gasped and pulled a white knit scarf out of her coat pocket, but it fluttered to the ground. He grabbed it and held it out to her.
“Denki,” she whispered, her hands trembling as she took it and put it on. For a brief moment he didn’t care what had kept them apart since he’d returned. He wanted only one thing: Rhoda. Even if she cared nothing for Samuel, could he and Rhoda ever have what they once had—new, fresh, innocent love?
He gestured toward the driveway at the front of the house. “I brought a rig for you. I thought maybe we’d go for a ride and talk.”
A faint smile curved her lips. “I’d like that.”
But he needed to know something first. “Samuel asked a question you didn’t answer.”
Her brows tightened. “When?”
Jacob pointed to the side of the house, where he’d been standing. “I got here about the same time as Samuel.”
She nodded, and he imagined she was trying to remember all that had been said. “And?”
“If it was all Samuel’s doing, why didn’t you just say that when I asked?”
Rhoda slid her hands into her coat pockets. “All three of us have to take responsibility for what happened. I grew careless, willing to get physically close without thinking what Samuel might be feeling. And we are close, Jacob. That’s the responsibility you need to take. You weren’t here when I needed you the most. You didn’t call or write. I had no way to reach you, and I spent months needing to share my burdens with someone. Then elation came when the drug investigation was over and the allegations were dropped. From the moment I got the news, you didn’t have to hide for my sake, not for one hour longer, but I still didn’t hear from you for a week. And that hurt. It really hurt.”
Jacob drew a deep breath. He needed a few moments to gain perspective before speaking. Her soft-spoken complaints stung.
When she was cleared, Jacob had written to her. Maybe he should’ve called. In their earlier phone conversations, like when he had to leave over Christmastime to help Sandra, Rhoda had sounded sad and lonely, and a call would have stolen their thunder of celebrating in person. But she never got his letter, and when he mentioned sending it, she’d thrown a bitter doubt in his lap. She probably didn’t remember half of what she’d said to him the day he came home and unearthed that she and Samuel had kissed. But the only thing that mattered at this point was how she felt now. If the last two weeks of living away from the farm had done nothing else, it should have given clarity to her mind and heart.
Jacob cleared his throat. “Is it just me? Am I hearing you wrong? Everything you’ve said since I realized what happened sounds as if you’re defending Samuel.”
Anger flashed through her eyes. “I’m not defending him!”
Until their clash over what had happened with Samuel, she’d never raised her voice to him. Had she lost all sense of who they were together?
She shifted. “Samuel is one-third wrong, and you just overheard my anger at him. But you have no idea what all I had to deal with while the senator’s wife used her skill and money to try to frame me. If you want to hate your brother for those five seconds, I won’t help you do it. But I’m asking you not to throw away all that the three of us are to each other, because we were caught in a situation none of us could prevent. Don’t toss us away because Samuel and I mishandled a few seconds. If we hadn’t become close, you would have had no need to hide for my sake, because I probably wouldn’t be alive.”
His heart jolted. “What?”
“There’s so much you don’t know.”
He continually learned more about what had taken place while he was gone, and it haunted him like a stalker he couldn’t escape. “Tell me what you meant by ‘wouldn’t be alive.’ ”
“One night I got lost in these stupid woods. I kept circling these acres, wishing you were here to find me.” Her eyes brimmed with tears.
“Denki,” she whispered, her hands trembling as she took it and put it on. For a brief moment he didn’t care what had kept them apart since he’d returned. He wanted only one thing: Rhoda. Even if she cared nothing for Samuel, could he and Rhoda ever have what they once had—new, fresh, innocent love?
He gestured toward the driveway at the front of the house. “I brought a rig for you. I thought maybe we’d go for a ride and talk.”
A faint smile curved her lips. “I’d like that.”
But he needed to know something first. “Samuel asked a question you didn’t answer.”
Her brows tightened. “When?”
Jacob pointed to the side of the house, where he’d been standing. “I got here about the same time as Samuel.”
She nodded, and he imagined she was trying to remember all that had been said. “And?”
“If it was all Samuel’s doing, why didn’t you just say that when I asked?”
Rhoda slid her hands into her coat pockets. “All three of us have to take responsibility for what happened. I grew careless, willing to get physically close without thinking what Samuel might be feeling. And we are close, Jacob. That’s the responsibility you need to take. You weren’t here when I needed you the most. You didn’t call or write. I had no way to reach you, and I spent months needing to share my burdens with someone. Then elation came when the drug investigation was over and the allegations were dropped. From the moment I got the news, you didn’t have to hide for my sake, not for one hour longer, but I still didn’t hear from you for a week. And that hurt. It really hurt.”
Jacob drew a deep breath. He needed a few moments to gain perspective before speaking. Her soft-spoken complaints stung.
When she was cleared, Jacob had written to her. Maybe he should’ve called. In their earlier phone conversations, like when he had to leave over Christmastime to help Sandra, Rhoda had sounded sad and lonely, and a call would have stolen their thunder of celebrating in person. But she never got his letter, and when he mentioned sending it, she’d thrown a bitter doubt in his lap. She probably didn’t remember half of what she’d said to him the day he came home and unearthed that she and Samuel had kissed. But the only thing that mattered at this point was how she felt now. If the last two weeks of living away from the farm had done nothing else, it should have given clarity to her mind and heart.
Jacob cleared his throat. “Is it just me? Am I hearing you wrong? Everything you’ve said since I realized what happened sounds as if you’re defending Samuel.”
Anger flashed through her eyes. “I’m not defending him!”
Until their clash over what had happened with Samuel, she’d never raised her voice to him. Had she lost all sense of who they were together?
She shifted. “Samuel is one-third wrong, and you just overheard my anger at him. But you have no idea what all I had to deal with while the senator’s wife used her skill and money to try to frame me. If you want to hate your brother for those five seconds, I won’t help you do it. But I’m asking you not to throw away all that the three of us are to each other, because we were caught in a situation none of us could prevent. Don’t toss us away because Samuel and I mishandled a few seconds. If we hadn’t become close, you would have had no need to hide for my sake, because I probably wouldn’t be alive.”
His heart jolted. “What?”
“There’s so much you don’t know.”
He continually learned more about what had taken place while he was gone, and it haunted him like a stalker he couldn’t escape. “Tell me what you meant by ‘wouldn’t be alive.’ ”
“One night I got lost in these stupid woods. I kept circling these acres, wishing you were here to find me.” Her eyes brimmed with tears.
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