she asks Jack what he’s laughing at. She squeezes herself in between the two of us and he says, “I can’t even remember now that you’re here.”
The look on her face is priceless, and I chuckle under my breath. She has no clue how to respond when guys say sweet things to her. She always gets so embarrassed, and Jack is completely clueless.
It’s getting late, so Kimber and I call it a night. Candace decides to stay a little while longer with Jack, so we say our goodbyes and head out. Walking out to the parking lot, I notice Mark heading to his car. I turn to Kimber and say, “Hey, I’ll catch you later, okay?”
“Yeah, have a good night,” she says as she turns to her car.
I’m not sure what I’m doing or what I’m gonna say, but I call out, “Mark.”
He turns around, and when he looks at me, he shakes his head and says, “We’ve got nothing to talk about, man.”
“Wait. Just give me a second.” I hate feeling like I have been for the past couple of weeks, and I figure if I can be honest with my parents, then I can be honest with him. He deserves an explanation and an apology.
He leans against his car and folds his arms across his chest as I approach. Clearly he’s still pissed. But what he does to me when I’m around him is something that I can’t explain. I feel it in my chest, it courses through me, and suddenly I’m nervous.
“Can I just explain myself?” I ask as I step in front of him.
“I don’t really think there is anything you could say at this point.”
Dropping my head, I take a second before looking into his eyes, and I instantly feel a need to beg him for another chance. I’m not quite sure where this is coming from, but I take a huge leap and follow my heart. “I know ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough, but I am. I really fucked up.”
I step to move beside him and lean up against the car next to him. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I make my confession. “I was scared.”
When I say this, Mark finally turns his head and looks at me.
I continue, “I was scared because I’ve never done this before. I’ve never wanted to be around another guy the way I want to be around you. The thing is . . . I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing.”
“Why couldn’t you just talk to me?”
“Because it wasn’t until I met you that I realized I was terrified to admit that I’m gay.” I stop, trying to find the words to explain myself. “I mean, I’ve always known, but the idea of a relationship just seemed too defining, and I wasn’t sure I was ready. I . . . a part of me is still really uncomfortable with this,” I admit.
“So what does that have to do with you making out with Kyle?”
“I didn’t know how to talk to you, so it was my fucked up way of destroying whatever it was that we had going on so that I didn’t have to deal with it.” I am nothing but honest with him, and although I could just be pissing him off even more, I feel like I owe him this.
He turns his head away from me and focuses straight forward. I notice his clenched jaw, but I stay quiet, waiting for some kind of response. Keeping his eyes ahead, he says, “I really liked you, you know?”
“I’m sorry.”
He surprises me when he reveals, “I still really like you.”
My heart thuds hard in my chest when he tells me this. He still doesn’t look at me, but I decide to return his honesty and tell him, “I flew home and told my parents last weekend. I never told them before because I was afraid of what that meant for me.”
He looks at me when I say this and takes a moment before responding. “You don’t have to explain. I’ve been there. I felt the same way.”
I nod my head and finally realize that if only I would have been honest with him, he possibly could have really helped me. Maybe he still can.
“What did they say?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I turn to look away from him when I say, “It’s over. They threw me out, told me not to come back or call.” When I turn
The look on her face is priceless, and I chuckle under my breath. She has no clue how to respond when guys say sweet things to her. She always gets so embarrassed, and Jack is completely clueless.
It’s getting late, so Kimber and I call it a night. Candace decides to stay a little while longer with Jack, so we say our goodbyes and head out. Walking out to the parking lot, I notice Mark heading to his car. I turn to Kimber and say, “Hey, I’ll catch you later, okay?”
“Yeah, have a good night,” she says as she turns to her car.
I’m not sure what I’m doing or what I’m gonna say, but I call out, “Mark.”
He turns around, and when he looks at me, he shakes his head and says, “We’ve got nothing to talk about, man.”
“Wait. Just give me a second.” I hate feeling like I have been for the past couple of weeks, and I figure if I can be honest with my parents, then I can be honest with him. He deserves an explanation and an apology.
He leans against his car and folds his arms across his chest as I approach. Clearly he’s still pissed. But what he does to me when I’m around him is something that I can’t explain. I feel it in my chest, it courses through me, and suddenly I’m nervous.
“Can I just explain myself?” I ask as I step in front of him.
“I don’t really think there is anything you could say at this point.”
Dropping my head, I take a second before looking into his eyes, and I instantly feel a need to beg him for another chance. I’m not quite sure where this is coming from, but I take a huge leap and follow my heart. “I know ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough, but I am. I really fucked up.”
I step to move beside him and lean up against the car next to him. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I make my confession. “I was scared.”
When I say this, Mark finally turns his head and looks at me.
I continue, “I was scared because I’ve never done this before. I’ve never wanted to be around another guy the way I want to be around you. The thing is . . . I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing.”
“Why couldn’t you just talk to me?”
“Because it wasn’t until I met you that I realized I was terrified to admit that I’m gay.” I stop, trying to find the words to explain myself. “I mean, I’ve always known, but the idea of a relationship just seemed too defining, and I wasn’t sure I was ready. I . . . a part of me is still really uncomfortable with this,” I admit.
“So what does that have to do with you making out with Kyle?”
“I didn’t know how to talk to you, so it was my fucked up way of destroying whatever it was that we had going on so that I didn’t have to deal with it.” I am nothing but honest with him, and although I could just be pissing him off even more, I feel like I owe him this.
He turns his head away from me and focuses straight forward. I notice his clenched jaw, but I stay quiet, waiting for some kind of response. Keeping his eyes ahead, he says, “I really liked you, you know?”
“I’m sorry.”
He surprises me when he reveals, “I still really like you.”
My heart thuds hard in my chest when he tells me this. He still doesn’t look at me, but I decide to return his honesty and tell him, “I flew home and told my parents last weekend. I never told them before because I was afraid of what that meant for me.”
He looks at me when I say this and takes a moment before responding. “You don’t have to explain. I’ve been there. I felt the same way.”
I nod my head and finally realize that if only I would have been honest with him, he possibly could have really helped me. Maybe he still can.
“What did they say?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I turn to look away from him when I say, “It’s over. They threw me out, told me not to come back or call.” When I turn
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