lost her this round.
Later, as he sat in a pub in which he knew he wouldn’t meet anyone, Tony thought he had to give Mrs Cartwright some credit. If his parents had had a daughter and some bloke had turned up with the news that he’d got her pregnant, his dad would have flattened him. But Alice’s mother had mostly seemed concerned that they made as little mess as possible out of a situation she clearly understood to be catastrophic. They’d agreed to live with her. Or, to be accurate, he had agreed they would live with her, while Alice sat and fumed like a baby next to him. Do you think I want to live in this freak show of a house? he’d wanted to shout at her. I’m doing this for you, everything is for you.
He was going to move in after the wedding, which Clarice wanted to happen as soon as possible. Alice was going to get on to the Register Office the next day. No one, him included, wanted to invite anyone, so it was hardly going to be an organisational task.
‘What about your parents?’ Clarice had asked.
Tony had shaken his head. ‘I don’t talk to them any more. Honestly, there’s no one.’ And the words had sounded so desperate and lonely he’d almost stopped at a phone box on the drive home to call his mum. But he hadn’t because that would mean admitting something to his dad, something he didn’t yet understand, but felt sure he soon would.
Three weeks later Tony woke up on his wedding day and couldn’t tell himself how he’d got there. He even felt nostalgic shutting the door of his pokey room and saying his final goodbyes to his landlady, whom he’d never even liked. Good luck, lad, she’d said as he was walking out of the door and he wanted to cry on her shoulder and ask her what he should do. Not that there were any choices, he knew that.
When he arrived, hot from the bus in his charity shop suit which smelt of death, Alice and Clarice were waiting outside the municipal council building, even though Tony had made sure he was early. Alice looked absurdly beautiful. She was in a white silk dress with flowers in her hair and a tiny bump, which you would never know was a baby, rounding her stomach. His heart lurched involuntarily at the sight of her, at the knowledge that the girl everyone was looking at wanted to be joined to him. He’d never seen the dress before and he wondered if she’d bought it especially for the occasion, which touched him, until he checked the ridiculousness of his thoughts. What bride didn’t buy a dress especially for her wedding?
Tony and Alice stood side by side in a room which was much nicer than he’d feared, despite its fake wood panelling and formulaic flower arrangements. The registrar had to get two members of staff to come in to witness their vows. Clarice stood behind them and Tony could feel her poker straight even though he couldn’t see her. The witnesses smiled at them, probably thinking they were so romantic and young and full of hope. Tony stole a look at Alice and she smiled at him, spots of colour high on her cheeks. He smiled back and took her hand and a flash of what felt like love shot through him. The sun was out and they were going to be fine.
It was only words after all and Tony had said enough words in his life that he didn’t mean. Not that he didn’t mean this. No, it wasn’t that, it was more that it was hard to take completely seriously. Laughter bubbled up inside him, puffing out his cheeks and the registrar nodded at him because she’d no doubt seen many men overcome in the same way. ‘I do’ were hardly even words. Three letters, that was all.
They left the room at the same time as the couple next door, whose room was overflowing with guests, all dressed in their finery. Women in parrot-bright colours tottering on high heels and rosy-cheeked men with flowers in their buttonholes, slapping each other on the back. And a bride and groom with their arms around each other, the woman too fat for her dress which strained at the
Later, as he sat in a pub in which he knew he wouldn’t meet anyone, Tony thought he had to give Mrs Cartwright some credit. If his parents had had a daughter and some bloke had turned up with the news that he’d got her pregnant, his dad would have flattened him. But Alice’s mother had mostly seemed concerned that they made as little mess as possible out of a situation she clearly understood to be catastrophic. They’d agreed to live with her. Or, to be accurate, he had agreed they would live with her, while Alice sat and fumed like a baby next to him. Do you think I want to live in this freak show of a house? he’d wanted to shout at her. I’m doing this for you, everything is for you.
He was going to move in after the wedding, which Clarice wanted to happen as soon as possible. Alice was going to get on to the Register Office the next day. No one, him included, wanted to invite anyone, so it was hardly going to be an organisational task.
‘What about your parents?’ Clarice had asked.
Tony had shaken his head. ‘I don’t talk to them any more. Honestly, there’s no one.’ And the words had sounded so desperate and lonely he’d almost stopped at a phone box on the drive home to call his mum. But he hadn’t because that would mean admitting something to his dad, something he didn’t yet understand, but felt sure he soon would.
Three weeks later Tony woke up on his wedding day and couldn’t tell himself how he’d got there. He even felt nostalgic shutting the door of his pokey room and saying his final goodbyes to his landlady, whom he’d never even liked. Good luck, lad, she’d said as he was walking out of the door and he wanted to cry on her shoulder and ask her what he should do. Not that there were any choices, he knew that.
When he arrived, hot from the bus in his charity shop suit which smelt of death, Alice and Clarice were waiting outside the municipal council building, even though Tony had made sure he was early. Alice looked absurdly beautiful. She was in a white silk dress with flowers in her hair and a tiny bump, which you would never know was a baby, rounding her stomach. His heart lurched involuntarily at the sight of her, at the knowledge that the girl everyone was looking at wanted to be joined to him. He’d never seen the dress before and he wondered if she’d bought it especially for the occasion, which touched him, until he checked the ridiculousness of his thoughts. What bride didn’t buy a dress especially for her wedding?
Tony and Alice stood side by side in a room which was much nicer than he’d feared, despite its fake wood panelling and formulaic flower arrangements. The registrar had to get two members of staff to come in to witness their vows. Clarice stood behind them and Tony could feel her poker straight even though he couldn’t see her. The witnesses smiled at them, probably thinking they were so romantic and young and full of hope. Tony stole a look at Alice and she smiled at him, spots of colour high on her cheeks. He smiled back and took her hand and a flash of what felt like love shot through him. The sun was out and they were going to be fine.
It was only words after all and Tony had said enough words in his life that he didn’t mean. Not that he didn’t mean this. No, it wasn’t that, it was more that it was hard to take completely seriously. Laughter bubbled up inside him, puffing out his cheeks and the registrar nodded at him because she’d no doubt seen many men overcome in the same way. ‘I do’ were hardly even words. Three letters, that was all.
They left the room at the same time as the couple next door, whose room was overflowing with guests, all dressed in their finery. Women in parrot-bright colours tottering on high heels and rosy-cheeked men with flowers in their buttonholes, slapping each other on the back. And a bride and groom with their arms around each other, the woman too fat for her dress which strained at the
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