EllRay Jakes Is Not a Chicken by Sally Warner Page A

her, I guess because she doesn’t want Alfie to be disappointed if Minnie Mouse is on vacation in Cabo or something.
    â€œI’ll meet her, all wight,” Alfie says grimly.
    And for everyone’s sake, I hope Minnie is on the job today.
    â€œWell, let’s keep our fingers crossed,” Dad says, sounding a lot more excited than I thought he would. He’s even wearing a shirt and sweater instead of a tie. “But leave some room, EllRay,” he adds. “Because we’re picking someone else up.”
    â€œWho?” Alfie asks.
    â€œYeah, who?” I ask.
    My dad looks at me over his shoulder and smiles. “It’s a surprise,” he says, speaking mainly to me.
    And it really, really is.

    â€œHey, Jared,” I say a few minutes later, trying to make my voice sound normal as Jared Matthews clambers into the backseat of our car. This leaves me sitting in the middle, exactly where I hate to sit.
    This is like a nightmare come true .
    Jared and I accidentally solve everything all by ourselves, but it’s for nothing? We have that stupid fight, but then they throw us together for a whole entire day?
    I guess the grown-ups don’t know it, but that’s like expecting Jared and me to walk across a bridge that we just built out of white paste and Popsicle sticks.
    We are DOOMED!
    â€œJared, we called your parents on Thursday night to suggest that you join us,” Dad says as Jared buckles himself in. “And they agreed that it was a good way for you and EllRay to get to know each other a little better. Ms. Sanchez thought so, too. But we decided to keep it a secret—from both of you.”
    Okay. They called Jared’s parents on Thursday night— before our big fight on Friday in Eustace B. Pennypacker Memorial Park.
    Of course, the grown-ups haven’t heard about the fight yet, I remind myself. For now, at least, it’s still stealth. All they know is that he might have tripped me once. But the side of Jared’s nose where I accidentally socked him yesterday afternoon is black and blue, I am secretly glad to see.
    â€œHey,” he says to Alfie and me in greeting, not knowing where to look. He touches his sore nose. “I told my folks I fell off my skateboard,” he whispers, before I can even ask.
    In the front seat, Mom opens her purse, pulls out her little lipstick mirror, and peeks back at Jared and me—probably to see if we are silently strangling each other yet.
    So far so good, Mom. Mostly because I’m still in shock.
    â€œWho’s that?” Aflie says, taking her wet thumb out of her mouth and waving it toward Jared with some suspicion.
    â€œOh, sorry. This is Jared Matthews,” I tell her, making the introduction. “He’s in my class at school. This is my little sister Alfleta,” I say to Jared, introducing Alfie politely—just in case Mom and Dad are listening, which I’m sure they are. “It means ‘ beautiful elf, ’” I explain.
    â€œHi,” Jared mumbles to Alfie.
    Alfie scowls. “EllWay told me about you one time,” she says to Jared. “He said you were the meanest boy in his class.”
    â€œ Alfleta ,” Mom scolds from the front seat. “That’s enough. Behave yourself.”
    â€œThat’s okay, Mrs. Jakes,” Jared says. What a kiss-up!
    â€œShe didn’t mean it, Mom,” I fib.
    â€œI did too mean it,” Alfie objects loudly. “EllWay and me decided that boy is just as bad as Suzette.” I can tell that Jared does not like being compared to a girl, but there’s not much he can do about it.
    â€œI thought you and Suzette were friends again,” I say to Alfie.
    â€œOh yeah,” she says, remembering. “But maybe not next week.”
    â€œWell, that’s kind of like Jared and me,” I say, hoping to shut her up. “We’re okay now.”
    Temporarily, at least.
    â€œAll wight,”