great conclusions for our report, but also I was
able to forget about everything else in my life for most of the night.
We ordered pizza, made fun of
our lab partners and swapped stories about growing up with rich kids. Gavin
came to ASU from Compton. I laughed at first when he told me, because I didn’t
think anyone actually came from Compton, but he assured me they did. He said
his neighborhood was full of families that had lived there for years, but that
it made him sad to see people afraid to go out at night. He took a bus to a
private school that he was able to go to on a scholarship. And I thought I had
it hard.
I’d also learned that Gavin came
to ASU because of a girl, but after their freshman year, they broke up; his ex,
Maya, moved back to California, but Gavin decided to stay. This part of the
conversation started to make me a little uncomfortable, partly because I didn’t
want to go into my relationship with Reed and the drama that had descended on
my life as of late, and partly because it felt a little as if Gavin was
flirting with me.
When we were eating, he reached
over twice to dab my cheek with a napkin; I kept one in my hand to take care of
my own face after that. Then, when I was typing up our final results, he stood
behind me and massaged my shoulders a little, sometimes his touch lingering
just a little too long.
Gavin was incredibly good
looking. He was the kind of guy who played the guitar with random bands for fun
and rolled to class on a skateboard. His intelligence was a sexy contrast with
his entire bad-boy image. When I was packing up my things and getting ready to
leave, I felt a rush of heat hit my nerves as Gavin put his hand on the center
of my back as he walked me to the door. And when he reached over to give me a
friendly hug—one that suddenly felt not-so-friendly—I panicked.
“I have a boyfriend,” I just
laid it out there, just like that. No preface, no real reason to add it to the
conversation, other than the massive blood-rush hitting my eardrums and making
me feel as if I might soon pass out. I had nothing left other than to give
Gavin the stupidest of smiles.
“Oh, uh…okay?” he said, once
again shoving his hands in his pockets, seeming to try to make himself appear
less threatening. “I didn’t mean anything. I just…boy, I’m not really sure what
to say here.”
He stood there rubbing the back
of his neck and chuckling nervously. I had just made this extremely awkward.
“Sorry,” I said, trying to fix
things. “I just… I realized that we talked a lot about you, and I hadn’t shared
much. I thought it was one of those things that were good to know.”
He just smiled at me, his lips
forming the most adorable grin, forcing his eyes to scrunch a bit. “It’s okay.
Yeah, that…the boyfriend…it’s good to know,” he said, nodding and reaching out
his hand in a fist to give me a pound. I just pounded back and laughed a
little.
“Thanks,” I said. “Sorry, I
didn’t mean to get all weird. I think I just need to go home and get some
sleep.”
“That sounds like a good plan,”
he said, opening his door for me and leaning against the frame as I walked out
backwards, making my way to the stairs. “Sweet dreams, you.”
He watched as I walked all the
way to the stairway door, and then he closed his. I may have not had much
dating experience, and I may have only been with Reed, but I was pretty sure
Gavin was hitting on me, ever so slightly. And I didn’t hate it. But the guilt
it left behind as I made my way back into my room and dumped my pile of papers
and computer on my desk was certainly not worth the small little rush of being
found attractive by someone who wasn’t Reed. And when I forced my mind back to
Reed, I started to cry. Hard.
Reed had sent me a couple of
texts while I was working on my project with Gavin: one apologizing for missing
my call, and the second one—a longer one that came a few hours
later—explaining that he’d
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