her legs were aching or her parcel was heavy. The late September sun had little power to it and the walk in the fresh air would have been enjoyable under normal circumstances. Small flowers starred the green banks on either side of the dusty lane they came to, blackbirds and starlings squawking and quarrelling over the ripe blackberries covering the hedgerow. It was the sight of the berries that prompted Eve to say, ‘We’ll stop here for a bit. Are you hungry?’
Her sisters nodded warily. It was as though they weren’t sure if hunger were permissible at such a time.
‘We’ll pick some blackberries in a minute, but first’ - Eve plumped down on the grass, putting her parcel behind her and patting the bank either side of her - ‘we have to talk.’
Mary started to cry but she sat down. Eve put her arms round her sister as Nell joined them. ‘Don’t cry, hinny. This isn’t your fault, none of it, understand? It was him. He was wrong to do what he did. I have to understand what happened though, Mary.You must tell me it all, from the beginning. It’s important.’
Eve only had the sketchiest knowledge of the facts of life. Her grandma had already died when she had begun her monthlies and so her father had taken her next door to Mrs McArthur. That good lady had told her enough to comprehend what went on between a man and a woman and that it was vitally important to keep yourself to yourself until you were wed unless you wanted to end up in the workhouse with your belly full. Neither of her sisters had started their monthlies yet though, and Eve had never been so thankful for something in her life. The possibility of Mary’s small child’s body carrying a baby was unthinkable.
By the time Mary had finished speaking, Eve and Nell were sick to their stomachs, but a thin feeling of relief undergirded Eve’s revulsion. Some of the things Josiah had made Mary do to him were nauseating, but as far as she could ascertain he had not tried to violate her apart from once. Returning to this, Eve said gently, ‘When Mr Finnigan put his hand inside your knickers and hurt you, are you sure he didn’t do it again? Or anything else like that to your private place?’
Mary shook her curls. ‘He tried to but I cried and shouted and carried on and said I’d tell, and so he stopped.’
Eve stared at her sister. She felt disconcerted by the matter-of-fact way Mary had spoken and she could tell Nell did too. ‘But he wouldn’t stop doing those other things?’
Mary wriggled. ‘He said I was his special girl and he was nice sometimes. He-he gave me lots of things, sweets, money an’ that. Like Da and the lads did.’
‘But this was different, Mary.You do see that, don’t you? Da and the lads . . .’ She didn’t know how to put it. ‘They didn’t want you to do things that were wrong like Mr Finnigan. They loved you properly. They didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do.’
Mary stared at her, her big blue eyes shaded by their thick lashes. ‘Aye, I know.’
She had to ask. ‘Why didn’t you tell me what was going on, or Nell even? Did you think we’d be cross?’
Again the wriggle. ‘He said it had to be a secret and if I told we wouldn’t be able to stay and we’d be out on the streets. He said no one else would take us on and . . . he wanted to look after me. He said . . .’
‘What? What did he say?’
‘He said he loved me more than Phoebe an’ the bairns.’
‘Oh, hinny, hinny.’ Eve pulled Mary into her and hugged her fiercely.
The three girls spent that first night curled up together on a bed of bracken and moss in a sheltered spot under the thick hedgerow, wrapped in their blankets. Although the day had been mild it had become bitterly cold in the early hours, and Eve had awoken long before dawn. She lay stiffly in the darkness, trying to control her shivering so as not to wake her sisters.
She and Nell must find work soon. Somewhere far away from Stanley where no one would
Her sisters nodded warily. It was as though they weren’t sure if hunger were permissible at such a time.
‘We’ll pick some blackberries in a minute, but first’ - Eve plumped down on the grass, putting her parcel behind her and patting the bank either side of her - ‘we have to talk.’
Mary started to cry but she sat down. Eve put her arms round her sister as Nell joined them. ‘Don’t cry, hinny. This isn’t your fault, none of it, understand? It was him. He was wrong to do what he did. I have to understand what happened though, Mary.You must tell me it all, from the beginning. It’s important.’
Eve only had the sketchiest knowledge of the facts of life. Her grandma had already died when she had begun her monthlies and so her father had taken her next door to Mrs McArthur. That good lady had told her enough to comprehend what went on between a man and a woman and that it was vitally important to keep yourself to yourself until you were wed unless you wanted to end up in the workhouse with your belly full. Neither of her sisters had started their monthlies yet though, and Eve had never been so thankful for something in her life. The possibility of Mary’s small child’s body carrying a baby was unthinkable.
By the time Mary had finished speaking, Eve and Nell were sick to their stomachs, but a thin feeling of relief undergirded Eve’s revulsion. Some of the things Josiah had made Mary do to him were nauseating, but as far as she could ascertain he had not tried to violate her apart from once. Returning to this, Eve said gently, ‘When Mr Finnigan put his hand inside your knickers and hurt you, are you sure he didn’t do it again? Or anything else like that to your private place?’
Mary shook her curls. ‘He tried to but I cried and shouted and carried on and said I’d tell, and so he stopped.’
Eve stared at her sister. She felt disconcerted by the matter-of-fact way Mary had spoken and she could tell Nell did too. ‘But he wouldn’t stop doing those other things?’
Mary wriggled. ‘He said I was his special girl and he was nice sometimes. He-he gave me lots of things, sweets, money an’ that. Like Da and the lads did.’
‘But this was different, Mary.You do see that, don’t you? Da and the lads . . .’ She didn’t know how to put it. ‘They didn’t want you to do things that were wrong like Mr Finnigan. They loved you properly. They didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do.’
Mary stared at her, her big blue eyes shaded by their thick lashes. ‘Aye, I know.’
She had to ask. ‘Why didn’t you tell me what was going on, or Nell even? Did you think we’d be cross?’
Again the wriggle. ‘He said it had to be a secret and if I told we wouldn’t be able to stay and we’d be out on the streets. He said no one else would take us on and . . . he wanted to look after me. He said . . .’
‘What? What did he say?’
‘He said he loved me more than Phoebe an’ the bairns.’
‘Oh, hinny, hinny.’ Eve pulled Mary into her and hugged her fiercely.
The three girls spent that first night curled up together on a bed of bracken and moss in a sheltered spot under the thick hedgerow, wrapped in their blankets. Although the day had been mild it had become bitterly cold in the early hours, and Eve had awoken long before dawn. She lay stiffly in the darkness, trying to control her shivering so as not to wake her sisters.
She and Nell must find work soon. Somewhere far away from Stanley where no one would
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