aftershave off him. It covers a multitude of sins. I know.
– Listen Clell, think ay the years we’ve seen in service. Some silly wee tart goes tae college n gets a degree in fuckin sociology and then does some Daz Coupon Certificate in Personnel Management and joins the force on this graduate accelerated programme and she’s earning nearly as much fuckin dough as you or me who’re pittin ourselves oan the fuckin line tryin tae stoap schemies killin each other! She’s never seen past a fuckin desk withoot a real polisman chaperoning her everywhere! Then she writes this fuckin stupid policy document saying: ‘be kind to coons and poofs and silly wee lassies like me’ and everybody gets the fuckin hots. Then they get this posh wee chinky bird wi an American accent tae come in n tell us how tae dae our job and how tae relate tae the public, with, surprise surprise, another set ay forms tae fill in! Aye right! We do look sweet!
That reminds me. I’ve a OTA 1–7 tae fill in for my overtime.
– Aye, says Gus Bain, – Scotland’s a white man’s country. Always has been, always will be. That’s the way ah see it at any rate, and ah’m too long in tooth tae change now, he chuckles cheerfully. A good auld boy Gus.
– Precisely Gus. Ah mind when I took Carole and wee Stacey tae see that Braveheart . How many pakis or spades did ye see in the colours fightin for Scotland? Same wi Rob Roy , same wi The Bruce .
– Aye, says Andy Clelland, – but that’s a long time ago now.
– Precisely. We built this fuckin country. Thir wis nane ay them at Bannockburn or Culloden when the going was tough. It’s our blood, our soil, our history. Then they want tae waltz in here and reap all the benefits and tell us that we should be ashamed ay that! We were fuckin slaves before these cunts were ever rounded up and shipped tae America!
Inside the session, the wee chinky bird, this wee San Yung or whatever they call her, she’s standing up wi that business suit oan and she’s saying: – Right, I wanna do a free association brainstorming exercise. Just call out at random, any responses you can think of.
She turns and writes a heading on the flipchart: WHAT DOES ‘RACISM’ MEAN TO YOU?
Clell shouts out first: – Discrimination.
The wee chinky burd goes aw hot n focused and eagerly writes it down on the chart.
Gillman steams in, no like the cunt I’m sure: – Conflict, he snaps.
As she’s writin this doon, Clell says, – Might no be conflict. Might be harmony. Gillman ignores him.
Gus Bain says: – You’re thinkin of the hairspray.
I chip in and say: – That girl’s not wearing Harmony hairspray. Everybody has a wee laugh at that, well the boys that are auld enough tae mind ay the ad do. Even Dougie Gillman smiles.
The chinky bird raises her voice and says, – I think . . . is it Andy? Clelland nods, – I think Andy made a valid point here. We in policework tend to be conditioned into seeing a conflict-based society due to the nature of our jobs, but in fact race relations in Britain is characterised much more by harmony than anything else.
– It’s the leading brand of hairspray, I tell her. Nobody laughs this time and I’m feeling isolated, like a daft cunt.
At least the hoor seems upset, which is what it’s all about. She looks directly at me and asks, – What does the term racism mean to you . . . she looks at my name tag, – . . . Bruce?
– It doesn’t mean anything to me. I just treat everyone the same.
Bain claps slowly and emphatically, his eyes glazed and his chin jutting out.
– Okay, very laudable, chinky-girl says, – but do you not recognise racism in others?
– Nup. That’s thaire lookout. You take responsibility for your own behaviour, not other people’s, I tell her. I’m chuffed, that was a good point to make, straight from these cunts’ daft interpersonal skills training jargon. I can see that it almost strikes a chord with this Kitchen Sink’s fucked up way of thinking.
– Listen Clell, think ay the years we’ve seen in service. Some silly wee tart goes tae college n gets a degree in fuckin sociology and then does some Daz Coupon Certificate in Personnel Management and joins the force on this graduate accelerated programme and she’s earning nearly as much fuckin dough as you or me who’re pittin ourselves oan the fuckin line tryin tae stoap schemies killin each other! She’s never seen past a fuckin desk withoot a real polisman chaperoning her everywhere! Then she writes this fuckin stupid policy document saying: ‘be kind to coons and poofs and silly wee lassies like me’ and everybody gets the fuckin hots. Then they get this posh wee chinky bird wi an American accent tae come in n tell us how tae dae our job and how tae relate tae the public, with, surprise surprise, another set ay forms tae fill in! Aye right! We do look sweet!
That reminds me. I’ve a OTA 1–7 tae fill in for my overtime.
– Aye, says Gus Bain, – Scotland’s a white man’s country. Always has been, always will be. That’s the way ah see it at any rate, and ah’m too long in tooth tae change now, he chuckles cheerfully. A good auld boy Gus.
– Precisely Gus. Ah mind when I took Carole and wee Stacey tae see that Braveheart . How many pakis or spades did ye see in the colours fightin for Scotland? Same wi Rob Roy , same wi The Bruce .
– Aye, says Andy Clelland, – but that’s a long time ago now.
– Precisely. We built this fuckin country. Thir wis nane ay them at Bannockburn or Culloden when the going was tough. It’s our blood, our soil, our history. Then they want tae waltz in here and reap all the benefits and tell us that we should be ashamed ay that! We were fuckin slaves before these cunts were ever rounded up and shipped tae America!
Inside the session, the wee chinky bird, this wee San Yung or whatever they call her, she’s standing up wi that business suit oan and she’s saying: – Right, I wanna do a free association brainstorming exercise. Just call out at random, any responses you can think of.
She turns and writes a heading on the flipchart: WHAT DOES ‘RACISM’ MEAN TO YOU?
Clell shouts out first: – Discrimination.
The wee chinky burd goes aw hot n focused and eagerly writes it down on the chart.
Gillman steams in, no like the cunt I’m sure: – Conflict, he snaps.
As she’s writin this doon, Clell says, – Might no be conflict. Might be harmony. Gillman ignores him.
Gus Bain says: – You’re thinkin of the hairspray.
I chip in and say: – That girl’s not wearing Harmony hairspray. Everybody has a wee laugh at that, well the boys that are auld enough tae mind ay the ad do. Even Dougie Gillman smiles.
The chinky bird raises her voice and says, – I think . . . is it Andy? Clelland nods, – I think Andy made a valid point here. We in policework tend to be conditioned into seeing a conflict-based society due to the nature of our jobs, but in fact race relations in Britain is characterised much more by harmony than anything else.
– It’s the leading brand of hairspray, I tell her. Nobody laughs this time and I’m feeling isolated, like a daft cunt.
At least the hoor seems upset, which is what it’s all about. She looks directly at me and asks, – What does the term racism mean to you . . . she looks at my name tag, – . . . Bruce?
– It doesn’t mean anything to me. I just treat everyone the same.
Bain claps slowly and emphatically, his eyes glazed and his chin jutting out.
– Okay, very laudable, chinky-girl says, – but do you not recognise racism in others?
– Nup. That’s thaire lookout. You take responsibility for your own behaviour, not other people’s, I tell her. I’m chuffed, that was a good point to make, straight from these cunts’ daft interpersonal skills training jargon. I can see that it almost strikes a chord with this Kitchen Sink’s fucked up way of thinking.
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