always such a charming man at church, so ready to lend a hand! He always has a kind word. That just can’t be true!”
Gastien dropped his shirt but left his coat off. The day was warming up nicely. “Well, Matt, I did not put those scars on my back. Do you think I would allow one of my siblings to do that to me? Or, maybe it was my mother! All ninety pounds of her!” he laughed bitterly. “I am sorry to have shown you. Of course, I should have known you would not believe me. All the farmers in the area are in awe of the great Jean Beauchamp. Let’s just drop it.”
Matt could see that Gastien was telling the truth, but it was so hard to believe! Then he saw that Gastien was trying mighty hard not to allow tears to come. Matt all of a sudden realized that the scars he had been shown were only the evidence left behind from one of many beatings. It was his turn to feel ashamed for talking so quickly without thinking. “I am sorry, Gastien. I spoke without thinking. If you say your father beat you, then he beat you. Oh, how awful for you! Did this happen more than once?”
Again Gastien tried to laugh, but it came out sounding like a croak. “More than once? Monsieur, I lost count of the beatings by the time I was ten. The scars simply are the result of one beating that got out of hand, even for my father.”
“But, why? What on earth would make a father do that do his son?” Matt exclaimed.
“To be fair, I am not the only one. He hit Mother many times, too. And my siblings. They just did not get the beatings I got, because they don’t stand up to him. They don’t have the desire to be different. I am, unfortunately, different from the rest. I have a different dream, and I refused to give it up. I was willing to die at my father’s hands, rather than bow to his authority on matters regarding my future. My father equates men who paint and draw with homosexuals and libertines. He called me the worst of names, and many times tried to humiliate me by calling me a girl or a conne . I did not care. I know I am a man. I have no interest in men that way. But it grates on a person to be verbally lashed, worse than physical beatings. I finally had enough.”
Matt was dumbfounded. How had Jean fooled everyone for so long? The worst thing was he could do nothing about it. To call him out would humiliate Marguerite. She was a good, decent woman. Her life evidently had been hard enough. To be known publicly as a whipping block and that she “allowed” her children to be beaten would be wrong. Many men did hit their wives and use physical force on offspring to get them to obey. But, not like this! What Jean had done and said to Gastien was simply unforgivable! How could a man call his son names like that? How could he erode a boy’s self esteem like that, if he loved the boy at all?
“Gastien, I am so very, very sorry that you grew up like that – “
Gastien’s face burned with embarrassment. “Stop it, Matt! I was not looking for pity. You simply wanted to know why I was leaving, and I showed you. When you did not believe me, I elaborated. That is all. I don’t expect you to kiss my back and make it better.”
Matt placed his hand on Gastien’s shoulder. He immediately felt the shoulder stiffen.
“Take your hand off of me, please,” hissed Gastien. “My father was wrong! If you think I am somehow like a girl, and you can do things to me, I will knock you out of this wagon right now! I don’t care if it is your wagon or not!”
Matt jerked his hand back, shocked. “Oh, Mon Dieu ! Did you think I was trying to be intimate with you? Oh, Gastien, non ! I apologize. I did not realize that you must not have known any positive physical contact with your father. I should have thought of that before trying to comfort you. Again, please, I am sorry to have scared you!”
Gastien could see that Matt was sincere. After a few minutes, he said “Apology accepted. You are right. I have not experienced any warmth
Gastien dropped his shirt but left his coat off. The day was warming up nicely. “Well, Matt, I did not put those scars on my back. Do you think I would allow one of my siblings to do that to me? Or, maybe it was my mother! All ninety pounds of her!” he laughed bitterly. “I am sorry to have shown you. Of course, I should have known you would not believe me. All the farmers in the area are in awe of the great Jean Beauchamp. Let’s just drop it.”
Matt could see that Gastien was telling the truth, but it was so hard to believe! Then he saw that Gastien was trying mighty hard not to allow tears to come. Matt all of a sudden realized that the scars he had been shown were only the evidence left behind from one of many beatings. It was his turn to feel ashamed for talking so quickly without thinking. “I am sorry, Gastien. I spoke without thinking. If you say your father beat you, then he beat you. Oh, how awful for you! Did this happen more than once?”
Again Gastien tried to laugh, but it came out sounding like a croak. “More than once? Monsieur, I lost count of the beatings by the time I was ten. The scars simply are the result of one beating that got out of hand, even for my father.”
“But, why? What on earth would make a father do that do his son?” Matt exclaimed.
“To be fair, I am not the only one. He hit Mother many times, too. And my siblings. They just did not get the beatings I got, because they don’t stand up to him. They don’t have the desire to be different. I am, unfortunately, different from the rest. I have a different dream, and I refused to give it up. I was willing to die at my father’s hands, rather than bow to his authority on matters regarding my future. My father equates men who paint and draw with homosexuals and libertines. He called me the worst of names, and many times tried to humiliate me by calling me a girl or a conne . I did not care. I know I am a man. I have no interest in men that way. But it grates on a person to be verbally lashed, worse than physical beatings. I finally had enough.”
Matt was dumbfounded. How had Jean fooled everyone for so long? The worst thing was he could do nothing about it. To call him out would humiliate Marguerite. She was a good, decent woman. Her life evidently had been hard enough. To be known publicly as a whipping block and that she “allowed” her children to be beaten would be wrong. Many men did hit their wives and use physical force on offspring to get them to obey. But, not like this! What Jean had done and said to Gastien was simply unforgivable! How could a man call his son names like that? How could he erode a boy’s self esteem like that, if he loved the boy at all?
“Gastien, I am so very, very sorry that you grew up like that – “
Gastien’s face burned with embarrassment. “Stop it, Matt! I was not looking for pity. You simply wanted to know why I was leaving, and I showed you. When you did not believe me, I elaborated. That is all. I don’t expect you to kiss my back and make it better.”
Matt placed his hand on Gastien’s shoulder. He immediately felt the shoulder stiffen.
“Take your hand off of me, please,” hissed Gastien. “My father was wrong! If you think I am somehow like a girl, and you can do things to me, I will knock you out of this wagon right now! I don’t care if it is your wagon or not!”
Matt jerked his hand back, shocked. “Oh, Mon Dieu ! Did you think I was trying to be intimate with you? Oh, Gastien, non ! I apologize. I did not realize that you must not have known any positive physical contact with your father. I should have thought of that before trying to comfort you. Again, please, I am sorry to have scared you!”
Gastien could see that Matt was sincere. After a few minutes, he said “Apology accepted. You are right. I have not experienced any warmth
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