You Till I Die” at our wedding. It’s still our favorite song. We miss you, but I expect you’re happy in heaven. Tell the Big Guy howdy for us. Hope to see you one day.
Loretta
Pressing his hand to his forehead, he squeezed his eyes shut. His mama didn’t play that song—ever—but of course he’d heard it before. His daddy had written it for the country redhead who’d captured his heart at a honky tonk in Mobile, Alabama. As a teenager, Clayton had secretly listened to the song when he was blue. His daddy’s love for his mama had been poured into every word.
He’d hoped to find that kind of love someday, that kind of a woman.
After Amanda, he’d lost all hope.
But Amelia Ann was bringing back all those messy feelings again, and he didn’t know what to do about it.
If only Daddy was around to give him advice. He could hardly ask his best friend given Amelia Ann’s relationship to Rye.
His mind flashed back to a summer day his family had spent in their cabin in West Virginia a few months before the accident. The beautiful day had ended with his mama making them root beer floats inside while he and Daddy sat on the front porch watching the moon rise over the lake.
Fireflies were twinkling everywhere around them, and Clayton caught one in his hand.
His daddy cupped his little hand and said, “Every time I see a firefly, I think about your mama. She shines so bright, Clayton. Like the fire that lights this little bug, there’s a fire in that woman, sure as God made the heavens. One day, I pray you’ll find a woman who has that same inner fire—a woman who glows in the darkness. When you do, hang on to her.”
“I’m only seven, Daddy. I don’t even like girls.” The firefly took flight then. “Oh, catch it, Daddy. It’s getting away.”
“You can never hold onto a firefly, son. God made them so everyone could marvel at their light.”
“Do people marvel at Mama’s light, Daddy?” he asked, watching the fireflies continue to wink in the darkness. “Is that why she has so many friends?”
Daddy ruffled his hair. “Yes, but more importantly, it’s why we love her.”
He climbed onto his daddy’s lap and hugged him. “Mama is the best mama ever!”
The hands on his little back felt safe and warm. “Yes, she is, son. We’re so lucky she’s ours.”
Two months later Daddy was dead. For a while, Mama’s fire had dimmed from grief, but soon it was as bright as ever, channeled into managing the career of a new country singer.
Up until recently, the only other woman he’d met who possessed that kind of fire was Amanda, but she had betrayed him.
Amelia Ann had fire too—a roaring blaze of it—and his feelings for her scared him to death. As did her continued pursuit of him like a torchbearer in the shadows he’d chosen to inhabit.
He set the fan letter back in place against the headstone and stood.
Ask your daddy for a sign, his mama had said.
He was a grown man. Signs weren’t something he believed in. Still…
“Daddy, if you’re looking out for me like Mama’s always thought I wouldn’t refuse a sign.” Saying it brought a flush of embarrassment to his cheeks. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. I’ll watch after Mama, like I’ve always said I would. Of course, her moving to Florida will make it a bit harder, but I’ll do my best, sir.”
He’d made that promise while he was holding his mama’s hand in front of his daddy’s coffin at the funeral home. Everyone had told him he needed to step up as the man of the house, and he’d never shirked that duty.
“I’ll be seeing you next year, Daddy.”
Saying goodbye was always awkward. Even after all these years, he still didn’t know what words to use.
When he walked off, his heart was heavy. For the thousandth time, Clayton couldn’t help but wonder how much easier his life would have been if his daddy hadn’t died that night.
Chapter 6
Amelia Ann threw her school satchel in the back of her BMW
Loretta
Pressing his hand to his forehead, he squeezed his eyes shut. His mama didn’t play that song—ever—but of course he’d heard it before. His daddy had written it for the country redhead who’d captured his heart at a honky tonk in Mobile, Alabama. As a teenager, Clayton had secretly listened to the song when he was blue. His daddy’s love for his mama had been poured into every word.
He’d hoped to find that kind of love someday, that kind of a woman.
After Amanda, he’d lost all hope.
But Amelia Ann was bringing back all those messy feelings again, and he didn’t know what to do about it.
If only Daddy was around to give him advice. He could hardly ask his best friend given Amelia Ann’s relationship to Rye.
His mind flashed back to a summer day his family had spent in their cabin in West Virginia a few months before the accident. The beautiful day had ended with his mama making them root beer floats inside while he and Daddy sat on the front porch watching the moon rise over the lake.
Fireflies were twinkling everywhere around them, and Clayton caught one in his hand.
His daddy cupped his little hand and said, “Every time I see a firefly, I think about your mama. She shines so bright, Clayton. Like the fire that lights this little bug, there’s a fire in that woman, sure as God made the heavens. One day, I pray you’ll find a woman who has that same inner fire—a woman who glows in the darkness. When you do, hang on to her.”
“I’m only seven, Daddy. I don’t even like girls.” The firefly took flight then. “Oh, catch it, Daddy. It’s getting away.”
“You can never hold onto a firefly, son. God made them so everyone could marvel at their light.”
“Do people marvel at Mama’s light, Daddy?” he asked, watching the fireflies continue to wink in the darkness. “Is that why she has so many friends?”
Daddy ruffled his hair. “Yes, but more importantly, it’s why we love her.”
He climbed onto his daddy’s lap and hugged him. “Mama is the best mama ever!”
The hands on his little back felt safe and warm. “Yes, she is, son. We’re so lucky she’s ours.”
Two months later Daddy was dead. For a while, Mama’s fire had dimmed from grief, but soon it was as bright as ever, channeled into managing the career of a new country singer.
Up until recently, the only other woman he’d met who possessed that kind of fire was Amanda, but she had betrayed him.
Amelia Ann had fire too—a roaring blaze of it—and his feelings for her scared him to death. As did her continued pursuit of him like a torchbearer in the shadows he’d chosen to inhabit.
He set the fan letter back in place against the headstone and stood.
Ask your daddy for a sign, his mama had said.
He was a grown man. Signs weren’t something he believed in. Still…
“Daddy, if you’re looking out for me like Mama’s always thought I wouldn’t refuse a sign.” Saying it brought a flush of embarrassment to his cheeks. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. I’ll watch after Mama, like I’ve always said I would. Of course, her moving to Florida will make it a bit harder, but I’ll do my best, sir.”
He’d made that promise while he was holding his mama’s hand in front of his daddy’s coffin at the funeral home. Everyone had told him he needed to step up as the man of the house, and he’d never shirked that duty.
“I’ll be seeing you next year, Daddy.”
Saying goodbye was always awkward. Even after all these years, he still didn’t know what words to use.
When he walked off, his heart was heavy. For the thousandth time, Clayton couldn’t help but wonder how much easier his life would have been if his daddy hadn’t died that night.
Chapter 6
Amelia Ann threw her school satchel in the back of her BMW
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