ride. The spa was exactly what the doctor had ordered. I treated myself to a mud bath, a facial, a body wrap, and a full-body massage. I’d gotten rid of the bush growing over my eyes and had my feet and nails down as well. I walked away feeling like a million bucks in spite of my tacky attire. I couldn’t wait to get home and really unwind.
***
I checked my answering machine as I put away my clothes. There were no new callers who needed or wanted my attention. Sighing, I went into the kitchen to fix myself a drink. I was preparing to take this relaxation mode to the next level.
As usual, Justus was lying in the corner looking as if he’d lost his very best friend. I could relate to him one hundred percent because I was still an emotional wreck. I could not help but to climb back aboard my pity train, feeling unloved and unwanted. In my mind, my life had been regulated to a series of before -and- after events.
Before Randy had left, there was always someplace to go and something to do. Since he’s been gone, our phone hardly ever rang unless it was someone selling something. I’d come to realization that most of our friends were really his. The only friend that I had was Kenya. This reality depressed the hell out of me, making me feel alone and frightened. I didn’t even have the comforting arms of a parent to fall back on since both my parents had passed. My father was killed in a car accident when I was in my final year of high school, and my mother died of breast cancer shortly after that. I’d met Randy in my freshman year of college and he’d grown to become my friend and eventually my family.
“ Girl, stop being so damn melodramatic and shit,” I chastised myself. I didn’t need fair-weather friends anyway. I grabbed a bottle of wine, a chilled glass from the refrigerator, and took them to the bathroom. I turned on a light jazz radio station on the wall-mounted stereo and poured a liberal amount of bubble bath into our Jacuzzi.
I grabbed my robe from the foot of the bed and began to take off my clothes. For a few seconds, I debated on whether to throw them away or not. I decided to keep them as a reminder of my last day as a married woman. I slipped into the warm water.
“ Ahh, now that’s what I’m talking ’bout.”
The wine immediately went to my head. It was probably because I had forgotten to eat. This, however, didn’t stop me from draining my glass and filling it again. I was so lonely. I was not used to spending so many nights with myself. I vowed to change the “loneliness” as soon as I had the trusty divorce papers in my hand.
My thoughts drifted to Randy.
I wondered who he was spending his time with. With the divorce pending, I assumed Randy would try to get something on me so he could at least get possession of his stupid dogs. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve called an escort service and ordered one of their super-sized maintenance men. I laughed at the thought and allowed myself to slip farther into the tub, trying to erase the loneliness from my mind.
As I lathered up my wash cloth, my hand glided over my breast. I briefly squeeze it, but this only irritated me. I missed the touch of a man, and I wanted nothing more than to be dicked down proper. I envisioned myself jammed up against the wall giving as much as I was receiving, grinding my ass against a hot piece of burning flesh. Oh how I’d missed those feeling.
I finished my bath and climbed out of the tub frustrated. That celibacy thing was overrated and for the fucking birds. I can’t see how women do this for years. It’s been so long since I’ve been fucked, I feel like I can bite through raw steel. As soon as I march my happy ass out of that courtroom, I’m finding me a hard dick. God didn’t intend for me to live my life this way .
Over in the corner, Justus was resting his head on his paws. I never had a dog before so I didn’t know what, if anything, I should’ve been doing to keep him company. Once I
***
I checked my answering machine as I put away my clothes. There were no new callers who needed or wanted my attention. Sighing, I went into the kitchen to fix myself a drink. I was preparing to take this relaxation mode to the next level.
As usual, Justus was lying in the corner looking as if he’d lost his very best friend. I could relate to him one hundred percent because I was still an emotional wreck. I could not help but to climb back aboard my pity train, feeling unloved and unwanted. In my mind, my life had been regulated to a series of before -and- after events.
Before Randy had left, there was always someplace to go and something to do. Since he’s been gone, our phone hardly ever rang unless it was someone selling something. I’d come to realization that most of our friends were really his. The only friend that I had was Kenya. This reality depressed the hell out of me, making me feel alone and frightened. I didn’t even have the comforting arms of a parent to fall back on since both my parents had passed. My father was killed in a car accident when I was in my final year of high school, and my mother died of breast cancer shortly after that. I’d met Randy in my freshman year of college and he’d grown to become my friend and eventually my family.
“ Girl, stop being so damn melodramatic and shit,” I chastised myself. I didn’t need fair-weather friends anyway. I grabbed a bottle of wine, a chilled glass from the refrigerator, and took them to the bathroom. I turned on a light jazz radio station on the wall-mounted stereo and poured a liberal amount of bubble bath into our Jacuzzi.
I grabbed my robe from the foot of the bed and began to take off my clothes. For a few seconds, I debated on whether to throw them away or not. I decided to keep them as a reminder of my last day as a married woman. I slipped into the warm water.
“ Ahh, now that’s what I’m talking ’bout.”
The wine immediately went to my head. It was probably because I had forgotten to eat. This, however, didn’t stop me from draining my glass and filling it again. I was so lonely. I was not used to spending so many nights with myself. I vowed to change the “loneliness” as soon as I had the trusty divorce papers in my hand.
My thoughts drifted to Randy.
I wondered who he was spending his time with. With the divorce pending, I assumed Randy would try to get something on me so he could at least get possession of his stupid dogs. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve called an escort service and ordered one of their super-sized maintenance men. I laughed at the thought and allowed myself to slip farther into the tub, trying to erase the loneliness from my mind.
As I lathered up my wash cloth, my hand glided over my breast. I briefly squeeze it, but this only irritated me. I missed the touch of a man, and I wanted nothing more than to be dicked down proper. I envisioned myself jammed up against the wall giving as much as I was receiving, grinding my ass against a hot piece of burning flesh. Oh how I’d missed those feeling.
I finished my bath and climbed out of the tub frustrated. That celibacy thing was overrated and for the fucking birds. I can’t see how women do this for years. It’s been so long since I’ve been fucked, I feel like I can bite through raw steel. As soon as I march my happy ass out of that courtroom, I’m finding me a hard dick. God didn’t intend for me to live my life this way .
Over in the corner, Justus was resting his head on his paws. I never had a dog before so I didn’t know what, if anything, I should’ve been doing to keep him company. Once I
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