before and I had never felt like this before. My face even reddened.
I was staring at myself so long and so intently. I didn't hear my mother come into the bathroom and had no idea how long she was standing there.
"Oh. God," she said. She whimpered like a puppy and I immediately stopped touching myself, but it was too late because she began to cry again.
I started to cry, too.
She quickly embraced me. "It's all right, Jordan. It's not wrong for you to be curious about yourself. I was as well when I was growing up. I just can't fathom...can't get myself to accept it so quickly in relation to you. But don't worry. Dr. Dell'Acqua will help us."
"Okay," I said.
She didn't know it, but if Dr. Dell'Acqua was unable to help us. Ian surely would.
5 Whispers on the Stairs
.
Mama rushed me along to get dressed. She seemed to have a need to be as busy as she could. Maybe it kept her from crying. Even though she had stopped at Ian's room to knock on his door and tell him to come down to dinner, he was late again. Grandmother Emma was furious, not only because of Ian, but because Daddy had not come home for dinner either and it was the third night this week,
"Why isn't he coming home this time?" she asked Mama.
"You'll have to ask him. I'm tired of making excuses for him."
"Excuses for him? When a man doesn't come home for dinner as often as Christopher doesn't," she told my mother, "something is sick in his marriage."
Mama stared at her. I could set something very explosive building in her fact. Her cheeks had turned the shade of crimson like cheeks turn when someone is in a very hot room. Her eyes tightened and it looked like she had stopped breathing. I glanced at
Grandmother Emma and saw that even she was a little frightened by my mother's reaction. She had no idea how much flammable tension and sorrow was swirling about in my mother's heart, otherwise she might not have been so quick to snap a spark in her fact. Mama's shoulders rose slowly, as if her whole body was being pumped with air like a party balloon.
'Did it ever, ever occur to you, even for a moment. Emma, that Christopher might be finding something sick in this house and not in his marriage?'" she began, speaking in a rather controlled, calm voice, which surprised me.
Suddenly, she brought her fist down on the table and the plates and glasses jumped like animations that had just been brought to life.
"Did it ever occur to you that your constant needling might be destroying all of us!" she screamed.
I had never seen Grandmother Emma back away from an argument with Mama as quickly, but this time she just calmly set down her napkin and rose.
"I will not take my dinner with such insolence and primitive behavior," she said, turned, and started out.
Nancy had just entered with the platter of sliced filet mignon.
"Bring my dinner to my office. I have lost my appetite in here," Grandmother Emma told her, and continued to walk out of the dining room.
Nancy stood there gaping at us.
Mama looked stunned herself at what she had accomplished: driven Grandmother Emma out of her own dining room.
"I guess I'll never hear the end of this one," Mama muttered. She looked at Nancy. "Well, you can serve us here, Nancy. I haven't lost my appetite."
Just as Nancy brought the platter to the table. Ian entered, oblivious to everything as usual. However, he immediately noticed Grandmother Emma was not with us.
"What, she sick?" he asked, nodding at the empty chair and sitting.
Mama sucked in her breath and brought her hands to her head, resting her elbows on the table.
Ian looked at me for an answer. I didn't know what to say or how to begin to describe what had just happened.
"Just eat your dinner, Ian," Mama finally said, lifting her face away from her hands.
Ian shrugged and began to serve himself. Mania looked at me and I started to eat as well. We said little to each other. It was as though Grandmother Emma was still sitting there glaring at us. I saw that Ian suspected Grandmother Emma had
I was staring at myself so long and so intently. I didn't hear my mother come into the bathroom and had no idea how long she was standing there.
"Oh. God," she said. She whimpered like a puppy and I immediately stopped touching myself, but it was too late because she began to cry again.
I started to cry, too.
She quickly embraced me. "It's all right, Jordan. It's not wrong for you to be curious about yourself. I was as well when I was growing up. I just can't fathom...can't get myself to accept it so quickly in relation to you. But don't worry. Dr. Dell'Acqua will help us."
"Okay," I said.
She didn't know it, but if Dr. Dell'Acqua was unable to help us. Ian surely would.
5 Whispers on the Stairs
.
Mama rushed me along to get dressed. She seemed to have a need to be as busy as she could. Maybe it kept her from crying. Even though she had stopped at Ian's room to knock on his door and tell him to come down to dinner, he was late again. Grandmother Emma was furious, not only because of Ian, but because Daddy had not come home for dinner either and it was the third night this week,
"Why isn't he coming home this time?" she asked Mama.
"You'll have to ask him. I'm tired of making excuses for him."
"Excuses for him? When a man doesn't come home for dinner as often as Christopher doesn't," she told my mother, "something is sick in his marriage."
Mama stared at her. I could set something very explosive building in her fact. Her cheeks had turned the shade of crimson like cheeks turn when someone is in a very hot room. Her eyes tightened and it looked like she had stopped breathing. I glanced at
Grandmother Emma and saw that even she was a little frightened by my mother's reaction. She had no idea how much flammable tension and sorrow was swirling about in my mother's heart, otherwise she might not have been so quick to snap a spark in her fact. Mama's shoulders rose slowly, as if her whole body was being pumped with air like a party balloon.
'Did it ever, ever occur to you, even for a moment. Emma, that Christopher might be finding something sick in this house and not in his marriage?'" she began, speaking in a rather controlled, calm voice, which surprised me.
Suddenly, she brought her fist down on the table and the plates and glasses jumped like animations that had just been brought to life.
"Did it ever occur to you that your constant needling might be destroying all of us!" she screamed.
I had never seen Grandmother Emma back away from an argument with Mama as quickly, but this time she just calmly set down her napkin and rose.
"I will not take my dinner with such insolence and primitive behavior," she said, turned, and started out.
Nancy had just entered with the platter of sliced filet mignon.
"Bring my dinner to my office. I have lost my appetite in here," Grandmother Emma told her, and continued to walk out of the dining room.
Nancy stood there gaping at us.
Mama looked stunned herself at what she had accomplished: driven Grandmother Emma out of her own dining room.
"I guess I'll never hear the end of this one," Mama muttered. She looked at Nancy. "Well, you can serve us here, Nancy. I haven't lost my appetite."
Just as Nancy brought the platter to the table. Ian entered, oblivious to everything as usual. However, he immediately noticed Grandmother Emma was not with us.
"What, she sick?" he asked, nodding at the empty chair and sitting.
Mama sucked in her breath and brought her hands to her head, resting her elbows on the table.
Ian looked at me for an answer. I didn't know what to say or how to begin to describe what had just happened.
"Just eat your dinner, Ian," Mama finally said, lifting her face away from her hands.
Ian shrugged and began to serve himself. Mania looked at me and I started to eat as well. We said little to each other. It was as though Grandmother Emma was still sitting there glaring at us. I saw that Ian suspected Grandmother Emma had
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