citizens,” said Gwen.
“And that’s just off the top of my head,” said Arthur. “I’m sure there are others. The point is, this is going to leave the president and Ron in a no-win predicament. Either they’ll be seen as completely ignorant of the forces behind Gwen’s miraculous recovery, in which case they’ll be considered uninformed and ineffective. Or else they’ll be seen as trying to cover up the facts of the matter, and thus working contrary to the interests of Americans. Either way, they’ll be terribly weakened politically. It will hurt their ability to govern in terms of the public’s faith in them.”
“Which doesn’t even begin to take into account,” Gwen added, “the inevitable hearings and investigations that Congress is going to launch in order to play to its constituents. But if we go back…”
“If you go back,” said Percival, “the spotlight is going to be straight on you.”
Arthur smiled thinly. “And here, Percival, I would have thought your mission in all this was to talk us into going back.”
“I would not presume to try and talk you into anything, Highness. The truth of the matter is that I’m here at Ron’s instigation, in order to apprise you of what’s happening. But I wouldn’t dream of influencing—”
“Bluntly, Percival, what happens if we don’t go back?”
“Ron’s ass is grass.”
“That sounds painful,” said Arthur, who then gave it a moment’s more thought and decided, “Actually, that simply sounds strange. Then again, I was living in a cave for nearly a thousand years, so I never pretended to understand everything that everyone was talking about. Still, when all is said and done, Ron has been a loyal friend and aide, as was his wife, Nellie. I don’t see how Gwen and I can, in good conscience, spend the rest of our lives carefree if it means that Ron’s buttocks will become transformed into a lawn.”
“So we have to go back?” asked Gwen.
He looked to his wife. “Do you disagree? Tell me now. Because if you do, I am willing to overlook the dictates of my conscience for—”
“You know what, Arthur?” she laughed. “You can’t lie to a soul on this planet…except yourself. You really think that you would be able to ‘overlook the dictates’ of your conscience? You can’t set aside your morality any more than you can set aside your need to breathe. Oh, you could manage it for a brief time, I suppose, if you felt you were doing it on my behalf. But sooner or later, the pressure would get to you, and we’d be on our way back to Washington.”
Ziusura pointed languidly in Gwen’s direction. “This one’s smarter than I would have credited her, Arthur,” he said.
“Thanks a lot, Noah.”
Ziusura put down the cookies and said, “That’s it. You want an up-close and personal view of a flood, young woman? Your wish is granted…”
“Easy, Wise and Aged One,” Arthur said soothingly. “She meant no disrespect.”
“Oh yes I—”
“Gwen!”
“Fine, fine, fine. I’m sorry about the ‘Noah’ thing.” She frowned. “There is one possibility we’re not considering.”
“Dropping you into the ocean?” suggested Ziusura. “Let’s see them make a case if they can’t find you…”
“What the hell did I ever do to you?”
“Your getting shot led him,” Ziusura indicated Arthur, “to seek out the Grail, which ended up putting an end to the nice, peaceful, island-bound life that I’d gotten very accustomed to, thank you very much.”
“A terrorist shot me! What was I supposed to do!”
“You’ve never heard of ducking?”
“All right, that’s enough. Gwen,” said Arthur, “what’s the possibility we’re not considering?”
“That I simply go myself. Leave you out here. Leave you out of it.”
“Why in the name of the gods would I agree to something like that?”
“Because,” Percival said, comprehending, “she’ll be more willing to lie than you.”
“Right. I’ll lie like a rug.
“And that’s just off the top of my head,” said Arthur. “I’m sure there are others. The point is, this is going to leave the president and Ron in a no-win predicament. Either they’ll be seen as completely ignorant of the forces behind Gwen’s miraculous recovery, in which case they’ll be considered uninformed and ineffective. Or else they’ll be seen as trying to cover up the facts of the matter, and thus working contrary to the interests of Americans. Either way, they’ll be terribly weakened politically. It will hurt their ability to govern in terms of the public’s faith in them.”
“Which doesn’t even begin to take into account,” Gwen added, “the inevitable hearings and investigations that Congress is going to launch in order to play to its constituents. But if we go back…”
“If you go back,” said Percival, “the spotlight is going to be straight on you.”
Arthur smiled thinly. “And here, Percival, I would have thought your mission in all this was to talk us into going back.”
“I would not presume to try and talk you into anything, Highness. The truth of the matter is that I’m here at Ron’s instigation, in order to apprise you of what’s happening. But I wouldn’t dream of influencing—”
“Bluntly, Percival, what happens if we don’t go back?”
“Ron’s ass is grass.”
“That sounds painful,” said Arthur, who then gave it a moment’s more thought and decided, “Actually, that simply sounds strange. Then again, I was living in a cave for nearly a thousand years, so I never pretended to understand everything that everyone was talking about. Still, when all is said and done, Ron has been a loyal friend and aide, as was his wife, Nellie. I don’t see how Gwen and I can, in good conscience, spend the rest of our lives carefree if it means that Ron’s buttocks will become transformed into a lawn.”
“So we have to go back?” asked Gwen.
He looked to his wife. “Do you disagree? Tell me now. Because if you do, I am willing to overlook the dictates of my conscience for—”
“You know what, Arthur?” she laughed. “You can’t lie to a soul on this planet…except yourself. You really think that you would be able to ‘overlook the dictates’ of your conscience? You can’t set aside your morality any more than you can set aside your need to breathe. Oh, you could manage it for a brief time, I suppose, if you felt you were doing it on my behalf. But sooner or later, the pressure would get to you, and we’d be on our way back to Washington.”
Ziusura pointed languidly in Gwen’s direction. “This one’s smarter than I would have credited her, Arthur,” he said.
“Thanks a lot, Noah.”
Ziusura put down the cookies and said, “That’s it. You want an up-close and personal view of a flood, young woman? Your wish is granted…”
“Easy, Wise and Aged One,” Arthur said soothingly. “She meant no disrespect.”
“Oh yes I—”
“Gwen!”
“Fine, fine, fine. I’m sorry about the ‘Noah’ thing.” She frowned. “There is one possibility we’re not considering.”
“Dropping you into the ocean?” suggested Ziusura. “Let’s see them make a case if they can’t find you…”
“What the hell did I ever do to you?”
“Your getting shot led him,” Ziusura indicated Arthur, “to seek out the Grail, which ended up putting an end to the nice, peaceful, island-bound life that I’d gotten very accustomed to, thank you very much.”
“A terrorist shot me! What was I supposed to do!”
“You’ve never heard of ducking?”
“All right, that’s enough. Gwen,” said Arthur, “what’s the possibility we’re not considering?”
“That I simply go myself. Leave you out here. Leave you out of it.”
“Why in the name of the gods would I agree to something like that?”
“Because,” Percival said, comprehending, “she’ll be more willing to lie than you.”
“Right. I’ll lie like a rug.
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