about him and this power he has over you.”
Kionee wondered how—with only simple words as a tool—she could describe such a potent force like Stalking Wolf. How could she explain this irresistible attraction to him? Yet, she must try. “Since we met, he steals into my thoughts when I am awake and he enters my dreams when I sleep. I am drawn to him as a bear to honey or as our people to the sacred mountain. I feel a strong and strange bond to him.”
“You must forget him, Kionee, or you will be tormented by reckless longings for what can never be. Our people do not join outside our tribe; it numbers only thirty-two stones over a thousand, but we keep the Hanueva alive and pure with laws to ban joining with outsiders and no joining between close kin. If we mix our seeds with others, one sun there will be no Hanuevabloodline. If one is allowed to break that law, others will be tempted to do so. If outsiders are allowed to join us, they will bring trouble and changes, and expose our tiva secret. You must make this new sacrifice for the good of Kionee, your family, and our people. Drive him from your head and heart.”
“That is like telling a river to stop flowing, or snow to cease falling in the cold season, or the sun to never rise again, or the wind to stop blowing. I yearn to see him, to touch him, to feel his embrace and kiss. But you must not worry or fear, Regim, for our paths will never cross again. We do not camp or hunt in the same areas. Tivas do not visit trading camps, for we must always stay apart from others to guard the truth, as you well know.”
“Pray your feet and his never walk the same trail and your eyes never meet again,” Regim still warned. “He is forbidden to you, and punishment for breaking our law is harsh. Even with your great skills and courage, you would not survive it.”
Regim clasped Kionee’s cold hands in hers. “I love you as my own child and I have helped train you since you were five summers. I beg you: let me help protect you and guide you away from this evil magic. Do not break your vows. Do not dishonor yourself and your family. Do not bring down Atah ’s anger upon you and us. See this as a test, a challenge; and win it with wits and courage and strength. When we go to the sacred wheel after the buffalo hunt, make offerings to Atah for forgiveness and seek His help in walking the path He cleared for you. If you must step from it, do so either with Night Walker or another Hanueva of high rank and skills.”
How so, Kionee wondered, when no Hanueva stirred her blood, enflamed her body, and enticed her to think of defying her vow as Stalking Wolf did? “Who made such laws, Regim? Why must we pretend to be what weare not? Why does the Creator allow us to have such feelings and thoughts if they are wrong? Does that not seem cruel?”
“It has been the way of our people since before we can remember,” Regim reminded her. “There are many things we do not know or understand, but still must obey. We must not question or doubt the will of the Creator and High Guardian.”
“With every tiva family circle that closes because she leaves no children behind to continue it, our tribe grows smaller and becomes more vulnerable to enemies,” Kionee argued. “It would help our tribe be larger and stronger if tivas were allowed to join and bear those needed children, who will bear other children, so our people will not cease to exist one season under the evil hands of attackers.” She raised pleading eyes to search Regim’s face. “Have you never experienced love and desire for a male? Do you not understand how these emotions make me feel?”
“Yes,” she answered quickly, “but I cut them from my heart and mind, for it could not be. You must do the same. In time, such forbidden and dangerous feelings will vanish and the joy in your rank will return.”
“Do they ever leave, Regim? Will it return, my Tiva-Chu and friend?”
“Yes, Kionee, my loved one, if you do not
Kionee wondered how—with only simple words as a tool—she could describe such a potent force like Stalking Wolf. How could she explain this irresistible attraction to him? Yet, she must try. “Since we met, he steals into my thoughts when I am awake and he enters my dreams when I sleep. I am drawn to him as a bear to honey or as our people to the sacred mountain. I feel a strong and strange bond to him.”
“You must forget him, Kionee, or you will be tormented by reckless longings for what can never be. Our people do not join outside our tribe; it numbers only thirty-two stones over a thousand, but we keep the Hanueva alive and pure with laws to ban joining with outsiders and no joining between close kin. If we mix our seeds with others, one sun there will be no Hanuevabloodline. If one is allowed to break that law, others will be tempted to do so. If outsiders are allowed to join us, they will bring trouble and changes, and expose our tiva secret. You must make this new sacrifice for the good of Kionee, your family, and our people. Drive him from your head and heart.”
“That is like telling a river to stop flowing, or snow to cease falling in the cold season, or the sun to never rise again, or the wind to stop blowing. I yearn to see him, to touch him, to feel his embrace and kiss. But you must not worry or fear, Regim, for our paths will never cross again. We do not camp or hunt in the same areas. Tivas do not visit trading camps, for we must always stay apart from others to guard the truth, as you well know.”
“Pray your feet and his never walk the same trail and your eyes never meet again,” Regim still warned. “He is forbidden to you, and punishment for breaking our law is harsh. Even with your great skills and courage, you would not survive it.”
Regim clasped Kionee’s cold hands in hers. “I love you as my own child and I have helped train you since you were five summers. I beg you: let me help protect you and guide you away from this evil magic. Do not break your vows. Do not dishonor yourself and your family. Do not bring down Atah ’s anger upon you and us. See this as a test, a challenge; and win it with wits and courage and strength. When we go to the sacred wheel after the buffalo hunt, make offerings to Atah for forgiveness and seek His help in walking the path He cleared for you. If you must step from it, do so either with Night Walker or another Hanueva of high rank and skills.”
How so, Kionee wondered, when no Hanueva stirred her blood, enflamed her body, and enticed her to think of defying her vow as Stalking Wolf did? “Who made such laws, Regim? Why must we pretend to be what weare not? Why does the Creator allow us to have such feelings and thoughts if they are wrong? Does that not seem cruel?”
“It has been the way of our people since before we can remember,” Regim reminded her. “There are many things we do not know or understand, but still must obey. We must not question or doubt the will of the Creator and High Guardian.”
“With every tiva family circle that closes because she leaves no children behind to continue it, our tribe grows smaller and becomes more vulnerable to enemies,” Kionee argued. “It would help our tribe be larger and stronger if tivas were allowed to join and bear those needed children, who will bear other children, so our people will not cease to exist one season under the evil hands of attackers.” She raised pleading eyes to search Regim’s face. “Have you never experienced love and desire for a male? Do you not understand how these emotions make me feel?”
“Yes,” she answered quickly, “but I cut them from my heart and mind, for it could not be. You must do the same. In time, such forbidden and dangerous feelings will vanish and the joy in your rank will return.”
“Do they ever leave, Regim? Will it return, my Tiva-Chu and friend?”
“Yes, Kionee, my loved one, if you do not
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