Executive by Piers Anthony Page B

projections, but—
    “ We must do it by hand,” she said witheringly. “Two years of it. We've had computers for ten centuries, but they won't let us use them!”
    “Six centuries,” I said. “But it is necessary to know the fundamentals, in order to appreciate what the computers do.”
    “Seven. Does it take two years of ever-more-obscure two-dimensional examples to appreciate what the computers do in three-dimensional space?”
    Spirit turned away, masking half a smile. I was in trouble! “I suppose the basics could be abridged,” I said. “Perhaps one semester, and then the computer applications for the more advanced work.”
    “Exactly!” she said triumphantly. “I've already had three semesters of it, and none of it about computer applications. Why should I continue?”
    “Name another useless subject,” I said.
    “English.”
    “Now I realize you are bilingual, as are a number of Hispanics,” I said, “but English is the primary language of Jupiter, and it behooves those of us who have adopted this planet to—”
    “Verbs and nouns,” she said. “The same things, every year, over and over.”
    “Well, again it is necessary to know the basics before—”
    “No, it isn't,” she said. “I learned to speak English and Spanish before I ever heard of the parts of speech. Everyone else did too. It is no more necessary to know the names of the parts of speech in order to use the language correctly than it is to know the names of the muscles and ligaments of the body in order to live and breathe.”
    I sat back, considering that. She had a point! “But surely those who were brought up in less literate homes than your own require this form of education, so that—”
    “No, they don't!” she said hotly. "They need to be instructed in the correct forms directly. The parts of speech are merely a means to an end, and the educational system has let the means become the end!
    They're trying to turn out illiterate students who can name the parts of speech!"
    “Surely you exaggerate!” I said, daunted. Where had I been warned before about means becoming ends? “The basics remain useful as underlying knowledge, much as the knowledge of the basic principles of mathematics remains useful in the computer age. Speaking correctly is not necessarily a simple—”
    “Define a gerund,” she said.
    I concentrated. I remembered the term but had forgotten to what it applied. “An animal like a hamster?”
    “Gerbil,” she said, correcting me in the manner I had corrected her about the period of computers but refusing to be distracted by the humor. Now Shelia turned away, smiling. “It's strange that you cannot define a gerund, Daddy, since you just used one.”
    “I did? Where?”
    “A gerund is a verb used as a noun, ending in 'ing.' You said 'speaking,' and that's a gerund.”
    Now I remembered. “I guess I did, daughter.”
    She closed in for the kill. “You knew how to use it before you learned the name of that part of speech in school, and you knew how to use it after you had forgotten its name. Of what use is the name of it to you? ”
    I spread my hands. “No use that I can fathom at the moment, Hopie.”
    “Would two more years of instruction in gerunds and participles and indirect objects and dependent clauses and parallel structure improve your ability to speak?”
    I laughed, as much at her vehemence as at her point. “I suspect not.”
    “Then why foist off this useless drill on me? It won't improve my speech, either.”
    Indeed, it would not, for she had been speaking to me most effectively. I was privately proud of her ability to make her point. She was a bright girl who reminded me a lot of Spirit, and I was always pleased to be reminded of that.
    “What would you have me do, Hopie?” I asked. “Abolish school?”
    She considered. “No. School could be useful— should be useful, if correctly instituted. What you need to do is make the schools relevant.”
    “And you know what