treats paying customers!”
“Celery?” Chris nodded, trying to put on a mean expression. He had no idea how well it worked. “Oh. Yes. I shall speak to him immediately.” He trotted off toward the celery. Circling around behind the apples and oranges, he could see a semi-familiar figure feverishly replacing the celery in its spot. Chris crept up behind him and grabbed his arm. “Excuse—” Something hit him in the stomach and he couldn’t catch his breath.
“Help! Police! Fire!” Mrs. Fitzpatrick said, somewhere behind him.
Chris held onto the person who had hit him, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. There was a lot more shouting than necessary, if you asked him, not that he could say anything about it. Then there was the man and the celery. He looked up and almost lost his grip on the guy. “You!”
“Let go of me!” Kevin shook his arm, but Chris wouldn’t let go. Kevin pulled his free hand back and hit him again, landing a solid blow just under Chris’s left eye.
“Help! Fire! Help! Police!”
“Shut up , lady,” Kevin snarled, trying to round on her; he was hampered by Chris.
“How dare you! Help!”
“All of you be quiet,” Tanner bellowed, and silence fell. “Now, what is going on?”
Kevin and Mrs. Fitzpatrick launched into explanations, complete with finger-pointing. Tanner held up his hands and shook his head. “Okay, no, you two please be quiet. Christopher! What’s happening?”
“I feel sick,” Chris said, because most of his world was consumed by the misery that was nausea. “And Kevin hit me.”
“Because he hit me first!”
“I did not,” Chris said.
“Christopher didn’t hit anyone,” Mrs. Fitzpatrick said. “But this Kevin character, he was rude to me! You should fire him, right now.”
“He doesn’t work here,” Tanner said, a funny look on his face.
“He doesn’t? Then why was he putting out the celery?” Mrs. Fitzpatrick put her hands on her hips and glared at Kevin.
“I don’t know,” Tanner said. “Do you, Christopher?”
“I think he took it,” Chris said. “And I think he made the apples and oranges fall on the floor.”
“You can’t prove it,” Kevin said smugly.
“He did it,” she said, pointing at him again. “Anyone who says that first thing, they’re guilty. And I bet you anything the tapes will tell the tale.”
“Why would he take the celery?” Tanner’s face was pinched. “And yeah, we can check the tapes. We’ll have to, anyhow. I think it’s time we moved this into the office.”
“ T HERE you are. I was beginning to worry that you’d been eaten by yams or something,” Jesse said as Chris entered the breakroom. His amusement disappeared at the expression on the other man’s face. “Hey, is everything okay?”
“I was not eaten by anything. I was hit by Kevin.” Chris sat down. “It has been a very bad morning.”
“Kevin hit you? What the fuck was he doing here?” Jesse sat up straight and gathered his lunch things together. “Is he still here?”
“Yes. He was making things fall on the floor, and then he was moving celery.” Chris shrugged and unpacked his own lunch, though he wasn’t very hungry. “He may still be in the office. Or—” Jesse was already moving, and by the time Chris got to his feet, he was out the door.
“Kevin!” Jesse threw the door to the office open, heedless of anyone inside. “Where the— What the hell is wrong with you? You think it’s funny, coming here and hitting Chris?”
“I, uh—” Kevin’s eyes widened as Jesse stalked across the room and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt.
“You want to see how funny it is?” Jesse tried to punch him in the face, but Kevin moved his head and Jesse’s fist glanced off of his cheekbone. “It’s not, is it?”
“Jesse,” Chris said, “don’t—”
“Pussy,” Kevin said. “You hit like a girl. Fuck like one, too.” And with that he shoved himself up, out of the chair, and the two
“Celery?” Chris nodded, trying to put on a mean expression. He had no idea how well it worked. “Oh. Yes. I shall speak to him immediately.” He trotted off toward the celery. Circling around behind the apples and oranges, he could see a semi-familiar figure feverishly replacing the celery in its spot. Chris crept up behind him and grabbed his arm. “Excuse—” Something hit him in the stomach and he couldn’t catch his breath.
“Help! Police! Fire!” Mrs. Fitzpatrick said, somewhere behind him.
Chris held onto the person who had hit him, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. There was a lot more shouting than necessary, if you asked him, not that he could say anything about it. Then there was the man and the celery. He looked up and almost lost his grip on the guy. “You!”
“Let go of me!” Kevin shook his arm, but Chris wouldn’t let go. Kevin pulled his free hand back and hit him again, landing a solid blow just under Chris’s left eye.
“Help! Fire! Help! Police!”
“Shut up , lady,” Kevin snarled, trying to round on her; he was hampered by Chris.
“How dare you! Help!”
“All of you be quiet,” Tanner bellowed, and silence fell. “Now, what is going on?”
Kevin and Mrs. Fitzpatrick launched into explanations, complete with finger-pointing. Tanner held up his hands and shook his head. “Okay, no, you two please be quiet. Christopher! What’s happening?”
“I feel sick,” Chris said, because most of his world was consumed by the misery that was nausea. “And Kevin hit me.”
“Because he hit me first!”
“I did not,” Chris said.
“Christopher didn’t hit anyone,” Mrs. Fitzpatrick said. “But this Kevin character, he was rude to me! You should fire him, right now.”
“He doesn’t work here,” Tanner said, a funny look on his face.
“He doesn’t? Then why was he putting out the celery?” Mrs. Fitzpatrick put her hands on her hips and glared at Kevin.
“I don’t know,” Tanner said. “Do you, Christopher?”
“I think he took it,” Chris said. “And I think he made the apples and oranges fall on the floor.”
“You can’t prove it,” Kevin said smugly.
“He did it,” she said, pointing at him again. “Anyone who says that first thing, they’re guilty. And I bet you anything the tapes will tell the tale.”
“Why would he take the celery?” Tanner’s face was pinched. “And yeah, we can check the tapes. We’ll have to, anyhow. I think it’s time we moved this into the office.”
“ T HERE you are. I was beginning to worry that you’d been eaten by yams or something,” Jesse said as Chris entered the breakroom. His amusement disappeared at the expression on the other man’s face. “Hey, is everything okay?”
“I was not eaten by anything. I was hit by Kevin.” Chris sat down. “It has been a very bad morning.”
“Kevin hit you? What the fuck was he doing here?” Jesse sat up straight and gathered his lunch things together. “Is he still here?”
“Yes. He was making things fall on the floor, and then he was moving celery.” Chris shrugged and unpacked his own lunch, though he wasn’t very hungry. “He may still be in the office. Or—” Jesse was already moving, and by the time Chris got to his feet, he was out the door.
“Kevin!” Jesse threw the door to the office open, heedless of anyone inside. “Where the— What the hell is wrong with you? You think it’s funny, coming here and hitting Chris?”
“I, uh—” Kevin’s eyes widened as Jesse stalked across the room and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt.
“You want to see how funny it is?” Jesse tried to punch him in the face, but Kevin moved his head and Jesse’s fist glanced off of his cheekbone. “It’s not, is it?”
“Jesse,” Chris said, “don’t—”
“Pussy,” Kevin said. “You hit like a girl. Fuck like one, too.” And with that he shoved himself up, out of the chair, and the two
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