also ideas to make things work better.
“We need to talk,” Issib said.
Nafai nodded.
“I keep having these dreams.”
“The Oversoul,” said Nafai. “I know, I have them too.”
“Not the same ones, Nyef,” said Issib. “I see my oldest boy, Xodhya, as he comes out of the starship—”
“As I see Zhyat—”
“And he looks just like me . Which is silly, because there’s so much of his mother’s face in his, but in my dream, he’s me. Except he’s tall and strong, his arms, his chest—like a god. Like one of those statues around the old orchestra.”
“Of course. The Oversoul is just manipulating you, Issib.”
“Yes, I know that,” said Issib. “I was with you when we first withstood him, don’t you remember? We did it together.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
“We proved that we didn’t have to do what the Oversoul wanted, didn’t we, Nafai? But then we decided to help the Oversoul because we wanted to. Because we agreed with what he was trying to accomplish.”
“And as long as I agreed, I’ve cooperated. At great cost, too, I might add.”
“Cost? You? With the cloak of the starmaster?”
“I’d trade the cloak in a minute to know that my brothers loved me.”
“ I love you, Nyef. Have you ever doubted that?”
“No, I didn’t mean—”
“And Okya and Yaya love you. Are they not your brothers? Am I not your brother?”
“All of you are.”
“And I don’t really think you give a rat’s ass whether Meb likes you or not.”
“All right, Elemak. I’d trade the starmaster’s cloak for Elemak’s respect if I thought I could ever have it.”
“Don’t you see, Nyef? You can never have his respect.”
“Because I’ll never be worthy of it.”
“Stupid.” Issib laughed at him. “You are dense, Nafai. You can’t have his respect precisely because you are worthy of it.”
“I always hated paradoxes in school. I think they’re the conclusion that philosophers reach when—”
“When they’ve given up on thinking, I know, it’s not the first time you’ve said it. But this isn’t a paradox. Elemak hates you because you’re his younger brother and he knows, he knows , that you have more of Father’s respect and love than he has. That’s why he hates you, because he knows that in Father’s eyes, you’re a better man than he is.”
“I wish.”
“You know it’s true. But if you gave it all up, if you surrendered everything to Elemak, if you gave up the cloak, if you repudiated the Oversoul, do you think he’d respect you then? Of course not, because then you really would be contemptible. Weak. A nothing.”
“You’ve persuaded me. I’ll keep the cloak.”
“The cloak is nothing. You’re already doing something far worse.”
Nafai regarded him steadily. “Am I to understand that you’re really here trying to persuade me to keep your four oldest children awake during the voyage, teaching them, raising them for you, so that when you awake you’ll find them already grown?”
“Not at all,” said Issib. “I’d hate that.”
“Well, then, what is all this about?”
“Keep them awake, but bring me awake too, sometimes. Once a year for a few weeks. Let me teach all the children computers, for instance. Nobody’s better at that than me.”
“They won’t need computers in the new colony.”
“Mathematics then. Surveying. Triangulation. I can read the same books as you and teach them just like you. Or were you planning on having an agricultural laboratory here? Forestry, perhaps? When were we going to bring the trees aboard?”
“I never thought of that.”
“You mean the Oversoul never thought of that.”
“Whatever.”
“Do it in shifts. Wake Luet up for a while, but then let her sleep again. Wake me, wake Hushidh. Wake Mother and Father. A few weeks at a time. We’ll see the children grow, then. We won’t miss it all. And when we reach Earth, they’ll be men and women. Ready to stand beside you against the
“We need to talk,” Issib said.
Nafai nodded.
“I keep having these dreams.”
“The Oversoul,” said Nafai. “I know, I have them too.”
“Not the same ones, Nyef,” said Issib. “I see my oldest boy, Xodhya, as he comes out of the starship—”
“As I see Zhyat—”
“And he looks just like me . Which is silly, because there’s so much of his mother’s face in his, but in my dream, he’s me. Except he’s tall and strong, his arms, his chest—like a god. Like one of those statues around the old orchestra.”
“Of course. The Oversoul is just manipulating you, Issib.”
“Yes, I know that,” said Issib. “I was with you when we first withstood him, don’t you remember? We did it together.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
“We proved that we didn’t have to do what the Oversoul wanted, didn’t we, Nafai? But then we decided to help the Oversoul because we wanted to. Because we agreed with what he was trying to accomplish.”
“And as long as I agreed, I’ve cooperated. At great cost, too, I might add.”
“Cost? You? With the cloak of the starmaster?”
“I’d trade the cloak in a minute to know that my brothers loved me.”
“ I love you, Nyef. Have you ever doubted that?”
“No, I didn’t mean—”
“And Okya and Yaya love you. Are they not your brothers? Am I not your brother?”
“All of you are.”
“And I don’t really think you give a rat’s ass whether Meb likes you or not.”
“All right, Elemak. I’d trade the starmaster’s cloak for Elemak’s respect if I thought I could ever have it.”
“Don’t you see, Nyef? You can never have his respect.”
“Because I’ll never be worthy of it.”
“Stupid.” Issib laughed at him. “You are dense, Nafai. You can’t have his respect precisely because you are worthy of it.”
“I always hated paradoxes in school. I think they’re the conclusion that philosophers reach when—”
“When they’ve given up on thinking, I know, it’s not the first time you’ve said it. But this isn’t a paradox. Elemak hates you because you’re his younger brother and he knows, he knows , that you have more of Father’s respect and love than he has. That’s why he hates you, because he knows that in Father’s eyes, you’re a better man than he is.”
“I wish.”
“You know it’s true. But if you gave it all up, if you surrendered everything to Elemak, if you gave up the cloak, if you repudiated the Oversoul, do you think he’d respect you then? Of course not, because then you really would be contemptible. Weak. A nothing.”
“You’ve persuaded me. I’ll keep the cloak.”
“The cloak is nothing. You’re already doing something far worse.”
Nafai regarded him steadily. “Am I to understand that you’re really here trying to persuade me to keep your four oldest children awake during the voyage, teaching them, raising them for you, so that when you awake you’ll find them already grown?”
“Not at all,” said Issib. “I’d hate that.”
“Well, then, what is all this about?”
“Keep them awake, but bring me awake too, sometimes. Once a year for a few weeks. Let me teach all the children computers, for instance. Nobody’s better at that than me.”
“They won’t need computers in the new colony.”
“Mathematics then. Surveying. Triangulation. I can read the same books as you and teach them just like you. Or were you planning on having an agricultural laboratory here? Forestry, perhaps? When were we going to bring the trees aboard?”
“I never thought of that.”
“You mean the Oversoul never thought of that.”
“Whatever.”
“Do it in shifts. Wake Luet up for a while, but then let her sleep again. Wake me, wake Hushidh. Wake Mother and Father. A few weeks at a time. We’ll see the children grow, then. We won’t miss it all. And when we reach Earth, they’ll be men and women. Ready to stand beside you against the
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