February (Calendar Girl #2) by Audrey Carlan Page A

with each of them.
    “So, we’re going to love one another forever, only we’re not committing to one another in the way a married couple or even a boyfriend and girlfriend do,” I confirmed.
    “ Oui . Exactly, ma jolie ! You’ve got it. My commitment to you is to love you wholly for our time, and that will stay with you. And I will take your love with me. Then forever, we will both know that this time was built on trust, love, and friendship.” He paused then kissed me softly. “Nothing more in life is needed.”
    My eyes misted over and a tear trickled down the side of my cheek at the truth of what he’d said. Alec wiped it away. “May I love you now?” His words were simple but struck deep.
    “Yes, Alec. I’d very much like you to love me,” I said through the lump that formed in my throat. And that’s what he did, loved me, all through the night or at least until I passed out. It was exactly what I needed to get through what had happened earlier in the loft, as well as the guilt that was building about Wes.
    Alec and I had a mutual agreement to love one another as friends, to treat each other with respect. We would enjoy one another’s bodies and minds for the time I was there, and when it was done, it was done. We’d still care for one another and have a love that was exclusively ours that we could keep in a box inside our memories and revisit if we needed to. There was something achingly perfect about that. Right then, I vowed that I wouldn’t try to prevent myself from caring for each client. I would allow myself to care in my own special way. Only it wouldn’t be the “I’m in love with you forever way.” Forever was sacred, something that would present itself when the time was right, with the right person.
    I thought back to Wes and how much I missed him. This situation with Alec gave me new insight into my relationship with Wes. Showed me how I spent the entire month I was with Wes trying not to love him. Protecting myself and my heart from ever feeling those things. Except it didn’t work, because I do love Wes. In my own way. And I think he loves me too. Only with him, I’m not sure it wouldn’t be the forever kind of love. That thought cemented why it was important for me to leave when I did. I can safely say that we were both honest with one another, cared deeply, and if it’s meant to be a forever kind of love, we have time to cultivate that. If it’s meant to be. Until then, I would enjoy my Frenchman and all the experiences I was supposed to have while I was there and for the remainder of the year escorting.
     
    ***
    The next day when I made my way down to the loft, it was once again silent. I was beginning to see a pattern here. He took pictures one day, and the next day, when he did the painting, he released his staff so he could work alone. As I made my way further into the loft, I heard a hauntingly beautiful piece of music. The lilting voice and intense piano notes echoed off the walls as a woman’s tentative lyrics weaved through the chords of the piano. She was almost speaking in a whisper yet still singing. It was utterly disturbing in its beauty. Then strings entered the mix. I closed my eyes taking it into my heart and soul. Remembering this moment for what it was. Graceful, vulnerable, everything I needed.
    Click I was startled and opened my eyes to see Alec standing in front of me a camera in his hand.
    “I couldn’t help myself. You were too precious, soaking in the light of grace. I had to capture it.”
    I tilted my head and grinned. “Did you get what you need?” I asked with a touch of sarcasm.
    “Did you?” his eyebrow quirked. Always trying to teach me a lesson, my Frenchie.
    I took a breath and scanned the floor choosing to leave it at that.
    “Come, there is much to do.” Alec turned on a heel and strode over to our space in the loft.  
    I hobbled over and took my seat. I gasped as I stared once more at my image. Only this time it was the wide canvas.