and didn't know anything about computers.
I had to face what can only be described as a tirade from PMT, who is now acting head of CDT. (Education is full of TLAs- three letter abbreviations). He was irate at the fact he had to cover for English teachers "poncing around" on a drama course. I resorted to the defence of agreeing with him and asking him what he suggested I do - refuse to go, insist on teaching? It would mean a disciplinary at least and I am already in enough trouble with the lovely Olive as it is.
This would have mollified any sane person but I was dealing with PMT. He just went on repeating his point until I ran out of answers. I suppose the trouble is that English teachers don't like repeating themselves whereas CDT teachers do little else.
Masturbation. That is what Amanda wanted to talk to me about in the bar of Ruskin House after the NUT meeting. She has a voice which carries so well I thought for a while she might be a PE teacher.
In fact she teaches Maths but it was masturbation she wanted me to teach her about. I had to keep talking because as long as I was talking she wasn't and the whole bar didn't necessarily want to know what we were talking about.
Amanda has some techniques of masturbation which are frankly alarming and involve the corner of a table. (at least I assume she was talking from personal experience!) I came very close to some personal revelations when I talked to her about vibrators.
"VIBRATORS. HOW INTERESTING. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY DO WITH THEM THEN?" She asked in a voice which was probably not as loud as it seemed but turned enough heads anyway.
It turned out that she didn't know anything about vibrators. By next month I may well have found another religion for her: the cult of St Victor.
Among other things, she wanted to know whether it was wrong. Why ask me? I do not know what is wrong for committed Christians and the Bible is strangely silent on female masturbation - we know all about poor old Onan pouring his seed on the ground but that is about it.
I explained that it wasn't wrong for atheists but I think her conversion may be a little more complicated than that.
She then started talking about lesbianism: "What do they do?"
Friday 11th March
Nigel produced the following piece of dialogue in an essay entitles "A funny thing happened ...":
Hey, you with the two broken arms, are you a Poll Tax collector?"
"Yes I am a Poll Tax Collector, but I don't have two broken aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
Not bad for a seventh year, but Oz would have a fit, thinking I'd brainwashed the child.
I confiscated a computer game from one of my pupils and out of curiosity I ran it on the Dell at home. It aroused James' interest but what I want to know is: if they play strip poker with their computers what do they do with their girlfriends?
Saturday 12th March
Shopping for a wedding present for George and Edie. Decisions, decisions. Should it be something decorative and impractical (like George) or sturdily unattractive but utilitarian?
I had explored every inch of two department stores before I decided on a toaster designed to look like a toaster. James said this was unimaginative and trite - and therefore entirely suitable.
We could have had wedding presents like this if we had actually told our families we were getting married.
James said we could buy our own toasters.
Sunday 13th March
Judo display at the Parish Hall. I attended in order to watch, then it turned out that one of the display team had a broken ankle and please could I ...
The long and the short of it is that I did, in a borrowed judoji which was too large for me and had not been very carefully washed. It wouldn't have been too bad if our enthusiastic Sensei hadn't decided that we should demonstrate breakfalls by doing cartwheels.
Why?
Does it make any kind of sense to the audience? Do they think that being thrown in randori is in any way like performing an inaccurate cartwheel? Would this encourage them to join the
I had to face what can only be described as a tirade from PMT, who is now acting head of CDT. (Education is full of TLAs- three letter abbreviations). He was irate at the fact he had to cover for English teachers "poncing around" on a drama course. I resorted to the defence of agreeing with him and asking him what he suggested I do - refuse to go, insist on teaching? It would mean a disciplinary at least and I am already in enough trouble with the lovely Olive as it is.
This would have mollified any sane person but I was dealing with PMT. He just went on repeating his point until I ran out of answers. I suppose the trouble is that English teachers don't like repeating themselves whereas CDT teachers do little else.
Masturbation. That is what Amanda wanted to talk to me about in the bar of Ruskin House after the NUT meeting. She has a voice which carries so well I thought for a while she might be a PE teacher.
In fact she teaches Maths but it was masturbation she wanted me to teach her about. I had to keep talking because as long as I was talking she wasn't and the whole bar didn't necessarily want to know what we were talking about.
Amanda has some techniques of masturbation which are frankly alarming and involve the corner of a table. (at least I assume she was talking from personal experience!) I came very close to some personal revelations when I talked to her about vibrators.
"VIBRATORS. HOW INTERESTING. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY DO WITH THEM THEN?" She asked in a voice which was probably not as loud as it seemed but turned enough heads anyway.
It turned out that she didn't know anything about vibrators. By next month I may well have found another religion for her: the cult of St Victor.
Among other things, she wanted to know whether it was wrong. Why ask me? I do not know what is wrong for committed Christians and the Bible is strangely silent on female masturbation - we know all about poor old Onan pouring his seed on the ground but that is about it.
I explained that it wasn't wrong for atheists but I think her conversion may be a little more complicated than that.
She then started talking about lesbianism: "What do they do?"
Friday 11th March
Nigel produced the following piece of dialogue in an essay entitles "A funny thing happened ...":
Hey, you with the two broken arms, are you a Poll Tax collector?"
"Yes I am a Poll Tax Collector, but I don't have two broken aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
Not bad for a seventh year, but Oz would have a fit, thinking I'd brainwashed the child.
I confiscated a computer game from one of my pupils and out of curiosity I ran it on the Dell at home. It aroused James' interest but what I want to know is: if they play strip poker with their computers what do they do with their girlfriends?
Saturday 12th March
Shopping for a wedding present for George and Edie. Decisions, decisions. Should it be something decorative and impractical (like George) or sturdily unattractive but utilitarian?
I had explored every inch of two department stores before I decided on a toaster designed to look like a toaster. James said this was unimaginative and trite - and therefore entirely suitable.
We could have had wedding presents like this if we had actually told our families we were getting married.
James said we could buy our own toasters.
Sunday 13th March
Judo display at the Parish Hall. I attended in order to watch, then it turned out that one of the display team had a broken ankle and please could I ...
The long and the short of it is that I did, in a borrowed judoji which was too large for me and had not been very carefully washed. It wouldn't have been too bad if our enthusiastic Sensei hadn't decided that we should demonstrate breakfalls by doing cartwheels.
Why?
Does it make any kind of sense to the audience? Do they think that being thrown in randori is in any way like performing an inaccurate cartwheel? Would this encourage them to join the
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