kick from all angles. He gave me an insane workout. I think I pissed him off. My hands, arms, legs, and feet were extremely tired. It was about three in the morning when we finally stopped.
“Let's take a break, Josiah.”
“What’s the matter, Papa Smurf? You tired?” I said, gasping for air. “I'm the one doing all the work.”
“Papa who?” Goshi asked.
“You never heard of the Smurfs? It used to be a Saturday morning cartoon back in the day.”
Goshi sat on a rock near the courtyard. His legs were small and pointy; his body and demeanor appeared to be beaten down from life. I wondered how old a creature like him could possibly be.
I sat on the grass and stretched my back in a sitting lotus position. “Why are you doing this, Goshi? What are you getting out of it?”
“I thought you didn't want to know about me,” he said, in a way that my assumptions that I hurt his feelings were correct.
“It's not like that at all,” I said, honestly. “I'm very curious about you. I just don't need to know all the behind the scenes crap. I don’t think that would benefit my attitude.”
“Behind the scenes crap? Are you really that selfish?” Goshi was really turned off by me.
I needed to save this. “Okay,” I asked. “What’s there to know?”
“Josiah, I have seen things and experienced heartache that you will never understand. You could walk the earth for a thousand years and never see the things I have seen with my own two eyes. You think the world revolves around you, because you were given this gift. A gift you didn’t even deserve. But the Triat shined their good will on you. All I can tell you is you need to show some appreciation for those who came before you.”
“It’s hard to appreciate a culture that every time I turn around one of them is trying to kill me.”
“That doesn’t change the fact a trail was blazed before you and now you have a task ahead of you. You can’t protect a future of a people if you don’t know anything about their past. You need to hear their stories. You need to feel the pain of their persecution. Someone like you doesn’t understand heartache, and until you do you won’t be a good leader.”
“I don’t understand heartache?” I yelled at Goshi. “Are you fucking kidding me? My entire family was taken away from me two years ago. I have had the life I once knew stripped away from me! Do you think for one second that if I didn’t know about heartache, I would even be here? Don’t you know that it’s my pain that drives me?”
Goshi stared at me for the longest time without saying a word. Then he mumbled, “You shouldn’t have called my life crap.”
“I didn't mean it like that.”
Goshi got up and walked out of the courtyard. I watched him as he went inside the actual castle from a side entrance.
Great, I hurt this guy's feelings. I wasn't trying to do that. I liked the little guy. He was a kickass teacher. I knew there was a depth to him beyond his blue surface. I sat on the ground and waited for him to return. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Was I supposed to go after him? That castle is huge, I could get lost in there.
I waited for him to return for about twenty minutes. I finally came to the conclusion that he wasn’t returning to the courtyard tonight. I suppose the little guy needed a proper apology from me. But the nerve of him to tell me that I don’t know about heartache. I am heartache.
So I got up off the ground and headed toward the side entrance of the castle that I saw Goshi go through. I walked into the castle and it felt like I had just gone into a time machine. The place must have looked exactly the same as it did hundreds of years ago. It was sensational how my dream was spot on with the details of the castle. The walls were grey with a very course finish. The floors were made of brick. Even the odor in my dream was accurate.
I couldn't help but get a sense of history that was in this place. I
“Let's take a break, Josiah.”
“What’s the matter, Papa Smurf? You tired?” I said, gasping for air. “I'm the one doing all the work.”
“Papa who?” Goshi asked.
“You never heard of the Smurfs? It used to be a Saturday morning cartoon back in the day.”
Goshi sat on a rock near the courtyard. His legs were small and pointy; his body and demeanor appeared to be beaten down from life. I wondered how old a creature like him could possibly be.
I sat on the grass and stretched my back in a sitting lotus position. “Why are you doing this, Goshi? What are you getting out of it?”
“I thought you didn't want to know about me,” he said, in a way that my assumptions that I hurt his feelings were correct.
“It's not like that at all,” I said, honestly. “I'm very curious about you. I just don't need to know all the behind the scenes crap. I don’t think that would benefit my attitude.”
“Behind the scenes crap? Are you really that selfish?” Goshi was really turned off by me.
I needed to save this. “Okay,” I asked. “What’s there to know?”
“Josiah, I have seen things and experienced heartache that you will never understand. You could walk the earth for a thousand years and never see the things I have seen with my own two eyes. You think the world revolves around you, because you were given this gift. A gift you didn’t even deserve. But the Triat shined their good will on you. All I can tell you is you need to show some appreciation for those who came before you.”
“It’s hard to appreciate a culture that every time I turn around one of them is trying to kill me.”
“That doesn’t change the fact a trail was blazed before you and now you have a task ahead of you. You can’t protect a future of a people if you don’t know anything about their past. You need to hear their stories. You need to feel the pain of their persecution. Someone like you doesn’t understand heartache, and until you do you won’t be a good leader.”
“I don’t understand heartache?” I yelled at Goshi. “Are you fucking kidding me? My entire family was taken away from me two years ago. I have had the life I once knew stripped away from me! Do you think for one second that if I didn’t know about heartache, I would even be here? Don’t you know that it’s my pain that drives me?”
Goshi stared at me for the longest time without saying a word. Then he mumbled, “You shouldn’t have called my life crap.”
“I didn't mean it like that.”
Goshi got up and walked out of the courtyard. I watched him as he went inside the actual castle from a side entrance.
Great, I hurt this guy's feelings. I wasn't trying to do that. I liked the little guy. He was a kickass teacher. I knew there was a depth to him beyond his blue surface. I sat on the ground and waited for him to return. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Was I supposed to go after him? That castle is huge, I could get lost in there.
I waited for him to return for about twenty minutes. I finally came to the conclusion that he wasn’t returning to the courtyard tonight. I suppose the little guy needed a proper apology from me. But the nerve of him to tell me that I don’t know about heartache. I am heartache.
So I got up off the ground and headed toward the side entrance of the castle that I saw Goshi go through. I walked into the castle and it felt like I had just gone into a time machine. The place must have looked exactly the same as it did hundreds of years ago. It was sensational how my dream was spot on with the details of the castle. The walls were grey with a very course finish. The floors were made of brick. Even the odor in my dream was accurate.
I couldn't help but get a sense of history that was in this place. I
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