deliver.”
“When?” he asked. “We’ve been cocking around for four weeks now and I haven’t even got the smell of the paper yet.”
“Two weeks,” I said.
“Now I know you’re crazy. You just sold a photo layout we haven’t even thought through and on top of that not one word of copy has been prepared. Where do you think that’s coming from? Heaven?”
I looked at him and smiled. “In a way. Meanwhile, I got another job for you.”
“What is it?” he asked disgustedly.
“Advertising sales manager.”
“Oh, no. You’re not going to stick me with that. There isn’t a legitimate advertiser that would spend a nickel in our paper.”
“Right on,” I said. “What about illegitimate advertisers? There’s got to be thousands of topless bars, discos and massage parlors that can’t get into the regular papers. We set up a special entertainment section and sell them an eighth of a page at discount rates for seventy-five bucks. I want four pages like that.”
“You’ll never get ’em. Joints like that want out of the papers, not in. They’re afraid of getting busted.”
“Everybody likes to see his name in print. They’ll buy.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“‘I don’t know’ gets you a fifty-dollar raise for dawning intelligence. ‘Can do’ gets you a hundred more on top of that.”
“Can do,” he said with sudden enthusiasm. A moment later he was worried again. “But what about the paper?”
“You do your job, Joe. I’ll do mine.”
CHAPTER 10
“You’re spending a lot of money,” Verita said.
I put down the piece of copy I was checking. “We short?”
“No. But you’ve run the cost of this issue up to eleven thousand dollars already. That’s as much as we’re taking in. If we keep it up, we won’t be making a profit.”
“First issues always cost more. We needed a lot of things. Give me a breakdown.”
She picked up a sheet of paper. “Printer and paper for first issue, seven thousand. We can save a thousand if you don’t use glossy for the cover pages.”
“Glossy is classy. We keep it. Otherwise, we look like every other rag on the racks.”
“Photos, art and layout, twenty-five hundred. Bobby has expensive tastes; he doesn’t have a clue to the value of money.”
“I told him to go first cabin. That’s ninety-five hundred. What’s the rest of it?”
“Salary, expenses, et cetera.”
“Not much we can do about that. People have to get paid.” I lit a cigarette. “What do you think we ought to do?”
“Tighten up on the next issue. Skip the glossy paper and cut Bobby’s budget in half.”
I smiled. “Spoken like a true accountant. I have a better idea. How much do we have in the bank right now?”
“About eighty thousand dollars.”
“Why don’t we grab the money and jump over the border to Mexico? We can live pretty good down there for that.”
She looked to see if I was kidding. I played it straight. “That would be dishonest.”
“So what? We’d have a ball.”
She shook her head seriously. “If I wanted to live down there, I could have gone years ago. But I’m American. I like it here.”
I laughed. “So do I.”
A look of relief came into her eyes. “I was beginning to think you meant it.”
“Look, it’s not so bad,” I said. “Bobby’s shot enough girls to carry us for six issues. He also has the forms worked out for the layout. All we have to do now is slot them in. He doesn’t expect his costs to run over a grand a week from now on.”
“That makes me feel better. What about the glossy?”
“It stays. We’re asking thirty-five cents a copy. That’s a dime more than the other papers and it’s the first thing a customer sees. It’s gotta look like he’s getting more for his money.”
“Okay,” she said. She took an invoice from her folder. “This bill just came in.”
It was from Acme Photo Supplies. Three thousand dollars for cameras and equipment. I tossed it back to her. “Pay
“When?” he asked. “We’ve been cocking around for four weeks now and I haven’t even got the smell of the paper yet.”
“Two weeks,” I said.
“Now I know you’re crazy. You just sold a photo layout we haven’t even thought through and on top of that not one word of copy has been prepared. Where do you think that’s coming from? Heaven?”
I looked at him and smiled. “In a way. Meanwhile, I got another job for you.”
“What is it?” he asked disgustedly.
“Advertising sales manager.”
“Oh, no. You’re not going to stick me with that. There isn’t a legitimate advertiser that would spend a nickel in our paper.”
“Right on,” I said. “What about illegitimate advertisers? There’s got to be thousands of topless bars, discos and massage parlors that can’t get into the regular papers. We set up a special entertainment section and sell them an eighth of a page at discount rates for seventy-five bucks. I want four pages like that.”
“You’ll never get ’em. Joints like that want out of the papers, not in. They’re afraid of getting busted.”
“Everybody likes to see his name in print. They’ll buy.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“‘I don’t know’ gets you a fifty-dollar raise for dawning intelligence. ‘Can do’ gets you a hundred more on top of that.”
“Can do,” he said with sudden enthusiasm. A moment later he was worried again. “But what about the paper?”
“You do your job, Joe. I’ll do mine.”
CHAPTER 10
“You’re spending a lot of money,” Verita said.
I put down the piece of copy I was checking. “We short?”
“No. But you’ve run the cost of this issue up to eleven thousand dollars already. That’s as much as we’re taking in. If we keep it up, we won’t be making a profit.”
“First issues always cost more. We needed a lot of things. Give me a breakdown.”
She picked up a sheet of paper. “Printer and paper for first issue, seven thousand. We can save a thousand if you don’t use glossy for the cover pages.”
“Glossy is classy. We keep it. Otherwise, we look like every other rag on the racks.”
“Photos, art and layout, twenty-five hundred. Bobby has expensive tastes; he doesn’t have a clue to the value of money.”
“I told him to go first cabin. That’s ninety-five hundred. What’s the rest of it?”
“Salary, expenses, et cetera.”
“Not much we can do about that. People have to get paid.” I lit a cigarette. “What do you think we ought to do?”
“Tighten up on the next issue. Skip the glossy paper and cut Bobby’s budget in half.”
I smiled. “Spoken like a true accountant. I have a better idea. How much do we have in the bank right now?”
“About eighty thousand dollars.”
“Why don’t we grab the money and jump over the border to Mexico? We can live pretty good down there for that.”
She looked to see if I was kidding. I played it straight. “That would be dishonest.”
“So what? We’d have a ball.”
She shook her head seriously. “If I wanted to live down there, I could have gone years ago. But I’m American. I like it here.”
I laughed. “So do I.”
A look of relief came into her eyes. “I was beginning to think you meant it.”
“Look, it’s not so bad,” I said. “Bobby’s shot enough girls to carry us for six issues. He also has the forms worked out for the layout. All we have to do now is slot them in. He doesn’t expect his costs to run over a grand a week from now on.”
“That makes me feel better. What about the glossy?”
“It stays. We’re asking thirty-five cents a copy. That’s a dime more than the other papers and it’s the first thing a customer sees. It’s gotta look like he’s getting more for his money.”
“Okay,” she said. She took an invoice from her folder. “This bill just came in.”
It was from Acme Photo Supplies. Three thousand dollars for cameras and equipment. I tossed it back to her. “Pay
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