ESCANTA: A James Thomas Novel (The James Thomas Series Book 1) by Brooke Sivendra Page B

moments we shared, the love we shared…” He shook his head. “It wasn’t worth it. If someone had told me how it would end, I would never have gotten involved. I would’ve walked away, no matter how hard it would’ve been.” Deacon looked up at the stars.
    “I still think about it too, Deacon. If I could’ve gotten there earlier, I could’ve stopped it all,” James said.
    “I don’t know how you managed to find us at all, let alone get there earlier. Some days I wished you’d gotten there later, after they’d killed me. It’s not right that she was tortured and died because of me, and yet I’m still alive.” Deacon sighed. “If they did that to Nicole, what do you think they would do to your girlfriend? I mean, my past is bad, but yours is worse—much worse. You make me look like a fucking apprentice. It’s not worth the risk, James. I’m begging you, stay away from this girl. She doesn’t deserve it. And neither do you.”
    “I know she doesn’t,” James said quietly, for once wishing his life was different; wishing he could have a normal relationship, wishing he could have a life where he didn’t need to look over his shoulder at every shadow that passed behind him. That was the change in him since Paris—it had made him consider things, wish for things, that he never had in the past.
    “I followed her home, too, from the engagement party,” James said, confessing all of his sins.
    “Fucking hell,” Deacon said, shaking his head.
    “I just wanted to test her security. I drove close enough that they should’ve picked up a tail and they didn’t. And I parked right outside her apartment and they didn’t notice that either.”
    Deacon pulled his lips to one side, mulling it over. “Well, she’s changing firms now so I suppose it doesn’t matter. Did Samuel know this, too? I don’t like the two of you keeping secrets from me.”
    “I didn’t tell Samuel. But you know what he’s like…” James said with a hint of a smile. “I think he’s always spying on us, always keeping tabs. I’m sure he knew I was there but he hasn’t mentioned it to me.”
    Deacon nodded his head, seeming to agree. “If you were to live your life over, would you make the same choices?” he asked.
    “I don’t know, Deacon. I don’t regret choosing to join the army—God only knows where I would’ve ended up without that structure and guidance. But crossing over into the CIA—that wasn’t a good choice. But I’m the perfect recruit, right? An orphan with a Delta Force skill set and no family to leave behind. They made such an enticing offer but I had no idea what I was getting into and what the long-term consequences would be. And Paris…Well, I definitely wouldn’t make the same choices there, but regardless, it’s well and truly done now.”
    “I wouldn’t do it again,” Deacon said. “I would choose another life.”
    His regret hung in the air like a thick smog.
    “Don’t tell me anything about Mak, Deacon. I don’t want to know. But make sure she’s okay, keep an eye on them.”
    Deacon nodded his head and James trusted him. He and Samuel would watch over her security, by whatever means necessary. It was the last he would see of Mak Ashwood because Deacon was right, she didn’t deserve a death like Nicole’s—and that was, without a doubt, what would happen if she were his girlfriend and he couldn’t protect her.
    James heard the rooftop door open and close.
    “Are we all friends again?” Cami said from behind James. She patted him on the shoulder as she sat down beside him.
    Deacon scoffed. “We’re always friends.”
    “Good to hear,” Cami said, sipping on a bottle of water.
    Cami had been absent for the past few days and James didn’t need to ask to know where she’d been. Deacon would’ve assigned her to Mak, and the fact that she was back indicated Mak’s security had been transferred.
    “How are you?” Deacon asked, taking the bottle of water from her hands and