moment. Two and three.
Warner takes a deep breath. A million more. Right hand over left, spinning the jade
ring on his pinkie finger over and over and over and over “It’s over,” he says.
“What?”
I say the word but my lips make no sound. I’m numb, somehow. Blinking and seeing nothing.
“It’s over,” he says again.
“No.”
I exhale the word, exhale the impossibility.
He nods. He’s disagreeing with me.
“No.”
“Juliette.”
“No,” I say. “No. No. Don’t be stupid,” I say to him. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I say
to him. “ Don’t lie to me goddamn you ,” but now my voice is high and broken and shaking and “No,” I gasp, “no, no, no —”
I actually stand up this time. My eyes are filling fast with tears and I blink and
blink but the world is a mess and I want to laugh because all I can think is how horrible
and beautiful it is, that our eyes blur the truth when we can’t bear to see it.
The ground is hard.
I know this to be an actual fact because it’s suddenly pressed against my face and
Warner is trying to touch me but I think I scream and slap his hands away because
I already know the answer. I must already know the answer because I can feel the revulsion
bubbling up and unsettling my insides but I ask anyway. I’m horizontal and somehow
still tipping over and the holes in my head are tearing open and I’m staring at a
spot on the carpet not ten feet away and I’m not sure I’m even alive but I have to
hear him say it.
“Why?” I ask.
It’s just a word, stupid and simple.
“Why is the battle over?” I ask. I’m not breathing anymore, not really speaking at
all; just expelling letters through my lips.
Warner is not looking at me.
He’s looking at the wall and at the floor and at the bedsheets and at the way his
knuckles look when he clenches his fists but no not at me he won’t look at me and
his next words are so, so soft.
“Because they’re dead, love. They’re all dead.”
TWO
My body locks.
My bones, my blood, my brain freeze in place, seizing in some kind of sudden, uncontrollable
paralysis that spreads through me so quickly I can’t seem to breathe. I’m wheezing
in deep, strained inhalations, and the walls won’t stop swaying in front of me.
Warner pulls me into his arms.
“Let go of me,” I scream, but, oh, only in my imagination because my lips are finished
working and my heart has just expired and my mind has gone to hell for the day and
my eyes my eyes I think they’re bleeding. Warner is whispering words of comfort I
can’t hear and his arms are wrapped entirely around me, trying to keep me together
through sheer physical force but it’s no use.
I feel nothing.
Warner is shushing me, rocking me back and forth, and it’s only then that I realize
I’m making the most excruciating, earsplitting sound, agony ripping through me. I
want to speak, to protest, to accuse Warner, to blame him, to call him a liar, but
I can say nothing, can form nothing but sounds so pitiful I’m almost ashamed of myself.
I break free of his arms, gasping and doubling over, clutching my stomach.
“Adam.” I choke on his name.
“Juliette, please—”
“Kenji.” I’m hyperventilating into the carpet now.
“Please, love, let me help you—”
“What about James?” I hear myself say. “He was left at Omega Point—he wasn’t a-allowed
to c-come—”
“It’s all been destroyed,” Warner says slowly, quietly. “Everything. They tortured
some of your members into giving away the exact location of Omega Point. Then they
bombed the entire thing.”
“Oh, God .” I cover my mouth with one hand and stare, unblinking, at the ceiling.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”
“Liar,” I whisper, venom in my voice. I’m angry and mean and I can’t be bothered to
care. “You’re not sorry at all.”
I glance at Warner just long enough to see the
Warner takes a deep breath. A million more. Right hand over left, spinning the jade
ring on his pinkie finger over and over and over and over “It’s over,” he says.
“What?”
I say the word but my lips make no sound. I’m numb, somehow. Blinking and seeing nothing.
“It’s over,” he says again.
“No.”
I exhale the word, exhale the impossibility.
He nods. He’s disagreeing with me.
“No.”
“Juliette.”
“No,” I say. “No. No. Don’t be stupid,” I say to him. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I say
to him. “ Don’t lie to me goddamn you ,” but now my voice is high and broken and shaking and “No,” I gasp, “no, no, no —”
I actually stand up this time. My eyes are filling fast with tears and I blink and
blink but the world is a mess and I want to laugh because all I can think is how horrible
and beautiful it is, that our eyes blur the truth when we can’t bear to see it.
The ground is hard.
I know this to be an actual fact because it’s suddenly pressed against my face and
Warner is trying to touch me but I think I scream and slap his hands away because
I already know the answer. I must already know the answer because I can feel the revulsion
bubbling up and unsettling my insides but I ask anyway. I’m horizontal and somehow
still tipping over and the holes in my head are tearing open and I’m staring at a
spot on the carpet not ten feet away and I’m not sure I’m even alive but I have to
hear him say it.
“Why?” I ask.
It’s just a word, stupid and simple.
“Why is the battle over?” I ask. I’m not breathing anymore, not really speaking at
all; just expelling letters through my lips.
Warner is not looking at me.
He’s looking at the wall and at the floor and at the bedsheets and at the way his
knuckles look when he clenches his fists but no not at me he won’t look at me and
his next words are so, so soft.
“Because they’re dead, love. They’re all dead.”
TWO
My body locks.
My bones, my blood, my brain freeze in place, seizing in some kind of sudden, uncontrollable
paralysis that spreads through me so quickly I can’t seem to breathe. I’m wheezing
in deep, strained inhalations, and the walls won’t stop swaying in front of me.
Warner pulls me into his arms.
“Let go of me,” I scream, but, oh, only in my imagination because my lips are finished
working and my heart has just expired and my mind has gone to hell for the day and
my eyes my eyes I think they’re bleeding. Warner is whispering words of comfort I
can’t hear and his arms are wrapped entirely around me, trying to keep me together
through sheer physical force but it’s no use.
I feel nothing.
Warner is shushing me, rocking me back and forth, and it’s only then that I realize
I’m making the most excruciating, earsplitting sound, agony ripping through me. I
want to speak, to protest, to accuse Warner, to blame him, to call him a liar, but
I can say nothing, can form nothing but sounds so pitiful I’m almost ashamed of myself.
I break free of his arms, gasping and doubling over, clutching my stomach.
“Adam.” I choke on his name.
“Juliette, please—”
“Kenji.” I’m hyperventilating into the carpet now.
“Please, love, let me help you—”
“What about James?” I hear myself say. “He was left at Omega Point—he wasn’t a-allowed
to c-come—”
“It’s all been destroyed,” Warner says slowly, quietly. “Everything. They tortured
some of your members into giving away the exact location of Omega Point. Then they
bombed the entire thing.”
“Oh, God .” I cover my mouth with one hand and stare, unblinking, at the ceiling.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”
“Liar,” I whisper, venom in my voice. I’m angry and mean and I can’t be bothered to
care. “You’re not sorry at all.”
I glance at Warner just long enough to see the
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