myself, I needed to be strong. I had to believe that I would see Aidan again. Giving up now only meant that Christopher had won. And I didn’t want that arrogant bastard to win. I wouldn’t let him get the best of me, I wouldn’t let him break me. I was better than that.
There were so many girls here, so many girls that were in the same situation as me. Some of them were probably in a far worse situation. Christopher seemed to be spooked by me, and maybe, just maybe that would work in my favour. The others weren’t that lucky, so maybe I could do some good. Helping others would help me stay sane, and it would stop me from losing all hope. The hope that Aidan would come for me, that he would still love me. The hope that I would live to see him again. I had so many wishes, hopes and dreams that I needed to cling to. Helping others would just keep me on track. And I would do whatever it took to get there in the end.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Aidan
Two Years Later
The time since Bella disappeared seemed to stretch on and on. The more time that passed, days, weeks, months, years, the less likely it seemed that I would find her. Desperation was beginning to set in, but I would never share that with anyone else. I couldn’t, the loss of her was my burden to bear, it belonged to no one but me and it would stay that way.
I was starting to forget small things about her. Did she tuck her hair behind her left ear, or was it always her right? I knew what perfume she favoured and yet, when I smelled it, it wasn’t the same as her. Or at least I didn’t think it was. I couldn’t be sure of anything anymore. The reality of Bella was slipping away from me and it was taking a piece of my soul with it.
I glanced over my reflection in the mirror, my hand drifting over the new haircut I’d given myself. The hair was cropped so close to my head now that it felt more like stubble than actual hair. I’d even considered taking a razor to what remained. It felt better this way. If I was forgetting her, then I needed to change. I wasn’t the young desperate detective anymore. I was harder. I knew it within myself.
At first I’d fought the change but not anymore. Now it was apart of me. Losing her had taken the softer side of me. All that was left was a hard shell of a man who was desperate to get her back. And struggling to come to terms with the fact that I might never find her.
So much time had passed, and Christopher had never been known to keep girls past a certain amount of time. The thought of Bella’s body buried somewhere, an unmarked grave… Her final moments a blur of terror and pain and pleading… Pleading for the man that had failed her, it almost crippled me. Agony ripped through my gut and yet outwardly the only sign of my anguish was a slight tightening around my mouth. I had become professional at hiding what I truly felt. And it was a good thing. The less people saw of the real me, the more I could manipulate them for my own use.
Thomas had been good to me, but his plan was taking far too long. It was almost as though he felt afraid to truly make a move against his half brother. I could practically see the guilt he felt, mirrored in his eyes every time I brought up the idea of finishing this. Deep down he knew the truth. He knew what Christopher had done to Rebecca. There was nothing… Not trail to follow. It was as though she had simply vanished.
Vanished like Bella. Christopher was simply too good at covering his tracks, he left nothing behind to find, nothing to trace back to him. Just gone.
I straightened the black tie I wore as the cell phone of the bedside locker began to buzz. I scooped it up and lifted it to my ear, I expected to hear Thomas’ excited voice on the other end. He’d put everything else on hold to get married. A part of me was happy for him, he was a nice guy, he deserved a happy ending. But a greater part of me, the
There were so many girls here, so many girls that were in the same situation as me. Some of them were probably in a far worse situation. Christopher seemed to be spooked by me, and maybe, just maybe that would work in my favour. The others weren’t that lucky, so maybe I could do some good. Helping others would help me stay sane, and it would stop me from losing all hope. The hope that Aidan would come for me, that he would still love me. The hope that I would live to see him again. I had so many wishes, hopes and dreams that I needed to cling to. Helping others would just keep me on track. And I would do whatever it took to get there in the end.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Aidan
Two Years Later
The time since Bella disappeared seemed to stretch on and on. The more time that passed, days, weeks, months, years, the less likely it seemed that I would find her. Desperation was beginning to set in, but I would never share that with anyone else. I couldn’t, the loss of her was my burden to bear, it belonged to no one but me and it would stay that way.
I was starting to forget small things about her. Did she tuck her hair behind her left ear, or was it always her right? I knew what perfume she favoured and yet, when I smelled it, it wasn’t the same as her. Or at least I didn’t think it was. I couldn’t be sure of anything anymore. The reality of Bella was slipping away from me and it was taking a piece of my soul with it.
I glanced over my reflection in the mirror, my hand drifting over the new haircut I’d given myself. The hair was cropped so close to my head now that it felt more like stubble than actual hair. I’d even considered taking a razor to what remained. It felt better this way. If I was forgetting her, then I needed to change. I wasn’t the young desperate detective anymore. I was harder. I knew it within myself.
At first I’d fought the change but not anymore. Now it was apart of me. Losing her had taken the softer side of me. All that was left was a hard shell of a man who was desperate to get her back. And struggling to come to terms with the fact that I might never find her.
So much time had passed, and Christopher had never been known to keep girls past a certain amount of time. The thought of Bella’s body buried somewhere, an unmarked grave… Her final moments a blur of terror and pain and pleading… Pleading for the man that had failed her, it almost crippled me. Agony ripped through my gut and yet outwardly the only sign of my anguish was a slight tightening around my mouth. I had become professional at hiding what I truly felt. And it was a good thing. The less people saw of the real me, the more I could manipulate them for my own use.
Thomas had been good to me, but his plan was taking far too long. It was almost as though he felt afraid to truly make a move against his half brother. I could practically see the guilt he felt, mirrored in his eyes every time I brought up the idea of finishing this. Deep down he knew the truth. He knew what Christopher had done to Rebecca. There was nothing… Not trail to follow. It was as though she had simply vanished.
Vanished like Bella. Christopher was simply too good at covering his tracks, he left nothing behind to find, nothing to trace back to him. Just gone.
I straightened the black tie I wore as the cell phone of the bedside locker began to buzz. I scooped it up and lifted it to my ear, I expected to hear Thomas’ excited voice on the other end. He’d put everything else on hold to get married. A part of me was happy for him, he was a nice guy, he deserved a happy ending. But a greater part of me, the
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