she was goin than that bird did! Left, not to seek a future, but to bow down to whatever future was comin to her. And I feel now as if Icould KILL whoever thought of all this, such a horror mess, again and again. But I done felt this many times, again and again.
As Always walked toward her future down that time-worn path to the buggy waitin to carry her away, she wondered if Brother Sun and Peach were alive or dead. She did not know Sun had tried to buy her through Loretta, but that Loretta never told anyone because she did not want Always to go. She, Loretta, wanted to go. And Always was a kinda insurance that Sun would be where she, Loretta, could somehow reach him, and if he never sent for her, then Always had no right to get away. This … and still Loretta had kindness in her heart for many other things. But, I guess all these things led somehow back to herself.
I watched all these things. I knew things, and then again, I didn’t know things. This bein here and not bein here all at the same time was a hard thing to be. I couldn’t help nobody or nothin! It is surely a hard thing to be. And not know why … or even how. I only knew I couldn’t help my babies. None.
ALWAYS REACHED THAT buggy-wagon standin in front of the Big House, lookin for Plum. Plum was not there. Truth is, Plum was stealin time playin in round that ole broke-down chicken house she and Always set in sometimes to be alone together.
They told Always Plum was not goin with her and Doak, seein the look on her face, took her arm to push her up on the wagon bed. Always struggled away, cryin for Plum. Plum heard herand came runnin on her weak, little thin legs fast as them legs could carry her. An instant’s look and everything was clear to even my little five-year-old Plum. She started screamin too. The yard was empty of slaves cept for those who were sposed to be out there, like the horse-handler and the buggy-man.
Young Mistress was standin in the window watchin through the curtains. Always raised such a fuss, long with my little Plum, that the mistress moved way from the window. My children cried and screamed and reached out for each other, both held back by unfeelin arms. Ahhhh, my children, my children.
Loretta continued watchin from her window, thinkin how far Always would be away when she, herself, laughed in Sun’s face for leavin her behind so long. Virginia watched, then decided to run outside and help em with the black bitch.
It was when Virginia ran out the front door and all hands holdin Always turned their eyes to her, that Plum pulled away and ran around and under the wagon. Pullin herself up on a bar that fit under the seat and crossed from each wheel, Plum laythere with the stirred dust and old dirt flyin round her, into her nose and mouth as she breathed heavy and as quiet as she could. I don’t know what they call it, but she lay stuck in that place til they finally brought Always down, tied her hands behind her and chained one of her feet to the sideboard … and drove away.
Oh Lord, I could not reach my child Plum.
As they drove along, she began to slide and somethin that damn man did drivin cause the rod to move and press into my baby child. She was too stunned and afraid to scream, thinkin too, she would be taken away from her sister, her family. She never did cry out then. She didn’t feel the pain after awhile. When it gradually took over her whole little body and she couldn’t hold it in anymore, her voice was weak and small and the wagon made so much noise they couldn’t hear her crys and moans.
But … I did. I felt them too. Ohhhh, I felt them moans and her pain as she slid and the bar tore into my little child’s arms and legs as she tried to hold tight to it … for life. Then her dear, sweet little body was held stuck as she bled todeath all those long eighteen miles to where her new home would be in a grove, in the ground, in a grave. But, she did not die right away. She was unconscious, near
As Always walked toward her future down that time-worn path to the buggy waitin to carry her away, she wondered if Brother Sun and Peach were alive or dead. She did not know Sun had tried to buy her through Loretta, but that Loretta never told anyone because she did not want Always to go. She, Loretta, wanted to go. And Always was a kinda insurance that Sun would be where she, Loretta, could somehow reach him, and if he never sent for her, then Always had no right to get away. This … and still Loretta had kindness in her heart for many other things. But, I guess all these things led somehow back to herself.
I watched all these things. I knew things, and then again, I didn’t know things. This bein here and not bein here all at the same time was a hard thing to be. I couldn’t help nobody or nothin! It is surely a hard thing to be. And not know why … or even how. I only knew I couldn’t help my babies. None.
ALWAYS REACHED THAT buggy-wagon standin in front of the Big House, lookin for Plum. Plum was not there. Truth is, Plum was stealin time playin in round that ole broke-down chicken house she and Always set in sometimes to be alone together.
They told Always Plum was not goin with her and Doak, seein the look on her face, took her arm to push her up on the wagon bed. Always struggled away, cryin for Plum. Plum heard herand came runnin on her weak, little thin legs fast as them legs could carry her. An instant’s look and everything was clear to even my little five-year-old Plum. She started screamin too. The yard was empty of slaves cept for those who were sposed to be out there, like the horse-handler and the buggy-man.
Young Mistress was standin in the window watchin through the curtains. Always raised such a fuss, long with my little Plum, that the mistress moved way from the window. My children cried and screamed and reached out for each other, both held back by unfeelin arms. Ahhhh, my children, my children.
Loretta continued watchin from her window, thinkin how far Always would be away when she, herself, laughed in Sun’s face for leavin her behind so long. Virginia watched, then decided to run outside and help em with the black bitch.
It was when Virginia ran out the front door and all hands holdin Always turned their eyes to her, that Plum pulled away and ran around and under the wagon. Pullin herself up on a bar that fit under the seat and crossed from each wheel, Plum laythere with the stirred dust and old dirt flyin round her, into her nose and mouth as she breathed heavy and as quiet as she could. I don’t know what they call it, but she lay stuck in that place til they finally brought Always down, tied her hands behind her and chained one of her feet to the sideboard … and drove away.
Oh Lord, I could not reach my child Plum.
As they drove along, she began to slide and somethin that damn man did drivin cause the rod to move and press into my baby child. She was too stunned and afraid to scream, thinkin too, she would be taken away from her sister, her family. She never did cry out then. She didn’t feel the pain after awhile. When it gradually took over her whole little body and she couldn’t hold it in anymore, her voice was weak and small and the wagon made so much noise they couldn’t hear her crys and moans.
But … I did. I felt them too. Ohhhh, I felt them moans and her pain as she slid and the bar tore into my little child’s arms and legs as she tried to hold tight to it … for life. Then her dear, sweet little body was held stuck as she bled todeath all those long eighteen miles to where her new home would be in a grove, in the ground, in a grave. But, she did not die right away. She was unconscious, near
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