from him.
I sat up and forced my eyes to his. "I would never do that.
I don't want anyone but you. He's right though. I needed time to think. I needed to talk to someone face to face about this who wouldn't look at me like I was a freak."
His eyes widened. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean for you to feel like—"
75
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I shook my head, cutting him off. "You didn't. You didn't do anything wrong. This is about me." Now the words would come, the ones I'd said to Tony, his advice to me. "I need to get better at asking for what I need from you. I haven't done a very good job of being your Domme."
"Honey, you've been great. I'm sorry I've put you through this." He looked at our hands, where he'd laced his fingers through mine. "We can stop if you want. I understand."
"No." I took a deep breath. "That's not what I want. You enjoy this. And I enjoy making you feel like that. But there's going to be times I need you to be and do things for me, too."
His hopeful eyes met mine and he eagerly nodded.
"Whatever you want, you ask."
"I need to do a better job telling you what I want, of teaching you. I didn't realize that before. I guess I assumed since we were playing this and you asked me to do it that you knew what you wanted and what I wanted." I asked the question. "What do you want out of this?"
His mouth opened, then closed.
That actually made me feel better, that he was as lost as I was.
He shook his head. "I want to have fun."
"Okay, that's a start. Why do you want to be my sub?"
He pursed his lips as he thought about it. I was having a hard time concentrating with what smelled like beef stew calling me to the kitchen, but I wanted this handled. Now.
He finally spoke. "I enjoy doing things for you like this. I enjoy letting go and giving myself to you. I like knowing you have full control over me and trusting you like that."
76
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I didn't know how far he could go. I kept Tony's advice in mind. "I will do that for you, but I need to be honest with you. I wish there were times I could just let go and you would be in charge. At least in the bedroom. There will be times I need you to do that for me, to give me a break. Give me a chance to recharge."
I read the surprise in his eyes. Maybe he hadn't really understood me before, all the times in the past when I'd tried to nudge him into a dominant role.
"What do you want me to do?" he asked. "I'll do it."
I shifted position, sitting in his lap, his strong arms around me, my head on his shoulder. "Sometimes, I need to just be .
I need you strong and taking care of me, not just serving me.
I don't know how to explain the difference."
He nuzzled the back of my neck, making me shiver.
"Okay."
"Not all the time. Sometimes I need to recharge. Tony said it was called 'Dom drop' or something. I don't mean you need to play my Dom, but sometimes I just need you to be my husband. Sometimes I need you to be more than that." I took a deep breath. "I promise I'll do a better job teaching you things so you understand what I want."
"I love you so much." He hugged me tightly and I didn't want to cry, but I did. I sobbed against him, loving this man and knowing I had to find a way to get a handle on this for him. As hard as this was for me, I craved the look of unadulterated joy in his eyes when we played. I enjoyed seeing him looking years younger than he had.
77
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I relished the comments from my friends that he seemed like a changed man, a younger man.
I enjoyed how sexy he made me feel, and that he was practically like a horny teenager with me, when most of my friends were complaining they could barely get their husbands to look at them in bed anymore.
We both were changed.
I could—would—do this. I had to.
I finally quit bawling and we ate. He held my chair for me and served me dinner, smiling when I complemented him on his cooking. He wouldn't let me help him with
I sat up and forced my eyes to his. "I would never do that.
I don't want anyone but you. He's right though. I needed time to think. I needed to talk to someone face to face about this who wouldn't look at me like I was a freak."
His eyes widened. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean for you to feel like—"
75
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I shook my head, cutting him off. "You didn't. You didn't do anything wrong. This is about me." Now the words would come, the ones I'd said to Tony, his advice to me. "I need to get better at asking for what I need from you. I haven't done a very good job of being your Domme."
"Honey, you've been great. I'm sorry I've put you through this." He looked at our hands, where he'd laced his fingers through mine. "We can stop if you want. I understand."
"No." I took a deep breath. "That's not what I want. You enjoy this. And I enjoy making you feel like that. But there's going to be times I need you to be and do things for me, too."
His hopeful eyes met mine and he eagerly nodded.
"Whatever you want, you ask."
"I need to do a better job telling you what I want, of teaching you. I didn't realize that before. I guess I assumed since we were playing this and you asked me to do it that you knew what you wanted and what I wanted." I asked the question. "What do you want out of this?"
His mouth opened, then closed.
That actually made me feel better, that he was as lost as I was.
He shook his head. "I want to have fun."
"Okay, that's a start. Why do you want to be my sub?"
He pursed his lips as he thought about it. I was having a hard time concentrating with what smelled like beef stew calling me to the kitchen, but I wanted this handled. Now.
He finally spoke. "I enjoy doing things for you like this. I enjoy letting go and giving myself to you. I like knowing you have full control over me and trusting you like that."
76
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I didn't know how far he could go. I kept Tony's advice in mind. "I will do that for you, but I need to be honest with you. I wish there were times I could just let go and you would be in charge. At least in the bedroom. There will be times I need you to do that for me, to give me a break. Give me a chance to recharge."
I read the surprise in his eyes. Maybe he hadn't really understood me before, all the times in the past when I'd tried to nudge him into a dominant role.
"What do you want me to do?" he asked. "I'll do it."
I shifted position, sitting in his lap, his strong arms around me, my head on his shoulder. "Sometimes, I need to just be .
I need you strong and taking care of me, not just serving me.
I don't know how to explain the difference."
He nuzzled the back of my neck, making me shiver.
"Okay."
"Not all the time. Sometimes I need to recharge. Tony said it was called 'Dom drop' or something. I don't mean you need to play my Dom, but sometimes I just need you to be my husband. Sometimes I need you to be more than that." I took a deep breath. "I promise I'll do a better job teaching you things so you understand what I want."
"I love you so much." He hugged me tightly and I didn't want to cry, but I did. I sobbed against him, loving this man and knowing I had to find a way to get a handle on this for him. As hard as this was for me, I craved the look of unadulterated joy in his eyes when we played. I enjoyed seeing him looking years younger than he had.
77
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I relished the comments from my friends that he seemed like a changed man, a younger man.
I enjoyed how sexy he made me feel, and that he was practically like a horny teenager with me, when most of my friends were complaining they could barely get their husbands to look at them in bed anymore.
We both were changed.
I could—would—do this. I had to.
I finally quit bawling and we ate. He held my chair for me and served me dinner, smiling when I complemented him on his cooking. He wouldn't let me help him with
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