talk to. I found out what she was into at the moment, music, films, and books. Apparently she was big on reading and had loads of books back in London. It felt strange, I kept expecting Jas to turn up or I got the feeling I should call her, she should be here meeting our daughter but that was never going to happen, the pain shooting across my chest reminded me of that.
She was telling me about her writing, how she likes to write short stories. Who would have thought Jas and I could produce a girl like Ava? She spoke with certainty in her voice, she knew what she liked and what she didn’t. She came across like she wasn’t angry about her past, maybe she had come to terms with it, like she had said, she hasn’t been hidden away from the truth, that was just me.
Where we go from here I don’t know, I’ll have to speak to my mum, all I do know is I want to get to know my daughter and I don’t want her going back to London.
Once we had both finished our meals, I drove her back to my mums. She had been quiet during the journey, it was an awkward silence now and I didn’t know what to say to ease it.
“You can say no if you’re busy…or just no…Henry said he would come…I have an appointment with Mr Jones tomorrow, would you come with me instead?” she asked nervously.
“Sure I will,” I answered before it dawned on me where I would have to go. The last time I went to his office was the will reading.
“It’s at ten am,” she said.
“That is fine, I’ll pick you up from here. You should go inside, I know my mum will be dying to know how this afternoon went” I smiled.
“Are you not coming in?”
“No, I’ll see her tomorrow morning before we have to leave”
I had to get away and be on my own, talking about Jas, finding out I have a daughter was too much for today. I had to think things through.
“Okay, thank you for today, I appreciate you helping me understand”
She quickly got out of the car and knocked on the door, I waited until my mum let her in before I drove away.
I couldn’t believe I had spent the afternoon with my daughter. All these years I spent partying, drinking too much, only looking out for myself and then Jas for a short while, and along I had a big responsibility growing up without me. What was Jas thinking not telling me, especially in those last moments before she died when she wouldn’t have had any repercussions? I thought I knew everything about her, turns out I didn’t.
Chapter Four
“How are you son? I was worried when you didn’t come in last night”
“I’m fine, I wanted to be on my own to think things through. Is she up?” I asked.
I arrived at my mum’s early so we didn’t have to rush off. I cleared my schedule for the day so I could spend it getting to know Ava some more and offer her support if she needed it after her appointment with Jas’s lawyer.
I was excited, the first time since Jasmine left me. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling happy when she wasn’t here to experience it with me but I still did.
“She hasn’t been down yet but I have heard her moving about”
“How was she when she got in last night?” I asked.
I was worried she would be overwhelmed by all of the different family members wrapped around her at the moment.
“She was very happy, she told me all about your time together. I get the feeling she is here to stay, to get to know us all better”
I could see her happiness flooding out of her at the prospect.
“Good, I want the same. She is very much like Jas, isn’t she” I stated.
It wasn’t a question.
“Listening to her speak is how I would imagine Jasmine would have sounded like if she didn’t have the illness hanging over her”
“I saw the same yesterday” I smiled.
“She is quite nervous about today, she is glad you
She was telling me about her writing, how she likes to write short stories. Who would have thought Jas and I could produce a girl like Ava? She spoke with certainty in her voice, she knew what she liked and what she didn’t. She came across like she wasn’t angry about her past, maybe she had come to terms with it, like she had said, she hasn’t been hidden away from the truth, that was just me.
Where we go from here I don’t know, I’ll have to speak to my mum, all I do know is I want to get to know my daughter and I don’t want her going back to London.
Once we had both finished our meals, I drove her back to my mums. She had been quiet during the journey, it was an awkward silence now and I didn’t know what to say to ease it.
“You can say no if you’re busy…or just no…Henry said he would come…I have an appointment with Mr Jones tomorrow, would you come with me instead?” she asked nervously.
“Sure I will,” I answered before it dawned on me where I would have to go. The last time I went to his office was the will reading.
“It’s at ten am,” she said.
“That is fine, I’ll pick you up from here. You should go inside, I know my mum will be dying to know how this afternoon went” I smiled.
“Are you not coming in?”
“No, I’ll see her tomorrow morning before we have to leave”
I had to get away and be on my own, talking about Jas, finding out I have a daughter was too much for today. I had to think things through.
“Okay, thank you for today, I appreciate you helping me understand”
She quickly got out of the car and knocked on the door, I waited until my mum let her in before I drove away.
I couldn’t believe I had spent the afternoon with my daughter. All these years I spent partying, drinking too much, only looking out for myself and then Jas for a short while, and along I had a big responsibility growing up without me. What was Jas thinking not telling me, especially in those last moments before she died when she wouldn’t have had any repercussions? I thought I knew everything about her, turns out I didn’t.
Chapter Four
“How are you son? I was worried when you didn’t come in last night”
“I’m fine, I wanted to be on my own to think things through. Is she up?” I asked.
I arrived at my mum’s early so we didn’t have to rush off. I cleared my schedule for the day so I could spend it getting to know Ava some more and offer her support if she needed it after her appointment with Jas’s lawyer.
I was excited, the first time since Jasmine left me. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling happy when she wasn’t here to experience it with me but I still did.
“She hasn’t been down yet but I have heard her moving about”
“How was she when she got in last night?” I asked.
I was worried she would be overwhelmed by all of the different family members wrapped around her at the moment.
“She was very happy, she told me all about your time together. I get the feeling she is here to stay, to get to know us all better”
I could see her happiness flooding out of her at the prospect.
“Good, I want the same. She is very much like Jas, isn’t she” I stated.
It wasn’t a question.
“Listening to her speak is how I would imagine Jasmine would have sounded like if she didn’t have the illness hanging over her”
“I saw the same yesterday” I smiled.
“She is quite nervous about today, she is glad you
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