won't be able to do it
right.”
“You mean like…”
“Wait, let me finish.
Touching is easy, both of you are fumbling around down there. And
sex isn’t too tough to figure out; you stick this in there and repeat. And I don’t want to
sound like I don’t appreciate it, but giving a blowjob is a
no-brainer. Stick it in your mouth and most guys won’t notice what
you’re doing with it, they’re just so happy it’s there in the first
place. I think that I'm afraid that I'll get down there and not
know what to know and feel like a fool, and disappoint her. I mean,
when we started fu… I can't talk to you about this, you're her
sister for God's sake.”
“And I'm your best friend and we used to
talk about this stuff before so shut up and keep talking. Look, you
know what to do with your hands, right?” I nodded. “So do that with
your tongue. Use your hands a lot, pay attention to what she likes,
I just can't believe I have to tell you this. You've been together
since high school, you've been in each other's pants every time you
turn around, how could you not know…” She saw the mournful look on
my face and subsided. “All right. We can fix this.”
“’ We’?”
“Yup, 'we'. No sister of mine is going to be
deprived if I can help it. She still have her classes on Thursdays?
Good, I'll be over around seven. Don't look at me like that, Deep
Throat, this'll be a training mission. My pants stay on.”
Some interesting thoughts went through my
mind as I tried to concentrate on business. I've never been
unfaithful to Nicole, never really wanted to be, and I've always
thought of Clary as a buddy. Okay, a buddy with a nice ass,
granted, but I never thought of her sexually, honest. Not more than
once or twice. But now while my wife was away she was coming over
to my house for the sole purpose of talking about sex. I wouldn't
be human if I didn't entertain a few stray fantasies.
Boy, was I human.
By 7:20 I was still trying to decide whether
aftershave would be pushing it, especially when I knew nothing
would happen but I wanted to be sweet-smelling if it did, when she
barged in carrying two huge bags. She brushed past me and dropped
them on the kitchen counter while I went to close the doors before
the cats made a break for it. When I looked back at her, any
niggling thoughts I may have had about the evening's activities
shriveled and died; she was digging into one of the bags with the
same expression I remembered from the night she decided to pierce
her own nipple, that
“this-is-going-to-be-great-wait-til-you-see-what-I'm-going-to-do-with-YOU”
look that I'm sure was the first thing Frankenstein's monster ever
saw. I recognized the Hustler right off, but I wasn't sure about
the fist-sized package she produced. “Um, what are you doing?” I
asked.
She kept digging and said, “Props. Gotta get
you comfortable with the little critter before you can kiss
it.”
“I'm very comfortable with the organ in
question. Are you paying me back for that avocado thing?”
“As you long as you think of it as an
'organ', you still need help. And no, my vengeance for that
travesty will be drawn out and terrible.” She started yanking at
the package wrapping.
“Gives me something to live for. Give me
that,” I said, taking the package away and easily removing the
brown paper. It was a sex aid, half a pound of polyvinyl cunningly
shaped into a familiar shape, with a reservoir. The package
promised Real Hair and The Time of My Life. I stared at it
stupidly, then looked up at her beaming face. “You bought me a
vagina?”
“Everyone should have one,” she agreed
happily. “It's a ‘Pocket Pud’. If you can't practice on the real
thing, we'll run you through the simulator.”
“I'm afraid to ask what's in the other
bag.”
“Tacos. In case I get hungry, too.”
We repaired to the bedroom and sprawled on
the bed, surrounded by her gear. I stalled by flipping through the
Hustler. “Why do they insist on showing
right.”
“You mean like…”
“Wait, let me finish.
Touching is easy, both of you are fumbling around down there. And
sex isn’t too tough to figure out; you stick this in there and repeat. And I don’t want to
sound like I don’t appreciate it, but giving a blowjob is a
no-brainer. Stick it in your mouth and most guys won’t notice what
you’re doing with it, they’re just so happy it’s there in the first
place. I think that I'm afraid that I'll get down there and not
know what to know and feel like a fool, and disappoint her. I mean,
when we started fu… I can't talk to you about this, you're her
sister for God's sake.”
“And I'm your best friend and we used to
talk about this stuff before so shut up and keep talking. Look, you
know what to do with your hands, right?” I nodded. “So do that with
your tongue. Use your hands a lot, pay attention to what she likes,
I just can't believe I have to tell you this. You've been together
since high school, you've been in each other's pants every time you
turn around, how could you not know…” She saw the mournful look on
my face and subsided. “All right. We can fix this.”
“’ We’?”
“Yup, 'we'. No sister of mine is going to be
deprived if I can help it. She still have her classes on Thursdays?
Good, I'll be over around seven. Don't look at me like that, Deep
Throat, this'll be a training mission. My pants stay on.”
Some interesting thoughts went through my
mind as I tried to concentrate on business. I've never been
unfaithful to Nicole, never really wanted to be, and I've always
thought of Clary as a buddy. Okay, a buddy with a nice ass,
granted, but I never thought of her sexually, honest. Not more than
once or twice. But now while my wife was away she was coming over
to my house for the sole purpose of talking about sex. I wouldn't
be human if I didn't entertain a few stray fantasies.
Boy, was I human.
By 7:20 I was still trying to decide whether
aftershave would be pushing it, especially when I knew nothing
would happen but I wanted to be sweet-smelling if it did, when she
barged in carrying two huge bags. She brushed past me and dropped
them on the kitchen counter while I went to close the doors before
the cats made a break for it. When I looked back at her, any
niggling thoughts I may have had about the evening's activities
shriveled and died; she was digging into one of the bags with the
same expression I remembered from the night she decided to pierce
her own nipple, that
“this-is-going-to-be-great-wait-til-you-see-what-I'm-going-to-do-with-YOU”
look that I'm sure was the first thing Frankenstein's monster ever
saw. I recognized the Hustler right off, but I wasn't sure about
the fist-sized package she produced. “Um, what are you doing?” I
asked.
She kept digging and said, “Props. Gotta get
you comfortable with the little critter before you can kiss
it.”
“I'm very comfortable with the organ in
question. Are you paying me back for that avocado thing?”
“As you long as you think of it as an
'organ', you still need help. And no, my vengeance for that
travesty will be drawn out and terrible.” She started yanking at
the package wrapping.
“Gives me something to live for. Give me
that,” I said, taking the package away and easily removing the
brown paper. It was a sex aid, half a pound of polyvinyl cunningly
shaped into a familiar shape, with a reservoir. The package
promised Real Hair and The Time of My Life. I stared at it
stupidly, then looked up at her beaming face. “You bought me a
vagina?”
“Everyone should have one,” she agreed
happily. “It's a ‘Pocket Pud’. If you can't practice on the real
thing, we'll run you through the simulator.”
“I'm afraid to ask what's in the other
bag.”
“Tacos. In case I get hungry, too.”
We repaired to the bedroom and sprawled on
the bed, surrounded by her gear. I stalled by flipping through the
Hustler. “Why do they insist on showing
Similar Books
