Free Agent by Lolah Lace Page A

Oh snap this douche asked Uncle about his wife right here in front of Kari. Everybody was staring at Uncle, waiting for his time bomb’s clock to tick out.
    The explosion never happened. Uncle Mason was cool . He had a weird smirk on his face like he had a secret. For reals, three out of the four of us had a secret. Jack was out of the mix.
    “Tess is great. My entire family is great. I see you and Kari are still going strong. ” Uncle boastfully replied. 
    Although Uncle hadn’t really said much, what he said agitated Jack. Kari was staring at Uncle. She was friggin’ nervous as hell. It was friggin’ funny seeing a black woman turn white. 
    Jack looked nervous and goofy . “Me and Kari are solid. I love her enough to prove it.” Now this clown was taking jabs at my Uncle.
    “Really?” Uncle Mason grinned.
    “Really, I had the balls to leave my wife for the woman I love. Some of us are all talk and no a ction.” This asshole is on some Chicago Bennie the bullshit. My Uncle could knock him out with one punch.
    I started silently counting to myself. Counting off how long it would take for Uncle Mason to put the smackdown on surf and turf. 
    There was no punch, no violence at all. There was just this weird old man stare-down. I don’t know what Uncle was thinking but I was thinking that he was getting more and more heated by the minute. I knew that look in his eyes. I said some vulgar words in the presence Grandma Rizza once at Thanksgiving dinner. It was when I was fourteen. Uncle Mason grabbed me by my neck, took me in the backyard and gut punched me. I flew down to my knees and it took me friggin’ ten minutes to get back on my feet. 
    “Uncle Mace, it’s time we jet.” I just saved this Jack character from a little Italy smackdown. Uncle would have definitely rearranged his pretty face if he had said another word. All three of them were in some zombie trance until I spoke.
    Uncle Mason smirked. He was back to normal . He looked over at terrified Kari. “Nice to see you again Kari.” Uncle purposely turned to Jack. “And Jack it’s always a pleasure.”
    Uncle Mason strolled away like a true pimp. He didn’t even have to slap any hoes. I followed him out to his Range Rover. He was real quiet and I knew to keep my trap shut. Kari had rattled my uncle’s swag. He was still swagtastic for an old dude but she was holding on to a good thirty percent of it.
    Uncle dropped me off at home after writing me a check. He didn’t have any more speeches left in him. He just handed over the check and waited for me to get out. I kind of felt bad but I didn’t know what to say.
    The next morning I woke up elated. I had the funds to get rid of Selena, aka clingy, hashtag goofy, at rat groupie dotcom. Why are girls trying to have my baby? I’m a handsome guy but geez. I’m a pimp. I’m not boyfriend material. Nobody can lock me down. Well Deja could but she’s running in the opposite direction.
    I had two goals for today, make this termination of pregnancy appointment and cash the check Uncle Mason gave me. I wished I cared more but girls with low self-esteem were a complete turn off. I’m not Dr. Phil. Whatever daddy issues these girls have are not my business.
    Uncle Mason didn’t say anything about me having to pay him back. If I would have asked Uncle Mike he would have blabbed it to everybody in the family. His wife Melissa holds the purse strings. I can barely get five dollars out of him for a number one on the McDonald’s lunch menu. I got to the office at ten. Mike was already there. He opened up the place most times. Uncle Mike was sitting behind the desk probably working. I grabbed a chair and took a spot next to him.
    He wasn’t working. He was playing internet poker on the iPad. I joined in the fun. Ten minutes later Uncle Mason walked in. Shit I’m glad I got to work before he did. I looked up at Uncle and I could see he was in a mood.
    “I hope you guys are n ot playing poker on my time.”