an oil stain. Or a wart.
“Look, McGlade, if I asked you to come over to my house right now, as a personal favor, would you do it?”
“No can do to night, Jackie. I’ve got a date with a very special lady. Very special. And if I cancel without giving her twenty-four hours notice, she charges my credit card anyway.”
I glance at Alex. She rolls her eyes, then points her gun at Mom. Even though I don’t have anything left in my stomach, I feel it rumble.
“Harry, I… I broke up with my boyfriend. I’m feeling kind of alone, kind of vulnerable.”
“I get it. You’re a chick, so you need to get laid to feel loved. I’m happy to step up to the plate.”
That hurts to even think about.
“I just need a friend right now. Can you come over?”
“For sex, right? I don’t want to be one of those guys, you cry on his shoulder, piss and moan for two hours, then I leave with snot on my tie and a trouser trout I have to smack around during the car ride home.”
Someone owed me an Academy Award, because somehow I say, “Yes, Harry McGlade. I want to have sex with you.”
Come on, you big dummy. You know there has to be something wrong.
“Pardon my skepticism, Jackie, but that didn’t sound right to me.”
Thatta boy, McGlade. Reason it out.
“Can you ask again?” Harry continues. “But using dirty words?”
Unbelievable.
“Just come over,” I say.
“You mean make like Ward Cleaver and discipline the Beaver?”
“Yes, Harry.”
“Say it.”
Even if he saves my life, I’m still going to kill him.
“Come over, Harry, and discipline the Beaver.”
“Are you drunk, Jackie? Is liquor impairing your judgment? Because I’m fine with that.”
“I’m not drunk, Harry. I just need you here.”
“I knew it. I knew those years of insults and dirty looks masked your true feelings. And I want you to know, the feeling is mutual. In fact, back when we rode together, and you got out of the car first, I’d sometimes lean over and sniff your seat.”
Alex has to put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.
“Just make sure you bring protection,” I say.
A gun, asshole. Bring a gun.
“Message received. Leave the front door unlocked. If I get there and you’re already passed out, I’m hopping on anyway.”
He disconnects. Does he know I’m in trouble? Is he playing along? Or does he really think he’s going to get laid?
“Nice work, Jack. Now let’s try another one. That intense guy with the killer abs. Phineas Troutt. I owe him too.”
I stare at Alex. Her scarred face offers no reprieve. No pity. She’s a monster.
But she’s a monster who wants something from me, which gives me just a tiny bit of leeway. If I got in touch with Phin, all I’ll have left to offer Alex is my pain and suffering. Best to stall that for as long as I can.
“Where’s Latham?” I try to sound scared, which doesn’t require any acting.
“Ahh, yes. Where is loverboy? I noticed he wore a ring. You too. When is the wedding, Jack?” She bats her eyes, but the scarred one simply twitches. “Can I be your maid of honor?”
“Where is he?”
Alex makes a show of looking at her watch.
“He’s in the garage. How much air do you think is in one of those kitchen garbage bags? Think there’s twenty minutes’ worth?”
I bolt, running across the kitchen, heading for the door to the garage. My hands are behind my back, so I have to spin around to turn the knob. Alex doesn’t run after me. She stays in the kitchen, hands on her hips, looking vaguely amused.
I manage to pull open the door, and find Latham in the middle of the garage, lying on the floor next to a giant stack of boxes. A white plastic garbage bag is over his head, duct tape wrapped around his neck.
He’s completely still.
I run to him, drop to my knees, scooting around and grabbing the bag along with some of his hair. I dig my fingers in and pull. The plastic stretches, tears.
“Latham! Latham, please answer me!”
I feel him
“Look, McGlade, if I asked you to come over to my house right now, as a personal favor, would you do it?”
“No can do to night, Jackie. I’ve got a date with a very special lady. Very special. And if I cancel without giving her twenty-four hours notice, she charges my credit card anyway.”
I glance at Alex. She rolls her eyes, then points her gun at Mom. Even though I don’t have anything left in my stomach, I feel it rumble.
“Harry, I… I broke up with my boyfriend. I’m feeling kind of alone, kind of vulnerable.”
“I get it. You’re a chick, so you need to get laid to feel loved. I’m happy to step up to the plate.”
That hurts to even think about.
“I just need a friend right now. Can you come over?”
“For sex, right? I don’t want to be one of those guys, you cry on his shoulder, piss and moan for two hours, then I leave with snot on my tie and a trouser trout I have to smack around during the car ride home.”
Someone owed me an Academy Award, because somehow I say, “Yes, Harry McGlade. I want to have sex with you.”
Come on, you big dummy. You know there has to be something wrong.
“Pardon my skepticism, Jackie, but that didn’t sound right to me.”
Thatta boy, McGlade. Reason it out.
“Can you ask again?” Harry continues. “But using dirty words?”
Unbelievable.
“Just come over,” I say.
“You mean make like Ward Cleaver and discipline the Beaver?”
“Yes, Harry.”
“Say it.”
Even if he saves my life, I’m still going to kill him.
“Come over, Harry, and discipline the Beaver.”
“Are you drunk, Jackie? Is liquor impairing your judgment? Because I’m fine with that.”
“I’m not drunk, Harry. I just need you here.”
“I knew it. I knew those years of insults and dirty looks masked your true feelings. And I want you to know, the feeling is mutual. In fact, back when we rode together, and you got out of the car first, I’d sometimes lean over and sniff your seat.”
Alex has to put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.
“Just make sure you bring protection,” I say.
A gun, asshole. Bring a gun.
“Message received. Leave the front door unlocked. If I get there and you’re already passed out, I’m hopping on anyway.”
He disconnects. Does he know I’m in trouble? Is he playing along? Or does he really think he’s going to get laid?
“Nice work, Jack. Now let’s try another one. That intense guy with the killer abs. Phineas Troutt. I owe him too.”
I stare at Alex. Her scarred face offers no reprieve. No pity. She’s a monster.
But she’s a monster who wants something from me, which gives me just a tiny bit of leeway. If I got in touch with Phin, all I’ll have left to offer Alex is my pain and suffering. Best to stall that for as long as I can.
“Where’s Latham?” I try to sound scared, which doesn’t require any acting.
“Ahh, yes. Where is loverboy? I noticed he wore a ring. You too. When is the wedding, Jack?” She bats her eyes, but the scarred one simply twitches. “Can I be your maid of honor?”
“Where is he?”
Alex makes a show of looking at her watch.
“He’s in the garage. How much air do you think is in one of those kitchen garbage bags? Think there’s twenty minutes’ worth?”
I bolt, running across the kitchen, heading for the door to the garage. My hands are behind my back, so I have to spin around to turn the knob. Alex doesn’t run after me. She stays in the kitchen, hands on her hips, looking vaguely amused.
I manage to pull open the door, and find Latham in the middle of the garage, lying on the floor next to a giant stack of boxes. A white plastic garbage bag is over his head, duct tape wrapped around his neck.
He’s completely still.
I run to him, drop to my knees, scooting around and grabbing the bag along with some of his hair. I dig my fingers in and pull. The plastic stretches, tears.
“Latham! Latham, please answer me!”
I feel him
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