flickering light. They were home and awake after all, but the lights on this side of the flat weren’t on.
She still didn’t want to go up. What would she say? She was regretting having made this trip. The conversation with her mother two days ago was difficult, to say the least. They had little in common, little to say to each other. Adelina asked about Miguel and Luis, and her mother asked about Richard, which merely put a sour taste in Adelina’s mouth. But she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get out from under Richard for an entire week, and the girls did deserve to know their grandmother.
She didn’t know if their grandmother deserved to know them.
She sighed and pulled the car to a stop in the tiny parking lot behind the apartment building. She didn’t know which spot was her mother’s. She would find out soon enough—she pulled into the only empty spot then turned off the car. Despite the late hour, loud music poured into the streets from a bar nearby, and she could hear people talking and laughing. It was July in a resort town on the Mediterranean—the night sounds would continue until two or three in the morning. Even so, she could hear the crash of the surf against the beach, and the sound instantly took her back to Ocean Beach, where she often walked in the mornings during her too brief time in San Francisco.
Julia stirred in her seat. Adelina leaned in and touched her on the shoulder. “Julia, wake up, we’re here. Carrie, you too.”
Both girls grumbled, but she got them moving. Alexandra began to whine as Adelina woke her to get her out of her seat, but settled in Adelina's arms as she walked out of the parking lot and around to the sidewalk and the front of the building. A man stumbled toward them, partially shadowed from the streetlamp, and Adelina instinctively gathered her daughters around her. And that’s when it hit her.
Adelina had been sixteen when Richard raped her. Now her daughter was almost that age.
Without volition, her heart suddenly began racing, her pulse pumping loudly in her ears, a sharp pain in her chest, terror closing her throat and mind. She staggered, clutching at her chest, and Julia cried out, “Momma?”
Unbidden tears began to run down Adelina’s face as her chest tightened in even more pain. “ Madre de dios,” she whispered, not realizing she’d fallen to her knees with Alexandra still calmed in her arms. “ Help me.”
“ Momma!” the girls screeched, terrified. M o mma!
***
Dreams.
Adelina was floating, and it was peaceful. She was sitting on the edge of North Beach, the sun shining down on her like the love of God.
But she knew Richard was coming home soon. The sky was getting darker, heavy with dark clouds. She felt a raindrop, thick like oil, one, then another, the fat drops crashing against the ocean, drumming, pounding, crashing, aching, like hammers against a metal roof, and she was in the flower shop again, but not with her father. Richard was there and she was just a girl bound for the National Youth Orchestra and he took it all away.
She screamed.
***
“She’s waking up.”
Her eyes slid open, vision blurred. She looked up. Her mother was sitting there next to Luis. Luis was a big strapping sixteen-year-old with a huge grin.
“Hey, big sister,” he said. Adelina’s eyes were getting heavy again.
Adelina’s eyes bored into her mother’s. “Why did you make me marry my rapist?” she demanded, her voice heavy.
“I didn’t make you marry anyone, Adelina. What are you talking about? How dare you?”
“Get out. You’ve made my life a living hell!” Adelina screamed. “Get out!”
She screamed long after they were gone, until her throat was raw, and the cool medication ran through her veins and took her back into a deep sleep.
***
“Mr. Ambassador, we recommend against taking her now. Your wife has been through a terrible shock and needs medication and treatment.”
“She’ll get treated in a hospital with
She still didn’t want to go up. What would she say? She was regretting having made this trip. The conversation with her mother two days ago was difficult, to say the least. They had little in common, little to say to each other. Adelina asked about Miguel and Luis, and her mother asked about Richard, which merely put a sour taste in Adelina’s mouth. But she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get out from under Richard for an entire week, and the girls did deserve to know their grandmother.
She didn’t know if their grandmother deserved to know them.
She sighed and pulled the car to a stop in the tiny parking lot behind the apartment building. She didn’t know which spot was her mother’s. She would find out soon enough—she pulled into the only empty spot then turned off the car. Despite the late hour, loud music poured into the streets from a bar nearby, and she could hear people talking and laughing. It was July in a resort town on the Mediterranean—the night sounds would continue until two or three in the morning. Even so, she could hear the crash of the surf against the beach, and the sound instantly took her back to Ocean Beach, where she often walked in the mornings during her too brief time in San Francisco.
Julia stirred in her seat. Adelina leaned in and touched her on the shoulder. “Julia, wake up, we’re here. Carrie, you too.”
Both girls grumbled, but she got them moving. Alexandra began to whine as Adelina woke her to get her out of her seat, but settled in Adelina's arms as she walked out of the parking lot and around to the sidewalk and the front of the building. A man stumbled toward them, partially shadowed from the streetlamp, and Adelina instinctively gathered her daughters around her. And that’s when it hit her.
Adelina had been sixteen when Richard raped her. Now her daughter was almost that age.
Without volition, her heart suddenly began racing, her pulse pumping loudly in her ears, a sharp pain in her chest, terror closing her throat and mind. She staggered, clutching at her chest, and Julia cried out, “Momma?”
Unbidden tears began to run down Adelina’s face as her chest tightened in even more pain. “ Madre de dios,” she whispered, not realizing she’d fallen to her knees with Alexandra still calmed in her arms. “ Help me.”
“ Momma!” the girls screeched, terrified. M o mma!
***
Dreams.
Adelina was floating, and it was peaceful. She was sitting on the edge of North Beach, the sun shining down on her like the love of God.
But she knew Richard was coming home soon. The sky was getting darker, heavy with dark clouds. She felt a raindrop, thick like oil, one, then another, the fat drops crashing against the ocean, drumming, pounding, crashing, aching, like hammers against a metal roof, and she was in the flower shop again, but not with her father. Richard was there and she was just a girl bound for the National Youth Orchestra and he took it all away.
She screamed.
***
“She’s waking up.”
Her eyes slid open, vision blurred. She looked up. Her mother was sitting there next to Luis. Luis was a big strapping sixteen-year-old with a huge grin.
“Hey, big sister,” he said. Adelina’s eyes were getting heavy again.
Adelina’s eyes bored into her mother’s. “Why did you make me marry my rapist?” she demanded, her voice heavy.
“I didn’t make you marry anyone, Adelina. What are you talking about? How dare you?”
“Get out. You’ve made my life a living hell!” Adelina screamed. “Get out!”
She screamed long after they were gone, until her throat was raw, and the cool medication ran through her veins and took her back into a deep sleep.
***
“Mr. Ambassador, we recommend against taking her now. Your wife has been through a terrible shock and needs medication and treatment.”
“She’ll get treated in a hospital with
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