Disposition of Remains by Laura T. Emery Page A

been too embarrassed to try. Should I sit cross-legged with thumb and forefinger together while chanting, “ommmmm”? I wasn’t sure. And frankly, I didn’t see the point. I was having a perfectly relaxing time with Wilbur and my book before the other two decided to freak me out with their meditation mumbo-jumbo. I found their version of relaxation to be extremely stressful.
    Misty pulled one of the folding chairs over and instructed me just to sit.
    “I think this will be especially good for you, Stacia. You know, mind over body, and all that.”
    Paul and Wilbur exchanged questioning looks, then Paul winked at me.
    “Her body looked perfectly fine this morning.”
    Misty swatted playfully at Paul.
    “Don’t pay any attention to him, Stacia,” Misty said as she kneeled down in front of me. She then took my hands in hers and whispered, “This will help you, honey; you just have to believe.”
    At that point, I didn’t know what to think. Was I really supposed to agree that I was going to meditate my cancer away? I was so confused, and by the looks on the men’s faces, so were they. I was glad to prolong the mystery. Then, I considered, what the hell did I have to lose?
    “Alright then—bring it on,” I instructed Misty as I squirmed uncomfortably in my chair.
    “First things first,” Misty began. “Keep your back as straight as you can, and clear your mind.”
    Back straight and mind clear, I thought. How hard could that be? But, the more I tried to clear my mind, the more it raced with random thoughts. Images of death, of Evan hunting me down, ruminations of guilt for having left Evan without any explanation, ideas about where Michael might be, even a fantasy or two about Wilbur’s naked body. The neurons in my brain were firing at an epic pace. I quickly arrived at the conclusion that I sucked at meditating.
    “Stacia, you’re grimacing. Concentrate on your breathing. Breathe in and out of your nose,” Misty said.
    All right, that made it a little easier. Breathe in; breathe out. Breathe in; breathe out. Breathe in; breathe out. Somewhere in between breaths, I was transcended—filled with a warmth and peacefulness, surrounded by the colors of the rainbow and the calmness of a meadow. The next thing I knew, I was being tickled by what felt like the tentacles of an octopus. I opened my eyes and saw that my three companions were staring at me and giggling.
    “It happened again, didn’t it? I fell asleep?”
    “Your snoring was making it hard for us to meditate,” Misty said.
    “Sorry, I’ve just been really tired lately.”
    “It’s all right; this is a vacation for you, so sleep away. Maybe just do it in the tent so you don’t get a nasty kink in your neck.”
    I followed Misty’s advice. Once inside my tent, it took all of thirty seconds to conk out again. I slept so deeply that when I finally awakened it was dark outside and I felt as though my bladder was about to explode.
    I shot o ut of the tent like a bull chasing a matador.
    “Hey, guys!” I yelped as I did a little dance. “I really have to go to the bathroom, but I don’t want any further encounters with jave-whatevers or bobcats or Gila monsters or any other night crawlers that may be lurking out there hankering for a taste of Native American flesh. Anyone else have to go?”
    Wilbur jumped up laughing, “Javelinas, and I think you’re safe from the rest. But I’d be more than happy to escort you to the facilities.”
    “Whatever,” I said with a smile. I’m sure I appeared delighted, but my brain was screaming, of course, only the hot guy would be available to be my bathroom buddy!!
    I should have just asked Misty, but I saw no reason for modesty at that point. There wasn’t much unexplored territory left on my body.
    As I headed off down the hill, Wilbur grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me back.
    “Let’s go the other way this time, just in case.”
    At that point I didn’t give a rat’s ass which way we went. I was