can return this now.”
Wyatt’s hair swung back over his face as he grabbed the bag from me. “Fine.” He unzipped his backpack and wadded the bag as small as he could before stuffing it inside. He yanked the zipper up again and slung the strap over his shoulder.
“Wyatt.” I reached for him with my non-comey hand.
“Don’t.” He stumbled back against the next flight of stairs. “Just don’t.”
“It’s okay.” I stuffed my hand in my pocket. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be anything but sex.”
He’d said he didn’t know if he was gay. Shit. I should have left it with kissing. But he’d been into it. No doubt about that. Maybe the problem—again—was me. All that stuff I’d whispered in his ear probably came off as clingy rather than hot.
“Or it doesn’t have to be anything at all.” If he was just figuring himself out... “If you want to talk about...stuff, you can. With me.”
He yanked his hood back up over his head. “What I want,” he bit the words off, his jaw snapping tight after the T , “is for you to leave me the fuck alone.”
He turned and took the stairs two at a time.
I didn’t go after him.
Chapter 8
I went down the narrow stairs, then through the door at the end of that hall. There was a Dumpster to my left and a loading dock to my right. A few more concrete stairs took me down to the pitted asphalt of some service road.
I threw my shoulders back and took gulps of the trash-scented air to clear my head. How had I managed to fuck that up? Not that I’d planned any of it. But I wanted it again. Wanted Wyatt.
How could I still want to be Blake’s boyfriend while wanting to suck off Wyatt?
Because I was a selfish asshole.
That’s why Wyatt had taken off. I’d been whining at Wyatt about Blake since the minute I met him. No wonder he accused me of jerking his chain. I’d gone along with all those double entendres. Flirted.
But I hadn’t known he was interested.
Shit, I still didn’t know.
I walked to the edge of the access road where it bordered the hill. A stretch of grass blotted with leaves and dandelions lead down to Lake Murphy. The fountain in the center sent up a mist that the morning sun turned into a rainbow.
When I was younger, back when just hearing the word gay made me nervous and embarrassed and excited at the same time, I’d always gotten this secret rush when I saw a rainbow. Like nature was telling me being gay was cool.
My eyes tracked the path around the lake, a thin strip of tan. I could even pick out the spot on that path where Blake had dumped me six weeks ago. I’d avoided the lake since then, but the rainbow was pretty. I should go back up around the student center, make my way to Perry, duck in a bathroom to clean up better and go to my calculus class. I needed all the goodwill I could get from the professor.
My phone buzzed. After wiping my hand on my jeans some more, I pulled the phone out of my pocket.
A text from Blake. Where the fuck did you go?
Oh, shit. I’d completely forgotten that I’d gone there to meet Blake. To talk. And technically we were broken up, but guilt still slithered through my stomach. I couldn’t see him now, with another guy’s come on my shirt.
Blake’s next text saved me from that. Never mind. Can’t now. See you at the game?
I’d been avoiding the soccer matches since Blake dumped me. At home, I never missed one.
Maybe. I sent back. I wasn’t playing some game with him. I was too confused to know what I was doing.
I really should go to calculus.
Fuck it. I walked down to the lake.
* * *
“Dude. You got laid.” Connor looked up from his laptop as I came in.
I froze, trying to sniff myself. I’d stayed by the lake until the cloud cover had made the rainbows vanish, then had cleaned up in the first bathroom I came to, but there was only so much I could do without a shower. I think the paper bag had taken the worst of it.
Had Connor noticed beard burn? My neck had gotten scraped a
Wyatt’s hair swung back over his face as he grabbed the bag from me. “Fine.” He unzipped his backpack and wadded the bag as small as he could before stuffing it inside. He yanked the zipper up again and slung the strap over his shoulder.
“Wyatt.” I reached for him with my non-comey hand.
“Don’t.” He stumbled back against the next flight of stairs. “Just don’t.”
“It’s okay.” I stuffed my hand in my pocket. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be anything but sex.”
He’d said he didn’t know if he was gay. Shit. I should have left it with kissing. But he’d been into it. No doubt about that. Maybe the problem—again—was me. All that stuff I’d whispered in his ear probably came off as clingy rather than hot.
“Or it doesn’t have to be anything at all.” If he was just figuring himself out... “If you want to talk about...stuff, you can. With me.”
He yanked his hood back up over his head. “What I want,” he bit the words off, his jaw snapping tight after the T , “is for you to leave me the fuck alone.”
He turned and took the stairs two at a time.
I didn’t go after him.
Chapter 8
I went down the narrow stairs, then through the door at the end of that hall. There was a Dumpster to my left and a loading dock to my right. A few more concrete stairs took me down to the pitted asphalt of some service road.
I threw my shoulders back and took gulps of the trash-scented air to clear my head. How had I managed to fuck that up? Not that I’d planned any of it. But I wanted it again. Wanted Wyatt.
How could I still want to be Blake’s boyfriend while wanting to suck off Wyatt?
Because I was a selfish asshole.
That’s why Wyatt had taken off. I’d been whining at Wyatt about Blake since the minute I met him. No wonder he accused me of jerking his chain. I’d gone along with all those double entendres. Flirted.
But I hadn’t known he was interested.
Shit, I still didn’t know.
I walked to the edge of the access road where it bordered the hill. A stretch of grass blotted with leaves and dandelions lead down to Lake Murphy. The fountain in the center sent up a mist that the morning sun turned into a rainbow.
When I was younger, back when just hearing the word gay made me nervous and embarrassed and excited at the same time, I’d always gotten this secret rush when I saw a rainbow. Like nature was telling me being gay was cool.
My eyes tracked the path around the lake, a thin strip of tan. I could even pick out the spot on that path where Blake had dumped me six weeks ago. I’d avoided the lake since then, but the rainbow was pretty. I should go back up around the student center, make my way to Perry, duck in a bathroom to clean up better and go to my calculus class. I needed all the goodwill I could get from the professor.
My phone buzzed. After wiping my hand on my jeans some more, I pulled the phone out of my pocket.
A text from Blake. Where the fuck did you go?
Oh, shit. I’d completely forgotten that I’d gone there to meet Blake. To talk. And technically we were broken up, but guilt still slithered through my stomach. I couldn’t see him now, with another guy’s come on my shirt.
Blake’s next text saved me from that. Never mind. Can’t now. See you at the game?
I’d been avoiding the soccer matches since Blake dumped me. At home, I never missed one.
Maybe. I sent back. I wasn’t playing some game with him. I was too confused to know what I was doing.
I really should go to calculus.
Fuck it. I walked down to the lake.
* * *
“Dude. You got laid.” Connor looked up from his laptop as I came in.
I froze, trying to sniff myself. I’d stayed by the lake until the cloud cover had made the rainbows vanish, then had cleaned up in the first bathroom I came to, but there was only so much I could do without a shower. I think the paper bag had taken the worst of it.
Had Connor noticed beard burn? My neck had gotten scraped a
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