lungful, I was thinking how peaceful BellValley was in contrast to Lane Lavash, where by rights I should be at this moment with my cubicle, computer, and headset, when I saw Vicki striding over from the Red Fox.
“Going incognito today?” she asked, coming down to the grass beside me. I had done right dressing like her. Jeans, sweater, sunglasses—we looked like sisters, which made me feel like I belonged.
I smiled and made a sound of assent. No more was needed with Vicki Bell.
“Did you meet my baker?” she asked.
“No. She wasn’t in the kitchen.”
“Later then.” Removing the sunglasses, she studied my face. “What’re you thinking?”
I felt a catch in my throat. “That I’ve missed you. Seeing you makes me realize how much. Call me disloyal to Kelly, but you were always the sister I would have chosen to have. Even the question you just asked. You always cared what I thought.” In case she was still even the tiniest bit annoyed with me, I added, “We have a history together. That counts for something.”
“Uh-huh. Getting older.” She grew speculative. “Do birthdays bother you?”
Dropping my sunglasses to the grass, I turned my face to the sun. The warmth felt wonderful, cleaner than New York’s, friendlier than Chatham’s. Eyes closed, I considered. “Thirty was something. James thought we should celebrate, only we never had time.” I righted my head. My eyes sought hers. “Is that what this is about? Am I having an early-life crisis?”
Vicki smiled crookedly. “I did. Kind of.”
“You? No way.” Vicki was the most stable person I knew.
“Way. Rob and I grew up together, and I adore him. But I’ve never known anything else. Four years away at college was all. Then it was back here, same guy, same town.”
“Not really,” I reminded her. “You got married. That was big. Then Rob’s parents retired, and you guys took over the inn. The place looks great, Vicki Bell.”
She sputtered a laugh. “Anything would, by comparison. His parents had let things go. And yeah, it’s nice to spruce things up, but that’s not the same as doing something completely, entirely, way-out-there different.” She was pensive for a minute, then resigned. “Each birthday that passes makes me realize it ain’t gonna happen. I went into a blue funk for a little while.”
“Hence, the new baby?”
“Oh no. I didn’t even try to conceive until I was sure I was okay with my life here. Which isn’t to say I don’t sometimes wonder what might have been.”
“It’s the Jude gene,” I remarked, to which she snorted her disagreement.
“Jude was about rebellion.”
“Adventure,” I insisted.
“Emmie, he was a
bad boy
,” she argued, impatient with me now. “Do you honestly think he would have married you? Yes, I know he asked you to, but he had asked three women before you, the last of whom was Jenna Frye, who took it really hard when he dumped her for you, and then he dumped you for
her
. Jude was all about the chase. Commitment terrified him. If you hadn’t come along, he’d have found another way to break up with Jenna, and if she hadn’t loved him enough to forgive him, he’d have found another way to break up with
you.
”
I wanted to argue. But Vicki had known Jude a lot longer than I had. What she said did make sense.
“He’s coming back,” I said quietly.
She frowned, skeptical. “Jude? Here? How do you know?”
“I got a letter from him Friday. He’ll be here at the end of the month.”
Suddenly, she was barely breathing. “Here?
Seriously?
”
“He’s been crab fishing in the Bering Sea.”
“And he just … just wrote you out of the blue?”
“He does it sometimes,” I said, feeling more than a little guilt.
“And you didn’t
tell
us?”
“I assumed you knew where he was. The letter Friday said he hadn’t told anyone else he was coming back, which is why I’m telling you now. For what it’s worth, I’ve never answered his letters.”
But
“Going incognito today?” she asked, coming down to the grass beside me. I had done right dressing like her. Jeans, sweater, sunglasses—we looked like sisters, which made me feel like I belonged.
I smiled and made a sound of assent. No more was needed with Vicki Bell.
“Did you meet my baker?” she asked.
“No. She wasn’t in the kitchen.”
“Later then.” Removing the sunglasses, she studied my face. “What’re you thinking?”
I felt a catch in my throat. “That I’ve missed you. Seeing you makes me realize how much. Call me disloyal to Kelly, but you were always the sister I would have chosen to have. Even the question you just asked. You always cared what I thought.” In case she was still even the tiniest bit annoyed with me, I added, “We have a history together. That counts for something.”
“Uh-huh. Getting older.” She grew speculative. “Do birthdays bother you?”
Dropping my sunglasses to the grass, I turned my face to the sun. The warmth felt wonderful, cleaner than New York’s, friendlier than Chatham’s. Eyes closed, I considered. “Thirty was something. James thought we should celebrate, only we never had time.” I righted my head. My eyes sought hers. “Is that what this is about? Am I having an early-life crisis?”
Vicki smiled crookedly. “I did. Kind of.”
“You? No way.” Vicki was the most stable person I knew.
“Way. Rob and I grew up together, and I adore him. But I’ve never known anything else. Four years away at college was all. Then it was back here, same guy, same town.”
“Not really,” I reminded her. “You got married. That was big. Then Rob’s parents retired, and you guys took over the inn. The place looks great, Vicki Bell.”
She sputtered a laugh. “Anything would, by comparison. His parents had let things go. And yeah, it’s nice to spruce things up, but that’s not the same as doing something completely, entirely, way-out-there different.” She was pensive for a minute, then resigned. “Each birthday that passes makes me realize it ain’t gonna happen. I went into a blue funk for a little while.”
“Hence, the new baby?”
“Oh no. I didn’t even try to conceive until I was sure I was okay with my life here. Which isn’t to say I don’t sometimes wonder what might have been.”
“It’s the Jude gene,” I remarked, to which she snorted her disagreement.
“Jude was about rebellion.”
“Adventure,” I insisted.
“Emmie, he was a
bad boy
,” she argued, impatient with me now. “Do you honestly think he would have married you? Yes, I know he asked you to, but he had asked three women before you, the last of whom was Jenna Frye, who took it really hard when he dumped her for you, and then he dumped you for
her
. Jude was all about the chase. Commitment terrified him. If you hadn’t come along, he’d have found another way to break up with Jenna, and if she hadn’t loved him enough to forgive him, he’d have found another way to break up with
you.
”
I wanted to argue. But Vicki had known Jude a lot longer than I had. What she said did make sense.
“He’s coming back,” I said quietly.
She frowned, skeptical. “Jude? Here? How do you know?”
“I got a letter from him Friday. He’ll be here at the end of the month.”
Suddenly, she was barely breathing. “Here?
Seriously?
”
“He’s been crab fishing in the Bering Sea.”
“And he just … just wrote you out of the blue?”
“He does it sometimes,” I said, feeling more than a little guilt.
“And you didn’t
tell
us?”
“I assumed you knew where he was. The letter Friday said he hadn’t told anyone else he was coming back, which is why I’m telling you now. For what it’s worth, I’ve never answered his letters.”
But
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