Everything to Lose
Sir Christopher; Zoe is perfect for this covert close protection work. This type of babysitting is her speciality and she's the very best."
    Aden-Brown pressed the intercom and asked his PA Irene if the team had arrived. She confirmed everyone had arrived and they were waiting in briefing room A.
    "Okay Alan let's get this briefing done."
    Aden-Brown was not convinced Gavin and Zoe were fully fit for action but then the hard operational decisions were down to Alan Cairn.
    Cairn was 56 years old and overweight at 76 kg. His portly silhouette was instantly recognisable in the corridors of the Home Office. His gruff northern take-me-as-you find-me-manner put many people on edge. In a small room or a large hall it was always his voice that was loudest and grandest. His oval face was made pointy by a goatee beard that merged with a thick moustache and complimented a set of bushy eyebrows over his dark blue eyes. His hair was combed back from the hairline and it curled up over his collar. The brown hair on his face and head had started to turn grey at the edges.
     
    * * *
    Gavin Shawlens had attended briefings in HOBRA before so the smell was familiar. It was a room with no windows and ineffective air conditioning. The smell was a complex mixture of human odour, eau de toilette and dust in the air from a recent flick-over. He also noted an orange smell from the leather seats from the spray fluid used to clean leather.
    The room was bright with concealed ceiling lighting over a conference table in the centre with seating for sixteen. The table and matching wall panelling were built with distinctive hard rock maple similar to that used to floor bowling alleys.
    Gavin stared into the burls, leaf figures and bird's eye figures he could see in the grain. Around the table sat two men and two women.
    None of them knew each other so they sat in silence. They exchanged polite hellos and smiles but none of them had introduced themselves, which was understandable given the secrecy of the Lambeth Group.
    Gavin fought his mind to stay on focus. He didn't want to be there. He pleaded to deaf ears for more time to deal with his grief. He still felt suicidal. Thoughts of Emma Patersun ebbed and flowed during the day and flooded his mind at night.
    He had vivid images of her funeral and people reflecting on her life. Every part of it still raw in his thoughts. No-one knew what she meant to him. He spent endless days studying methods of euthanasia. He wanted to run after Emma to meet up with her. He wanted something fast and painless like flicking off a switch.
    He tortured himself analysing and evaluating doses and procedures trying to judge pain levels. He had taken a few chemicals from the lab that would do the job. He was still alive because he worried that if he took his own life there might be some divine rule that would prevent him from being reunited with Emma.
    Aden-Brown and Alan Cairn entered and immediately took command of the room.
    "Good afternoon and welcome back to the Home Office. Thank you for coming at such short notice. Now can we quickly go around the table please," Aden-Brown said as he looked at Gavin Shawlens.
    "Dr Gavin Shawlens, biochemist, University of Kinmalcolm. I manage an enzyme technology research group. This will be my eighth backfire," Gavin said then turned to the person on his left and nodded to indicate he was finished.
    His voice sounded distant, lacking purpose, making it obvious to others he didn't want to be there. Aden-Brown and Alan Cairn exchanged eye contact, as they knew Shawlens was feeling particularly low.
    "Zoe Tampin, Senior Field Officer with the Security Service. On temporary secondment to the Lambeth Group. Based here in London and this will be my second backfire investigation," she said confidently like a commander.
    "Hello everyone I'm Dr Rolley James Morgan. I'm a team leader at the Central Institute of Advanced Physics, Oxford. I'm a specialist in complex energy systems. I lead a team of

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