actually going to ask if you’d been aware of overworking lately.’
I opened my mouth to say no but instead forced myself to admit: ‘Perhaps.’
‘Overwork can lead to exhaustion and then depression becomes a danger, even with people who aren’t normally depressed. Any trouble getting to sleep?’
‘Not usually.’
‘And getting up? I was wondering if, when this vision began, you were lying in bed and wishing you could stay there all day.’
After a pause I said: ‘I wasn’t lying in bed when the vision began. I was sitting on the edge.’
‘Ah. And what exactly happened? I’m not asking for details of the vision, I hasten to add, but merely for a description of the signs which preceded it.’
‘My visual perceptions altered. Colours became very bright.’
‘Did you at any time lose consciousness?’ said Ambrose, still surreptitiously clinging to the notion of epilepsy.
‘No. My visions are always one continuous experience, the abnormal consciousness flowing directly out of the normal consciousness and back again.’
‘Is it at any time an out-of-the-body experience?’
‘Yes, in the transitional period between the normal and the abnormal I can look down on my body from above.’
‘Well, that’s all very orthodox for a psychic, I suppose,’ said Ambrose, compensating for his obsession with epilepsy by accepting my descriptions calmly. ‘When did you start having these experiences?’
‘I’ve always been psychic in the sense of being able to receive flashes of foreknowledge. But the psychic energy required to generate the visions didn’t develop until I was fourteen.’
‘The age of puberty? By the way, that reminds me – I’d better examine you for possible prostate trouble.’
We had reached the subject of sex. I kept quiet and waited.
‘No sign of disease,’ said Ambrose presently. ‘Good. But I wonder if you have any more mundane problems in that area? For instance I had a man in here the other day who was plagued by early-morning erections. Of course nothing could be more common than an early-morning erection, but this man suffered such discomfort that he found he could only obtain relief by masturbating, and as he was a priest this put him in a difficult spiritual position.’
‘Self-abuse hardly results in an easy spiritual position for a layman either, Ambrose.’
We both laughed.
‘Of course a lot of monks would give their back teeth to have such problems,’ remarked Ambrose, washing his hands. ‘It’s curious, isn’t it, how a man likes his equipment to be in working order even though he’s taken a vow not to use it? I find that psychologically interesting.’
I made no comment.
‘I’m told that this vision of yours was accompanied by certain sexual manifestations,’ said Ambrose, forced by my silence to abandon his discreet approach. ‘I presume this means you had an erection.’
By this time I was getting dressed. Buckling the belt of my habit I said: ‘It’s unhelpful, Ambrose, to press the connection between the sexual force in the body and the psychic force in the mind. There may indeed be some sort of link, but exactlywhat that link is can only be a matter of speculation and in my opinion any sexual manifestations which occur are essentially irrelevant.’
‘They’re not indicative of sexual frustration?’
‘One of my most striking visions,’ I said, ‘occurred during my marriage when I was regularly enjoying my marital rights.’
‘Then I’d certainly agree sexual frustration couldn’t have been involved on that occasion, but what about this present incident? Has celibacy been uncomfortable for you lately?’
‘Certainly not, and personally I’d have taken a very sceptical view of that monk who could only solve his physical problem by masturbating! I hope you had the good sense to tell him to apply cold water more liberally and work harder.’
‘So with regard to your present vision –’
‘It had nothing to do with sex,
I opened my mouth to say no but instead forced myself to admit: ‘Perhaps.’
‘Overwork can lead to exhaustion and then depression becomes a danger, even with people who aren’t normally depressed. Any trouble getting to sleep?’
‘Not usually.’
‘And getting up? I was wondering if, when this vision began, you were lying in bed and wishing you could stay there all day.’
After a pause I said: ‘I wasn’t lying in bed when the vision began. I was sitting on the edge.’
‘Ah. And what exactly happened? I’m not asking for details of the vision, I hasten to add, but merely for a description of the signs which preceded it.’
‘My visual perceptions altered. Colours became very bright.’
‘Did you at any time lose consciousness?’ said Ambrose, still surreptitiously clinging to the notion of epilepsy.
‘No. My visions are always one continuous experience, the abnormal consciousness flowing directly out of the normal consciousness and back again.’
‘Is it at any time an out-of-the-body experience?’
‘Yes, in the transitional period between the normal and the abnormal I can look down on my body from above.’
‘Well, that’s all very orthodox for a psychic, I suppose,’ said Ambrose, compensating for his obsession with epilepsy by accepting my descriptions calmly. ‘When did you start having these experiences?’
‘I’ve always been psychic in the sense of being able to receive flashes of foreknowledge. But the psychic energy required to generate the visions didn’t develop until I was fourteen.’
‘The age of puberty? By the way, that reminds me – I’d better examine you for possible prostate trouble.’
We had reached the subject of sex. I kept quiet and waited.
‘No sign of disease,’ said Ambrose presently. ‘Good. But I wonder if you have any more mundane problems in that area? For instance I had a man in here the other day who was plagued by early-morning erections. Of course nothing could be more common than an early-morning erection, but this man suffered such discomfort that he found he could only obtain relief by masturbating, and as he was a priest this put him in a difficult spiritual position.’
‘Self-abuse hardly results in an easy spiritual position for a layman either, Ambrose.’
We both laughed.
‘Of course a lot of monks would give their back teeth to have such problems,’ remarked Ambrose, washing his hands. ‘It’s curious, isn’t it, how a man likes his equipment to be in working order even though he’s taken a vow not to use it? I find that psychologically interesting.’
I made no comment.
‘I’m told that this vision of yours was accompanied by certain sexual manifestations,’ said Ambrose, forced by my silence to abandon his discreet approach. ‘I presume this means you had an erection.’
By this time I was getting dressed. Buckling the belt of my habit I said: ‘It’s unhelpful, Ambrose, to press the connection between the sexual force in the body and the psychic force in the mind. There may indeed be some sort of link, but exactlywhat that link is can only be a matter of speculation and in my opinion any sexual manifestations which occur are essentially irrelevant.’
‘They’re not indicative of sexual frustration?’
‘One of my most striking visions,’ I said, ‘occurred during my marriage when I was regularly enjoying my marital rights.’
‘Then I’d certainly agree sexual frustration couldn’t have been involved on that occasion, but what about this present incident? Has celibacy been uncomfortable for you lately?’
‘Certainly not, and personally I’d have taken a very sceptical view of that monk who could only solve his physical problem by masturbating! I hope you had the good sense to tell him to apply cold water more liberally and work harder.’
‘So with regard to your present vision –’
‘It had nothing to do with sex,
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