into vulgar language, but he didn’t comment on it. “The man has been pretty much enslaved for eight years,” he began. “He’s not doing this for us; he’s doing it for himself. He’s doing it to prove to himself that he still has control over his own life.”
“But he doesn’t, does he? This is all part of Bennie’s plan.”
“It is,” Rick admitted. “But Xavier won’t see it, or he doesn’t care. It’s in his hands, whether Bennie likes it or not, and he’s going to savor that feeling if it kills him.”
“Which it very well might,” Alyssa said darkly. She shook her head, pushing away all excuses and defenses of Xavier’s actions. “Well, I don’t give a fuck why he’s doing it. It’s bullshit. I won’t let him.”
Rick gave her an amused grin. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”
“You mean other than the fact that I’ve saved your ass?”
Rick laughed. “Besides that, yeah.” He sobered quickly, his handsome features darkening. “Look, Alyssa. I don’t like this either. In fact, I fucking hate it. But to be honest, even though I will always tell him he’s being an idiot, I really do understand why Xavier is doing what he’s doing. And if I had the chance, I would do the same.”
Alyssa stared at him. “I wish I understood,” she admitted after a few moments of silence. “Really, I do. I would love nothing more than to be able to just get it. But I can’t. I’m trying, and I can’t.”
“That’s a good thing,” Rick said. “It means your past wasn’t as awful.”
Alyssa sighed, feeling the familiar pang that hit her whenever she thought about Xavier’s past. “Sometimes I think it was my fault, you know? What happened to Xavier.”
Rick frowned. “How was that your fault?”
“I was too quick to believe him when he told me he had decided to join the Devil’s Fighters for no particular reason other than the fact that he thought they could offer him a sense of family.” She shook her head at her own stupidity. “I was too quick to let him go.”
Rick smiled gently. “It wasn’t your fault, Alyssa. You were young and in love, of course you felt betrayed.”
Alyssa shrugged. “It’s not an excuse.”
They lapsed into silence then, and once they broke the silence, they moved on to other topics of conversation that, twenty minutes later, Alyssa could not recall for the life of her. Things had gotten blurry. Sounds reached her from far away, as if from underwater and yet extremely loud at the same time. She felt vaguely nauseous.
“Christ, Aly. How many did you have?” someone asked her at some point.
It took her a while to realize that that someone was, in fact, Xavier. He was leaning over her, exchanging what looked to be worried glances with someone over her other shoulder—probably Rick.
Alyssa squinted drunkenly up at him. “What’s it to you?”
“She’s hammered,” another voice said.
It was a female voice, and Alyssa turned her head to discover that Lynn was standing next to Xavier. Unlike him, however, she appeared more amused than concerned.
“Lynn,” Alyssa slurred. “I’m so glad you’re here. Have a drink with me, girlfriend.”
Lynn laughed. Her plump, friendly face swarmed in front of Alyssa’s eyes. “I think you’ve had enough, girlfriend .”
Alyssa scowled. “Not nearly enough.”
“All right,” Xavier said. “That’s it. We’re going home.”
Alyssa batted at his hands, pushing him away more or less effectively. “I’m not going anywhere with you. You’ve betrayed me.”
Xavier sighed heavily. “Aly, come on. Don’t be melodramatic now.”
“Eight years ago, I mean. You betrayed me. You didn’t tell me the truth. I could’ve helped you, but you gave me a pathetic excuse so I couldn’t do anything.” Alyssa stared at him in open, drunken accusation.
“Where is this coming from?” he
“But he doesn’t, does he? This is all part of Bennie’s plan.”
“It is,” Rick admitted. “But Xavier won’t see it, or he doesn’t care. It’s in his hands, whether Bennie likes it or not, and he’s going to savor that feeling if it kills him.”
“Which it very well might,” Alyssa said darkly. She shook her head, pushing away all excuses and defenses of Xavier’s actions. “Well, I don’t give a fuck why he’s doing it. It’s bullshit. I won’t let him.”
Rick gave her an amused grin. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”
“You mean other than the fact that I’ve saved your ass?”
Rick laughed. “Besides that, yeah.” He sobered quickly, his handsome features darkening. “Look, Alyssa. I don’t like this either. In fact, I fucking hate it. But to be honest, even though I will always tell him he’s being an idiot, I really do understand why Xavier is doing what he’s doing. And if I had the chance, I would do the same.”
Alyssa stared at him. “I wish I understood,” she admitted after a few moments of silence. “Really, I do. I would love nothing more than to be able to just get it. But I can’t. I’m trying, and I can’t.”
“That’s a good thing,” Rick said. “It means your past wasn’t as awful.”
Alyssa sighed, feeling the familiar pang that hit her whenever she thought about Xavier’s past. “Sometimes I think it was my fault, you know? What happened to Xavier.”
Rick frowned. “How was that your fault?”
“I was too quick to believe him when he told me he had decided to join the Devil’s Fighters for no particular reason other than the fact that he thought they could offer him a sense of family.” She shook her head at her own stupidity. “I was too quick to let him go.”
Rick smiled gently. “It wasn’t your fault, Alyssa. You were young and in love, of course you felt betrayed.”
Alyssa shrugged. “It’s not an excuse.”
They lapsed into silence then, and once they broke the silence, they moved on to other topics of conversation that, twenty minutes later, Alyssa could not recall for the life of her. Things had gotten blurry. Sounds reached her from far away, as if from underwater and yet extremely loud at the same time. She felt vaguely nauseous.
“Christ, Aly. How many did you have?” someone asked her at some point.
It took her a while to realize that that someone was, in fact, Xavier. He was leaning over her, exchanging what looked to be worried glances with someone over her other shoulder—probably Rick.
Alyssa squinted drunkenly up at him. “What’s it to you?”
“She’s hammered,” another voice said.
It was a female voice, and Alyssa turned her head to discover that Lynn was standing next to Xavier. Unlike him, however, she appeared more amused than concerned.
“Lynn,” Alyssa slurred. “I’m so glad you’re here. Have a drink with me, girlfriend.”
Lynn laughed. Her plump, friendly face swarmed in front of Alyssa’s eyes. “I think you’ve had enough, girlfriend .”
Alyssa scowled. “Not nearly enough.”
“All right,” Xavier said. “That’s it. We’re going home.”
Alyssa batted at his hands, pushing him away more or less effectively. “I’m not going anywhere with you. You’ve betrayed me.”
Xavier sighed heavily. “Aly, come on. Don’t be melodramatic now.”
“Eight years ago, I mean. You betrayed me. You didn’t tell me the truth. I could’ve helped you, but you gave me a pathetic excuse so I couldn’t do anything.” Alyssa stared at him in open, drunken accusation.
“Where is this coming from?” he
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