love and pride, she was feeling a bit of that herself.
It was midnight and Mark couldn’t sleep. He kept glancing over at Traci who was sleeping peacefully, an angelic smile on her face. They were having a baby. The reality of that was still sinking in. Even still he marveled at all the changes that just that knowledge was bringing about.
He had always been protective of Traci but now he felt like he wanted to put her in a bubble where nothing could ever touch her let alone harm her. Something told him it was going to be even more intense when the baby arrived. He had to do everything in his power to protect them. Be eternally vigilant. Stop making stupid choices that could endanger any of them.
He sighed and flipped over on his side, wishing for a brief moment that he was religious. He would have appreciated being able to talk through and sort out the complicated feelings he was having with some supreme being who cared and listened. Perhaps for the first time in his life he truly understood those who embraced religion. He had always respected people like Cindy and Jeremiah, but deep down he’d never gotten it, thinking of religion as a crutch for those who needed it.
Now he realized he would give just about anything for something like that. He thought back over the past year and wondered how things might have been different if he had believed in something other than himself.
One thing Cindy and Jeremiah had done for him was to help open his eyes and show him just how complex faith and a relationship with God could be. Jeremiah killed bad people, Mark knew that. Until meeting Jeremiah he wouldn’t have thought someone like him could do that and then go right back to the synagogue and carry on with his rabbinical duties.
Cindy lived her faith as a real, living, breathing part of her life. It wasn’t just being in church on Sundays, singing some songs and reciting some prayers. She acted as though God played an active, integral part of her life. She was the walking epitome of the whole “work like everything depends on you and pray like everything depends on God” thing. He believed absolutely that her faith had gotten her through situations that would have made other people crumble. He also wondered sometimes if she lived a seemingly charmed life, escaping death repeatedly, because of her relationship with God. Maybe God wanted Cindy alive and therefore nothing could touch her.
It was a lot to think about. Now that he was going to be a father and responsible for a tiny life he couldn’t help but think about it though. Maybe the meaning of life was realizing that you were responsible not just to someone else but for someone else.
That was him. A father-to-be. Responsible. He needed to start acting like it.
He got up and Buster lifted his head from where he was laying on the foot of the bed. The beagle wagged his tail twice before dropping his head back down. It seemed Mark was the only one having trouble sleeping.
He paced out into the living room, trying to clear his head. There was just so much to think about and so much to do. They were going to need to set up a nursery. Bye-bye guest room. Not that anyone visited much. Occasionally one of Traci’s relatives would come to visit. Although with her sister getting more and more involved with the coven she had joined she came around a lot less than she used to. He knew Traci was worried about her and felt like her sister was changing, slipping away from her.
It happened in families all the time. Maybe not as dramatically, but still. He took a deep breath and vowed that he’d never let that happen with their child. They would always be close.
His own father hadn’t been the warmest of men and Mark was determined to break that cycle. He wanted to be there for his kid, go to soccer games or ballet recitals or whatever it was they were into. He wanted to laugh and play together, take them to their first baseball game.
A lump formed in his throat. The first
It was midnight and Mark couldn’t sleep. He kept glancing over at Traci who was sleeping peacefully, an angelic smile on her face. They were having a baby. The reality of that was still sinking in. Even still he marveled at all the changes that just that knowledge was bringing about.
He had always been protective of Traci but now he felt like he wanted to put her in a bubble where nothing could ever touch her let alone harm her. Something told him it was going to be even more intense when the baby arrived. He had to do everything in his power to protect them. Be eternally vigilant. Stop making stupid choices that could endanger any of them.
He sighed and flipped over on his side, wishing for a brief moment that he was religious. He would have appreciated being able to talk through and sort out the complicated feelings he was having with some supreme being who cared and listened. Perhaps for the first time in his life he truly understood those who embraced religion. He had always respected people like Cindy and Jeremiah, but deep down he’d never gotten it, thinking of religion as a crutch for those who needed it.
Now he realized he would give just about anything for something like that. He thought back over the past year and wondered how things might have been different if he had believed in something other than himself.
One thing Cindy and Jeremiah had done for him was to help open his eyes and show him just how complex faith and a relationship with God could be. Jeremiah killed bad people, Mark knew that. Until meeting Jeremiah he wouldn’t have thought someone like him could do that and then go right back to the synagogue and carry on with his rabbinical duties.
Cindy lived her faith as a real, living, breathing part of her life. It wasn’t just being in church on Sundays, singing some songs and reciting some prayers. She acted as though God played an active, integral part of her life. She was the walking epitome of the whole “work like everything depends on you and pray like everything depends on God” thing. He believed absolutely that her faith had gotten her through situations that would have made other people crumble. He also wondered sometimes if she lived a seemingly charmed life, escaping death repeatedly, because of her relationship with God. Maybe God wanted Cindy alive and therefore nothing could touch her.
It was a lot to think about. Now that he was going to be a father and responsible for a tiny life he couldn’t help but think about it though. Maybe the meaning of life was realizing that you were responsible not just to someone else but for someone else.
That was him. A father-to-be. Responsible. He needed to start acting like it.
He got up and Buster lifted his head from where he was laying on the foot of the bed. The beagle wagged his tail twice before dropping his head back down. It seemed Mark was the only one having trouble sleeping.
He paced out into the living room, trying to clear his head. There was just so much to think about and so much to do. They were going to need to set up a nursery. Bye-bye guest room. Not that anyone visited much. Occasionally one of Traci’s relatives would come to visit. Although with her sister getting more and more involved with the coven she had joined she came around a lot less than she used to. He knew Traci was worried about her and felt like her sister was changing, slipping away from her.
It happened in families all the time. Maybe not as dramatically, but still. He took a deep breath and vowed that he’d never let that happen with their child. They would always be close.
His own father hadn’t been the warmest of men and Mark was determined to break that cycle. He wanted to be there for his kid, go to soccer games or ballet recitals or whatever it was they were into. He wanted to laugh and play together, take them to their first baseball game.
A lump formed in his throat. The first
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