A coward. A whore. A—
“ Eden.” Doctor Brown's voice broke through her thoughts. He stood with his head bowed. “Eden, there’s nothing I can do. She's been gone too long already.”
“ Noooooooo.” The room started spinning and the years melted away. Horrible memories filled her mind, the same shattering words echoing in her ears.
There's nothing we can do. Your mama is gone. You have to dry those tears and be strong.
The old nightmares rolled through her until her head roared with the past.
Ripping open the door she ran.
She didn't want to be strong. She was nine years old and her mother was dead!
“ Eden!” Sinclair's shout echoed down the street.
No, no, no. She kept running. Tears blinded her. Her chest ach ed as if her heart might explode. Her bad leg started cramping. Could she just keep running? Never stop? Run far enough to forget the past?
“ Eden, damn it, stop.” Sinclair scooped her up mid-step and held her back tightly against his chest. His breath came in pants against her shoulder, his heart thundering against her spine. “Stop. You can't out-run what's happened.”
“ No. Please let me go.” She kicked and squirmed to be free.
“ It's not safe for you to be out here alone.”
“I don't care.” She'd do what she must to survive. Just as she'd always done.
G irls who are alone have to spread their legs for rich old men if they want to have food and a place to live. Now that your mother is gone, you'll have to provide for yourself and your sister.
“ Eden?” His voice pushed the nightmare from her mind. “Let's go back to the saloon. We need to tell Alice what's happened. I'm sure she's worried. The rest of the ladies too. They deserve to hear the news from you. I'll stay while you tell them.” The soothing sounds of his words wrapped around her like a warm blanket. “All right?”
His breath brushed her neck, his hands stro king her waist. Strong. Warm. God, she just wanted to be warm and safe. Protected. Just once. Just for a little while.
“ We’ll go back and have a drink. It’ll help you calm down.”
“ I don't drink.” Her self-control slipped away like the mist if she drank. And she had to hang onto her control.
Slowly he set her on her feet, and turned her to face him. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing down her cheek, his gaze searching hers, silently asked questions she couldn’t answer. If she started talking she might never stop. Too many memories, too much pain burned in her tonight. One word would lead to one explanation, which would lead to her pouring out her entire life for the major to examine and judge. She couldn't bear to see disgust on his face. Not tonight.
She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.
“All right. No whiskey. How about coffee then?”
Eden nodded, no fight left in her.
The safest thing to do would be to send him away. But coffee could be safe too. And tomorrow would be soon enough to be strong. Tonight hurt too much.
S inclair took off his coat and draped it over her bare shoulders. “Here, you're shaking.”
She was. Shaking , and her teeth were rattling near out of her head. She just wanted to stop feeling for awhile. Stop feeling pain. There was too much twisting her heart – to the point she couldn’t breathe.
He pulled her close to his side, sharing his heat. “It’ll be all right. I’m here.” The words fanned the hair at her temple, his lips warm as he spoke. “I’m here.”
Numb, she let him lead her back to Devil's Gate , his large hand holding hers. God forgive her for being weak, but she needed his strength right now.
In silence they walked back to the saloon, around to the back door. Alice waited in the kitchen, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. Eden shook her head, unable to say the words.
“ Oh, saints preserve us!” Alice ran from the room and up the stairs, her sobs drifting down as she told the other girls what had happened. Wails filled the brothel
“ Eden.” Doctor Brown's voice broke through her thoughts. He stood with his head bowed. “Eden, there’s nothing I can do. She's been gone too long already.”
“ Noooooooo.” The room started spinning and the years melted away. Horrible memories filled her mind, the same shattering words echoing in her ears.
There's nothing we can do. Your mama is gone. You have to dry those tears and be strong.
The old nightmares rolled through her until her head roared with the past.
Ripping open the door she ran.
She didn't want to be strong. She was nine years old and her mother was dead!
“ Eden!” Sinclair's shout echoed down the street.
No, no, no. She kept running. Tears blinded her. Her chest ach ed as if her heart might explode. Her bad leg started cramping. Could she just keep running? Never stop? Run far enough to forget the past?
“ Eden, damn it, stop.” Sinclair scooped her up mid-step and held her back tightly against his chest. His breath came in pants against her shoulder, his heart thundering against her spine. “Stop. You can't out-run what's happened.”
“ No. Please let me go.” She kicked and squirmed to be free.
“ It's not safe for you to be out here alone.”
“I don't care.” She'd do what she must to survive. Just as she'd always done.
G irls who are alone have to spread their legs for rich old men if they want to have food and a place to live. Now that your mother is gone, you'll have to provide for yourself and your sister.
“ Eden?” His voice pushed the nightmare from her mind. “Let's go back to the saloon. We need to tell Alice what's happened. I'm sure she's worried. The rest of the ladies too. They deserve to hear the news from you. I'll stay while you tell them.” The soothing sounds of his words wrapped around her like a warm blanket. “All right?”
His breath brushed her neck, his hands stro king her waist. Strong. Warm. God, she just wanted to be warm and safe. Protected. Just once. Just for a little while.
“ We’ll go back and have a drink. It’ll help you calm down.”
“ I don't drink.” Her self-control slipped away like the mist if she drank. And she had to hang onto her control.
Slowly he set her on her feet, and turned her to face him. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing down her cheek, his gaze searching hers, silently asked questions she couldn’t answer. If she started talking she might never stop. Too many memories, too much pain burned in her tonight. One word would lead to one explanation, which would lead to her pouring out her entire life for the major to examine and judge. She couldn't bear to see disgust on his face. Not tonight.
She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.
“All right. No whiskey. How about coffee then?”
Eden nodded, no fight left in her.
The safest thing to do would be to send him away. But coffee could be safe too. And tomorrow would be soon enough to be strong. Tonight hurt too much.
S inclair took off his coat and draped it over her bare shoulders. “Here, you're shaking.”
She was. Shaking , and her teeth were rattling near out of her head. She just wanted to stop feeling for awhile. Stop feeling pain. There was too much twisting her heart – to the point she couldn’t breathe.
He pulled her close to his side, sharing his heat. “It’ll be all right. I’m here.” The words fanned the hair at her temple, his lips warm as he spoke. “I’m here.”
Numb, she let him lead her back to Devil's Gate , his large hand holding hers. God forgive her for being weak, but she needed his strength right now.
In silence they walked back to the saloon, around to the back door. Alice waited in the kitchen, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. Eden shook her head, unable to say the words.
“ Oh, saints preserve us!” Alice ran from the room and up the stairs, her sobs drifting down as she told the other girls what had happened. Wails filled the brothel
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