shouldn’t come as a complete shock. Ever eat pizza in the Lion City? Is there gold in the dough? The bill will come as a shock especially if you’re from Italy, where pizza is still an affordable option for a night out with friends.
Do try snorkelling. Just not with your mother.
If someone tells you they are not really a snorkelling person, believe them. What with the curly hair, the glasses, the bad attitude… it’s not pretty.
Don’t bring homework. They’ll really expect you to do it.
This one is very important. Never, under any circumstance, bow under pressure and bring homework on your holiday. That wouldn’t really be a holiday now, would it? And, just because it’s in your suitcase does not mean all hope is gone. There’s still customs… no saying what could get lost there. It’s Nadi airport, not Changi, after all.
Do look for dolphins.
This is your number one dream: to see a dolphin. But just because there are posters all over the resort advertising expensive excursions with the tantalizing promise, “Come meet our dolphins,” does not mean you are going to see one.
Do not expect to see any.
If you do convince your parents to sign up for the expensive excursion, you might spot the official resident resort dolphin. Call me cynical, but I’m pretty sure it was remote-controlled by the manager. You can forget about seeing the schools of dolphins you were led to believe you’d see when signing up.
Do try a fast ride on the banana boat.
Even if you fall in, the Indian Ocean water is warm. Be adventurous. You only live once. When do you think you’ll be back to the Maldives? At these prices? Never.
Don’t get lost.
What’s the only thing worse than getting lost on a sun-drenched island in the middle of the day? Your little sister getting lost. Who do you think they are going to blame? Is it your fault she got bored of watching you play pool? There was only so much origami you could do at that kids’ club.
Signs you’re at a hair salon in Singapore
They offer you a cup of hot water.
It’s only 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade outside… who wouldn’t want a refreshing cup of
hot
water? Anybody hear of iced tea?
Marie Claire is in Chinese.
It is pretty safe to say that when all the magazines at a hair salon are in Chinese, you are probably in a Chinese hair salon. When the stylist points to a random Western personality (Beyonce, Katy Perry, Adele) and then points to you, you may not be sure how to respond. “What? We’re all singers? We’re all Western? We all straighten our hair…?
What is it?
” Don’t expect an answer. Just a smile, like “You know.”
You’re the client with the most challenging hair.
No, it’s not your imagination. It really is a look of dread filling the eyes of all the hairdressers at the salon when you walk in the door. Who will be the lucky stylist assigned to you? And, yes, it is because you have curly, frizzy, totally unmanageable hair by their standards – let’s be honest – by
any
standards. The fact that you say, “Straight, please,” does not make you any more endearing.
You can’t understand any of the gossip.
Bring a book because you’re not going to be hearing any of the juicy details about the latest Singaporean pop star, footballer, or for that matter, the client who just walked out of the salon. Just when you thought you were getting on fine living in Singapore without speaking Chinese, you had to ruin it all by getting your hair done.
You bring in your reluctant son who studies Mandarin, so he can tell you if they’re talking about you. They are.
There is a possible solution to the language barrier. Your son. The obvious disadvantage being that you can only get your hair done on school holidays. But if that’s what it takes to know whether the stylist is making fun of you or not… it’s totally worth it.
It’s freezing.
You think you don’t need to bring a sweater since there will be hot air from the hair-dryer directed at
Do try snorkelling. Just not with your mother.
If someone tells you they are not really a snorkelling person, believe them. What with the curly hair, the glasses, the bad attitude… it’s not pretty.
Don’t bring homework. They’ll really expect you to do it.
This one is very important. Never, under any circumstance, bow under pressure and bring homework on your holiday. That wouldn’t really be a holiday now, would it? And, just because it’s in your suitcase does not mean all hope is gone. There’s still customs… no saying what could get lost there. It’s Nadi airport, not Changi, after all.
Do look for dolphins.
This is your number one dream: to see a dolphin. But just because there are posters all over the resort advertising expensive excursions with the tantalizing promise, “Come meet our dolphins,” does not mean you are going to see one.
Do not expect to see any.
If you do convince your parents to sign up for the expensive excursion, you might spot the official resident resort dolphin. Call me cynical, but I’m pretty sure it was remote-controlled by the manager. You can forget about seeing the schools of dolphins you were led to believe you’d see when signing up.
Do try a fast ride on the banana boat.
Even if you fall in, the Indian Ocean water is warm. Be adventurous. You only live once. When do you think you’ll be back to the Maldives? At these prices? Never.
Don’t get lost.
What’s the only thing worse than getting lost on a sun-drenched island in the middle of the day? Your little sister getting lost. Who do you think they are going to blame? Is it your fault she got bored of watching you play pool? There was only so much origami you could do at that kids’ club.
Signs you’re at a hair salon in Singapore
They offer you a cup of hot water.
It’s only 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade outside… who wouldn’t want a refreshing cup of
hot
water? Anybody hear of iced tea?
Marie Claire is in Chinese.
It is pretty safe to say that when all the magazines at a hair salon are in Chinese, you are probably in a Chinese hair salon. When the stylist points to a random Western personality (Beyonce, Katy Perry, Adele) and then points to you, you may not be sure how to respond. “What? We’re all singers? We’re all Western? We all straighten our hair…?
What is it?
” Don’t expect an answer. Just a smile, like “You know.”
You’re the client with the most challenging hair.
No, it’s not your imagination. It really is a look of dread filling the eyes of all the hairdressers at the salon when you walk in the door. Who will be the lucky stylist assigned to you? And, yes, it is because you have curly, frizzy, totally unmanageable hair by their standards – let’s be honest – by
any
standards. The fact that you say, “Straight, please,” does not make you any more endearing.
You can’t understand any of the gossip.
Bring a book because you’re not going to be hearing any of the juicy details about the latest Singaporean pop star, footballer, or for that matter, the client who just walked out of the salon. Just when you thought you were getting on fine living in Singapore without speaking Chinese, you had to ruin it all by getting your hair done.
You bring in your reluctant son who studies Mandarin, so he can tell you if they’re talking about you. They are.
There is a possible solution to the language barrier. Your son. The obvious disadvantage being that you can only get your hair done on school holidays. But if that’s what it takes to know whether the stylist is making fun of you or not… it’s totally worth it.
It’s freezing.
You think you don’t need to bring a sweater since there will be hot air from the hair-dryer directed at
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