weighed an average 21 grams (there being 28 grams to the ounce), Asian testicles weighed 9 grams – the weight of the testicles of twelve-year-old white and black boys.
Men evidently equate testicles with manly courage (having balls or, as the Spanish-loving Hemingway preferred, ‘cojones’), but, considering that the testicles are the manufacturing plant that helps achieve the Darwinian goal of procreation, they are surprisingly indifferent as to what size theirs are. Put that down, perhaps, to the fact that the testes are not truly visible, and that they have to play peek-a-boo with the penis in front of them, on which men lavish all their attention.
For the record the average black or white testicle is fractionally less than 2 inches long by 0.8 inches wide and is 1.2 inches in diameter, though some are half that and a very few up to half as big again, the largest having just over twice the volume of the smallest (Jane Ingersoll in Rick Moody’s
Purple America
views Radcliffe’s testicles as ‘little cashews, not those asteroids some of her boyfriends have unveiled to her’). Taller and heavier (not obese) men tend to have big testicles, but this is a weak correlation – and there is no correlation to penis size. Hardly surprisingly, men with larger testes manufacture more sperm per day; and they ejaculate more frequently. Testicular research of a more sociological kind has deduced that men with large testicles are likely to be more unfaithful, the converse being true of men with small testicles. A woman seeking a reliable long-term partner might be advised to invest in an orchidometer.
AESTHETICS, FUNCTION AND WOMAN
IT’S DOUBTFUL THAT any penis bears more than a passing resemblance to most of those on Grecian statues. Lifelike in the depiction of all other anatomical detail, the Ancient Greeks so idealised the penis (and indeed its attendant accoutrements) that they tidied up the imperfections. Flesh and blood penises are unlikely to be dainty, slim and pointy-tipped as are those in Grecian art or that of the Renaissance, which was enamoured of the Grecian tradition (Michelangelo’s Adam on the Sistine Chapel ceiling, like God of a weightlifter’s build, is barely sufficiently endowed to propagate the human race); and testicles are virtually never symmetrical and hang in the same horizontal plane (the perfectly matched brace of a king, as the
Brihat Samhita
has it) except, perhaps, when tightened by cold or fear. If one is frank about it, penises at rest generally appear unbalanced in one way or another, the scrotum in its normal state hangs pendulously like an avocado withered on the branch (‘avocado’ comes from the Aztec for scrotum), the testicles within it unequal, the right, with few exceptions, being larger and the left (because the spermatic cord is longer on that side ) hanging lower, irrespective, curiously, of the ‘sidedness’ (right-handed, left-handed) of the possessor; according to the estimable male outfitters Gieves & Hawkes, some 80 per cent of men find it more comfortable to dress to the left.
Contemplating ‘that capital part of man [and] that wondrous treasure-bag of nature’s sweets’, John Cleland’s Fanny Hill concluded that they ‘all together formed the most interesting moving picture in nature, and surely infinitely superior to those nudities furnished by the painters, statuaries, or any art, which are purchased at immense prices’; Lawrence has Connie Chatterley laud Mellors’ genitalia as ‘the primeval root of all full beauty!’
Sadly, this is transference of masculine wishful thinking. Some women may agree, of course, including the American artist Betty Dodson who once did sixteen drawings of male genitals ‘so men could see all the wonderful variations in their sex organs’ (
Sex for One);
however, as she describes the involved penises as ‘Classical Cocks’, ‘Baroque Cocks’ and ‘Danish Modern Cocks with clean lines’ it may be that her enthusiasm
Men evidently equate testicles with manly courage (having balls or, as the Spanish-loving Hemingway preferred, ‘cojones’), but, considering that the testicles are the manufacturing plant that helps achieve the Darwinian goal of procreation, they are surprisingly indifferent as to what size theirs are. Put that down, perhaps, to the fact that the testes are not truly visible, and that they have to play peek-a-boo with the penis in front of them, on which men lavish all their attention.
For the record the average black or white testicle is fractionally less than 2 inches long by 0.8 inches wide and is 1.2 inches in diameter, though some are half that and a very few up to half as big again, the largest having just over twice the volume of the smallest (Jane Ingersoll in Rick Moody’s
Purple America
views Radcliffe’s testicles as ‘little cashews, not those asteroids some of her boyfriends have unveiled to her’). Taller and heavier (not obese) men tend to have big testicles, but this is a weak correlation – and there is no correlation to penis size. Hardly surprisingly, men with larger testes manufacture more sperm per day; and they ejaculate more frequently. Testicular research of a more sociological kind has deduced that men with large testicles are likely to be more unfaithful, the converse being true of men with small testicles. A woman seeking a reliable long-term partner might be advised to invest in an orchidometer.
AESTHETICS, FUNCTION AND WOMAN
IT’S DOUBTFUL THAT any penis bears more than a passing resemblance to most of those on Grecian statues. Lifelike in the depiction of all other anatomical detail, the Ancient Greeks so idealised the penis (and indeed its attendant accoutrements) that they tidied up the imperfections. Flesh and blood penises are unlikely to be dainty, slim and pointy-tipped as are those in Grecian art or that of the Renaissance, which was enamoured of the Grecian tradition (Michelangelo’s Adam on the Sistine Chapel ceiling, like God of a weightlifter’s build, is barely sufficiently endowed to propagate the human race); and testicles are virtually never symmetrical and hang in the same horizontal plane (the perfectly matched brace of a king, as the
Brihat Samhita
has it) except, perhaps, when tightened by cold or fear. If one is frank about it, penises at rest generally appear unbalanced in one way or another, the scrotum in its normal state hangs pendulously like an avocado withered on the branch (‘avocado’ comes from the Aztec for scrotum), the testicles within it unequal, the right, with few exceptions, being larger and the left (because the spermatic cord is longer on that side ) hanging lower, irrespective, curiously, of the ‘sidedness’ (right-handed, left-handed) of the possessor; according to the estimable male outfitters Gieves & Hawkes, some 80 per cent of men find it more comfortable to dress to the left.
Contemplating ‘that capital part of man [and] that wondrous treasure-bag of nature’s sweets’, John Cleland’s Fanny Hill concluded that they ‘all together formed the most interesting moving picture in nature, and surely infinitely superior to those nudities furnished by the painters, statuaries, or any art, which are purchased at immense prices’; Lawrence has Connie Chatterley laud Mellors’ genitalia as ‘the primeval root of all full beauty!’
Sadly, this is transference of masculine wishful thinking. Some women may agree, of course, including the American artist Betty Dodson who once did sixteen drawings of male genitals ‘so men could see all the wonderful variations in their sex organs’ (
Sex for One);
however, as she describes the involved penises as ‘Classical Cocks’, ‘Baroque Cocks’ and ‘Danish Modern Cocks with clean lines’ it may be that her enthusiasm
Similar Books
