fresh air to calm himself. The link with Sasha had winked out a half hour before. He’d felt her doubt, and then she’d muffled their tie, something she did when she was uncomfortable with his presence. It didn’t take a genius to know why.
After another fifteen minutes he heard her soft, even pace behind him, making her way to the stone bench on which he sat. He tried not to hunch in on himself as she settled quietly beside him. She didn’t touch him as she usually did—not even a glance of the arm.
“So…” She stared out at the budding day , the trees swaying in the chilly breeze of the morning. “You’re under the impression I need to share emotion-space with Sir Stares-A-Lot, huh?”
His intestines felt like crawling snakes. “I let you down, Sasha. You could’ve died.”
“True. I could’ve died a few times since I met you. I’ve been overextending my whole magical life. And you’ve always been there to pick up the pieces. I trust you, Stefan. I trust that. You’ve always kept me safe.”
“Not this time.”
“To err is human. Even though, you know, you’re not actually human. Look, Stefan…tell me what’s wrong. Confide in me. Don’t just pawn me off on some blondie vampire look-alike because you’re too chicken to open up to your future mate. Please. ”
“I just…” How did you tell the love of your life that you weren’t worthy of her? That you were a coward. That the male she pledged her
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