Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold Page B

so much more interesting to read about. It's so—so—when I'm reading this, she clutched the little plastic squares tightly, it's like they're real, and I'm not. Silver sighed hugely.
    Although perhaps Mr. Van Atta was a bit like Sir Randan . . . high of status, commanding, short-tempered. . . . Silver wondered briefly why short temper in Sir Randan always seemed so exciting and attractive, full of fascinating consequences. When Mr. Van Atta became angry,it merely made her sick to her stomach. Perhaps downsider women had more courage.
    Ti shrugged baffled amusement. Whatever turns you on, I guess. Can't see the harm in it. But I brought something better for you, this trip—he rummaged in his flight bag again, and shook out a froth of ivory fabric, intricate lace and ribbony satin. I figured you could wear a regular woman's blouseall right. It's got flowers in the pattern, thought you'd like that, being in hydroponics and all.
    Oh... One of Valeria Virga's heroines might have been at home in such a garment. Silver reached for it, drew her hand back. But—but I can't take it
    Why not? You take the book-discs. It wasn't that expensive.
    Silver, who felt she was beginning to have a fairly clear idea of how money worked from her reading, shook her head. It's not that. It's, well—you know, I don't think Dr. Yei would approve of our meeting like this. Neither would—would a lot of other people. Actually,Silver was fairly sure that disapprove would barely begin to cover the consequences should her secret transactions with Ti be found out.
    Prudes, scoffed Ti. You're not going to let them start telling you what to do now, are you? But his scorn was tinged with anxiety.
    I'm not going to start telling them what I am doing either,said Silver pointedly. Are you? God, no, he waved his hands in horrified negation. So, we are in agreement. Unfortunately, that, she pointed regretfully at the blouse, is something I can't hide. I couldn't wear it without someone demanding that I Page 27

    explain where I got it.
    Oh, he said, in the blunted tone of one struck by incontrovertable fact. Yeah,I—g uess I should have thought of that. Do you suppose you could put it away for a time? I've only been taking my gravity leaves on the Rodeo side because all the shuttle bonus berths at Orient IV get nailed by the seniorg uys. Well, and you can log a lot more hours here I faster, with all the freight hauling. But I'll have my shuttle commander's rating and be back to permanent Jump status in just a few more cycles.
    It can't be shared, either,said Silver. You see,th e thing about the books and the vid dramas and lings, besides being small and easy to hide, is thatth ey can be passed all around the group withoutbe ing used up. Nobody gets left out. So I can get, um, a lot of cooperation when I want to, say—get away for a little time by myself? A toss of her head indicated the privacy they were presently enjoying.
    Ah,gulped Ti. He paused.I—h adn't realized you were passing the stuff around.
    Not share? said Silver. That would be really wrong.She stared at him in mild offense, and pushed the blouse back toward him on the surge of the emotion,quickly, before she weakened. She almost explained further,then thought better of it.
    Best Ti didn't know about the uproar when one of the book-discs, accidently left in a viewer, had been found by one of the Habitat's downsider staff and turned over to Dr. Yei. The search—barely alerted, they had scrambled successfully to hide the rest of the contraband library, but the fierce intensity of the search had been warning enough to Silver of how serious was her offense in the eyes of her authorities.
    There had been two more surpriseinspections since, even though no more discs had been found. She could take a hint.
    Mr. Van Atta himself had taken her aside—her!—and urged her to spy out the leak for him among her comrades. She had started to confess, stopped just in time, as his rising rage tightened her