Amy , I want you to try and stay calm, and take deep breaths.”
Amy paced the room. She was angry and confused. She needed time alone to think.
“ Amy ?”
“How am I supposed to stay calm, when I’ve never done anything,” Amy stopped pacing and faced the door, “I mean absolutely anything like that before!”
A vivid replay of what had taken place ran through Amy ’s mind. Clasping her cheeks, she tried to absorb the enormity of the situation.
“I know it’s a shock, Amy .” The door creaked as Celeste pressed against it. “It’s a shock for us both.” She paused. “But I’m sure if we talk, we can sort this out.”
Beginning to hyperventilate, Amy drew out her words. “We just had… sex, Celeste ! I don’t think anything you say can talk us out of that!” She stared at the door. “I can’t deal with this…you…right now!”
“ Amy , open the door.”
Trying to regulate her breathing, Amy leaned against the wall closest to the door. “I don’t…want…you here. Okay? There’s…nothing…to say…right now. I can’t—” Amy’s breath came in short gasps, cutting off her words.
Standing outside Amy ’s room, Celeste listened helplessly.
“ Amy . Listen to me, take deep breaths.” Aware that Amy was going into shock, Celeste injected authority into her voice. “I’m happy not to talk just now.” She tried being persuasive. “But I don’t want to leave you like this. It’s clear you’re having an anxiety attack, and I have no idea if you have a history of this or if you have respiratory problems.” Her tone precise, she added, “ Amy , I need to know you are not on any type of medication or suffer from any problems like asthma?”
No response.
Celeste swallowed. Her own anxiety increasing, she tried again. “If you want me to go, I’ll leave. But only once I know you’re going to be okay.”
No response.
Her face pained and voice tight, Celeste leaned further into the door. “ Amy , please. I need to know you’re going to be okay when I leave.”
After a long silence, Amy responded. “No…I don’t have a problem.” Still struggling, she forced out. “I know what to do. I’ll get a bag, and breathe into it.” Celeste heard her suck air in deeply. “I’ll be fine…as soon as you leave.”
Relief washed over Celeste . Leaning her head against the door, she responded gratefully, “Okay. I’m going downstairs to get my things, and then I’ll go.” She stroked the door. “It’ll take me just a few minutes, I promise.”
“Just go…please.”
Pushing off the door, Celeste made her way to the room she would have slept in. In the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed, holding her head, wondering why the hell she hadn’t seen this coming.
Rubbing her temples, she exhaled slowly and remembered the golf day with Amy . She thought about how aware she was of her, and that something that passed between them when she tucked Amy ’s label away.
Celeste looked at her fingers aware on that day they had tingled for a long time afterward. Shaking her head, she blinked several times understanding she wouldn’t have seen it coming because since Felice’s death she hadn’t been thinking clearly.
Standing, she looked at her watch, she didn’t want to leave Amy , but medical experience told her it was best. Picking up her hair band from the bedside cabinet, she caught her hair and tied it back. Realizing she was barefoot, she picked up her overnight bag, and hurriedly stuffed in items she had removed earlier. She threw it over her shoulder, and quickly made her way to the living room to retrieve her shoes.
On the street, Celeste called a cab. Not wanting Amy to look out the window and see her hanging around, she gave an address two blocks down. Walking, her thoughts turned for the first time to Josh.
“Josh!”
Celeste ’s hands covered her mouth. Stricken to the core, her heart thudded hard against her rib cage. Tonight’s events would directly
Amy paced the room. She was angry and confused. She needed time alone to think.
“ Amy ?”
“How am I supposed to stay calm, when I’ve never done anything,” Amy stopped pacing and faced the door, “I mean absolutely anything like that before!”
A vivid replay of what had taken place ran through Amy ’s mind. Clasping her cheeks, she tried to absorb the enormity of the situation.
“I know it’s a shock, Amy .” The door creaked as Celeste pressed against it. “It’s a shock for us both.” She paused. “But I’m sure if we talk, we can sort this out.”
Beginning to hyperventilate, Amy drew out her words. “We just had… sex, Celeste ! I don’t think anything you say can talk us out of that!” She stared at the door. “I can’t deal with this…you…right now!”
“ Amy , open the door.”
Trying to regulate her breathing, Amy leaned against the wall closest to the door. “I don’t…want…you here. Okay? There’s…nothing…to say…right now. I can’t—” Amy’s breath came in short gasps, cutting off her words.
Standing outside Amy ’s room, Celeste listened helplessly.
“ Amy . Listen to me, take deep breaths.” Aware that Amy was going into shock, Celeste injected authority into her voice. “I’m happy not to talk just now.” She tried being persuasive. “But I don’t want to leave you like this. It’s clear you’re having an anxiety attack, and I have no idea if you have a history of this or if you have respiratory problems.” Her tone precise, she added, “ Amy , I need to know you are not on any type of medication or suffer from any problems like asthma?”
No response.
Celeste swallowed. Her own anxiety increasing, she tried again. “If you want me to go, I’ll leave. But only once I know you’re going to be okay.”
No response.
Her face pained and voice tight, Celeste leaned further into the door. “ Amy , please. I need to know you’re going to be okay when I leave.”
After a long silence, Amy responded. “No…I don’t have a problem.” Still struggling, she forced out. “I know what to do. I’ll get a bag, and breathe into it.” Celeste heard her suck air in deeply. “I’ll be fine…as soon as you leave.”
Relief washed over Celeste . Leaning her head against the door, she responded gratefully, “Okay. I’m going downstairs to get my things, and then I’ll go.” She stroked the door. “It’ll take me just a few minutes, I promise.”
“Just go…please.”
Pushing off the door, Celeste made her way to the room she would have slept in. In the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed, holding her head, wondering why the hell she hadn’t seen this coming.
Rubbing her temples, she exhaled slowly and remembered the golf day with Amy . She thought about how aware she was of her, and that something that passed between them when she tucked Amy ’s label away.
Celeste looked at her fingers aware on that day they had tingled for a long time afterward. Shaking her head, she blinked several times understanding she wouldn’t have seen it coming because since Felice’s death she hadn’t been thinking clearly.
Standing, she looked at her watch, she didn’t want to leave Amy , but medical experience told her it was best. Picking up her hair band from the bedside cabinet, she caught her hair and tied it back. Realizing she was barefoot, she picked up her overnight bag, and hurriedly stuffed in items she had removed earlier. She threw it over her shoulder, and quickly made her way to the living room to retrieve her shoes.
On the street, Celeste called a cab. Not wanting Amy to look out the window and see her hanging around, she gave an address two blocks down. Walking, her thoughts turned for the first time to Josh.
“Josh!”
Celeste ’s hands covered her mouth. Stricken to the core, her heart thudded hard against her rib cage. Tonight’s events would directly
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